ALABAMA COACHING SEARCH: ONGOING ODDS
by Orson on Dec 6, 2006 1:25 PM EST
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PrintWe update you on the ongoing oddsmaking going on in Vegas re: the Alabama Crimson Tide coaching job.
1. Rich Rodriguez: 5-1
2. Mike Leach: 14-1
3. Paul Johnson: 8-1
4. Coach Ace Bricka: No picture available, but we've seen the kind of results his innovative system can generate in his work in the Mutant League.
Alabama fans would appreciate Bricka's unique tactics.
5. Deep Blue: 30-1. Brilliant strategist, lackluster recruiter. "Available, but almost as uncharismatic as David Cutcliffe," says a consultant and Bama insider.
6. Paul Bryan, bassist for Aimee Mann and indie rock artist: 55-1. "All he needs is a t and he's a shoo-in for the job," says another anonymous Bama insider. Bryan, though, expresses no interest in the job: "I'm a bassist and I know nothing about football. Thank you, though."
But he sounds like the guy for the job, doesn't he?
7. Turd Sandwich: 3-1. The people's choice at this point. "We had one a these for the past few years, so at least the taste wouldn't surprise anyone," said commentator Phil from Hoover on the Paul Finebaum Show yesterday. Turd Sandwich has also been known to go by the name Mike Sherman, and has been applied to any other coach qualifying as a tired NFL retread.
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Uff da.
Imagine Paul Johnson’s offense in the SEC. Every game would have to be played with throwback jerseys and single-bar facemasks. Also, shot in black and white.
by now_a_hoo on Dec 6, 2006 1:29 PM EST reply actions
I know Turd Sandwich. I’ve eaten a Turd Sandwich. You sir, are no Turd Sandwich.
by Mr. Wrong on Dec 6, 2006 1:32 PM EST reply actions
john parker jingelheimerschmidt throwing teh ball 65 times a game?? sunny cumbie in da house
by S on Dec 6, 2006 1:32 PM EST reply actions
Whoops, apparently Johnson aired it out at Georgia Southern.
Ignore me above.
Also, Yarr.
by now_a_hoo on Dec 6, 2006 1:34 PM EST reply actions
Johnson ran teh wishbone bascially at G SOuthern, it was at Hawaii where he was OC that he aired it out.
by Mack10zie on Dec 6, 2006 1:37 PM EST reply actions
I hope Bama gets Rodriguez because if his wife flipped out about a radio show in West Virginia, it’s going to be grand once she hears Slimebomb for the first time.
Rodriguez to Bama will lead to a nice messy public divorce.
by NewAZTiger on Dec 6, 2006 1:50 PM EST reply actions
I have also withdrawn my name from consideration for the ’Bama job. By my count, the following rumored candidates have said no:
Steve Spurrier
Nick Saban
Jim Leavitt
Jim Grobe
Bob Pruett
Kim Jong-Il
Jessica Simpson
Me
I still think Orson should do tee-shirts on this one.
by DevilGrad on Dec 6, 2006 1:52 PM EST reply actions
Three names, Bama fans:
Sylvester
Freaking
Croom
by Travis Swenson on Dec 6, 2006 2:11 PM EST reply actions
Is it just me or is Mike Leach on swole? Dude looks like a Macy’s balloon in that picture.
by glacialspeed on Dec 6, 2006 2:23 PM EST reply actions
Nathan Petrelli for coach, bet he’d have a high flying offense.
by moochy on Dec 6, 2006 2:31 PM EST reply actions
One condition for Croom ’Bama fans….you have to also take Woody McCorvey and Larry Templeton as a package. Throw in some Bama girls and and open a Dreamland inStarkville and we got a deal.
by AtomicDog on Dec 6, 2006 2:34 PM EST reply actions
Maisel is reporting it’s a done deal… says he’s got 3 bama AD and 3 WVU AD sources… something like $2.35M / Year…
Personally, I was pulling for Deep Blue… he could keep Kines for charisma and force Norm Chow (because Deep Blue doesn’t “ask” anyone to do anything) to come on as OC.
by RedTide on Dec 6, 2006 2:41 PM EST reply actions
McSteamy 2 Bama. Female attendance would go thru the roof! Hell, I’d even drive to ’Bama for a few games (read: to stalk him).
by CouchBurnin'Girl on Dec 6, 2006 2:51 PM EST reply actions
CouchBurnin’Girl: They already tried that with McShula.
by Travis Swenson on Dec 6, 2006 2:53 PM EST reply actions
SJS,
Who’s turned down the job? I’ve yet to read about anyone who’s been offered the job, yet declined.
by Rainmaker on Dec 6, 2006 3:05 PM EST reply actions
Call it denial… call it foolish… call it a reality-blinding love for WVU… but I just don’t see him leaving for Alabama (I say as I knock on every wooden thing in sight).
