Dirk Koetter may have been dumped. But he has girlfriends, Arizona State. There’ll be another you in a minute, Arizona State. As a matter of fact, there will be five of them here in a minute.

Koetter says he’s gotten five job offers, and not just from the all-cash, can’t miss home marketing opportunity we get five of a day in the spambox.(HT: The Wiz.) The Miami Herald reports he’s a mention for the Miami Hurricanes offensive coordinator slot, which would be nasteeeeeeeee should he get it, since he’d be bringing the novel concept of scoring points to the ACC and using some of Miami’s F-22 speed to do it.

How far have negotiations for any of these jobs gotten, you ask? (Or Arizona State asks, trying to preen at the party with new boyfriend Dennis Erickson, telling him I bet he hasn’t even sent his resume in yet. He’s such a wimp, not like he-man you, Dennis. Spank me again!) Koetter says there’s a time and place for it, but we’ll make an educated guess using terminology only the most dedicated of Arrested Development could love: they’ve probably only gotten to second base, but considering the whole five-jobs-and-waiting-thing, have done so headfirst and sliding:

In a weird bit of coacing circularity, outgoing Miami OC Rich Olson is reuniting with former boss Dennis Erickson at his new job at…Arizona State. You may remember Olson as the man who did not call a pass over seven yards in length for the entire year of 2006, which shows that if you can get one D-1 coaching job in your life, you’ve got one for life.

Meanwhile, Charlie Strong’s totally just hanging out, y’all. Really. Just hanging out, watching The Wire, you know, catching up and prepping for the Buckeyes and working on his pecs. Just a random mention without any insinuations or subtext. At all.