We thought this was the bomb: combine two of the year’s hottest things into a single product, pitch it to ESPN, and back the Brinks truck up, baby. Who could lose when you combine the perpetually hott Al Groh, who likes Foreigner, and this year’s surprise home entertainment classic Guitar Hero 2? We thought we’d be a senator twirling a gun in days.

Better still, it turns out Coach Groh was a fiend for GH2, and blew off steam after big games by playing co-operative games with the UVA night janitor. (You already knew he did this.) In fact, we brought Al in and he ripped the whole thing off in like two hours flat, dishing out tips and pointers like Esteban in a sleeveless sweatshirt.

Sadly, the folks at ESPN turned the whole thing down, leaving us with a roomful of mockup covers, “AL GROH TAUGHT ME TO PLAY LIKE A FACEMELTER!!!” t-shirts, and two hours of useless video. A warning to young, bright-eyed entrepreneurs out there: it ain’t all bitches and benjamins, man.

You might as well listen to Al’s intro for his fave, “The Urgent” by Foreigner. We know, it’s actually just “Urgent,” but Al kept insisting on calling it what Foreigner wrote on this playlist he jacked backstage at a show in Philly in 1987, which was “The Urgent.” Follow the bass drum–it’s the key to playing the funk.


MP3 File

We’ve got five hundred of these printed up in the garage if you want ‘em. We’re using them to keep warm at the moment.