Of course did Florida fans see Spurier leaving?
I’ll be so sad…
by CouchBurnin'Girl on Dec 6, 2006 3:16 PM EST reply actions
Threadjack,
Its no Willie Williams, but another Florida high school prospect (and future Florida Gator) has run his mouth regarding his recruitment.
Stop snitchin’ Chris Rainey!
Chris Rainey, Lakeland’s star senior running back, told The Miami Herald he received sports jerseys and jewelry from a Lakeland clothing vendor in exchange for an autograph. He also said he received cash from an unknown elderly woman.
‘’I didn’t even count it,‘’ Rainey said in a story published Tuesday. ’When I walk around, people are buying me food, giving me money. I’m like, `Damn, I’m glad I’m Chris Rainey. It’s real nice to be me.’ ’’
by AUAlum on Dec 6, 2006 3:21 PM EST reply actions
It seems the offer has now even been posted on his Wikipedia entry…
by RedTide on Dec 6, 2006 3:47 PM EST reply actions
by Old Sweaty Wrists on Dec 6, 2006 4:09 PM EST reply actions
Paul Bryan’s also from Brooklyn — a definite no-no.
by Newspaper Hack on Dec 6, 2006 4:12 PM EST reply actions
http://www.brinkleys.org/users/tsl/Files/RRBama.jpg
I thought Mike Price took that chain with him to El Paso.
by Newspaper Hack on Dec 6, 2006 4:13 PM EST reply actions
I would like to formally announce my candidacy for the job of the head coach of the University of Alabama football team. This, of course, is based on my mad skillz at NCAA Football 2007. Are there other requirements?
by therealsolitare on Dec 6, 2006 4:31 PM EST reply actions
Eli Gold’s from Brooklyn and that worked out fine…actually, hold up, has anybody actually considered Eli Gold? The radio guy certainly has a better grip on what’s wrong on the field, and hell, he’s been in the skybox for what, 16 years now?
I mean, as long as we’re just throwing out names…come on, Georgia fans, wouldn’t you love to see Munson call a few plays?
by VandyJ on Dec 6, 2006 4:44 PM EST reply actions
Sure… he could bring Stabler with him as his OC…
by RedTide on Dec 6, 2006 4:51 PM EST reply actions
If Munson were calling plays, every run would be “up in there” and every pass would be “in the corner.”
by kcmci on Dec 6, 2006 5:57 PM EST reply actions
Looks like Rod is staying in Morgantown. He’ll get the facility improvements he wants thanks to the politicians.
by AUAlum on Dec 6, 2006 6:41 PM EST reply actions
You know who’d love that job?
George O’Leary.
by captaineclectic on Dec 6, 2006 11:31 PM EST reply actions
Tom O’Brien to NC State. Nobody saw that coming.
http://www.boston.com/sports/colleges/football/articles/2006/12/06/bcs_obrien_to_take_nc_state_job/
by Captain on Dec 6, 2006 11:57 PM EST reply actions
Let us pause for a minute to examine the black candidates for head coach at Alabamastan:
- MC Hammer: knows as much about football as Mike Shula, looks better in puffy pants
- Ty Willingham: Golf courses on the increase in the region, discount on white girls this month only!!!
- Tiger Woods: wait… is this guy black? Are you sure?
- Bill Clinton: first black president of the US got nothing going on, plenty of airheaddas willing to go down in the general vicinity, can probably work out deal with Auburn to have them move to ACC
- OJ Simpson: motivates players with talks about how much he loves them, how they will never play for any other team, how if they don’t win he will have to do something crazy…again
- Opray Winfrey: might get distracted during pre-game equipment inspection, but will always pull it out in the end, especially if Dr Phil is the defensive coord. Ends up buying the best team in the nation, then having them stuffed and mounted on her mantle.
or finally:
- Cleavon Little: “…. there’s a new sheriff in town….” Oh, wait, he’s dead. Guess we have to go back to da’ Bear.
by Futbawl Fan on Dec 7, 2006 12:13 AM EST reply actions
I vote for Buck Fama, ole Buck has been around a while but he knows "Bama football.
by Ed Legion on Dec 7, 2006 8:33 AM EST reply actions
I love how some of these coaches are so full of themselves that they think Alabama wants them in Tuscaloosa. It’s also funny how South Carolina, West Virginia, etc. have to pony up new contracts and facilities upgrades to keep them from leaving…
There is a lot of pressure to win at Alabama. Sounds more like the coaches don’t have the balls to accept the challenge….
by Christian on Dec 7, 2006 10:37 PM EST reply actions
Let’s hear everyone talk now that Saban is at "Bama…
by CHristian on Jan 3, 2007 11:03 AM EST reply actions
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