ES RODRIGUEZ, CLARO.

One coach not triangulated… USF’s Jim Leavitt. Although he turned downed millions last year to go to KSU (a program he had coached at) and he has also publicly proclaimed that he is going to finish what he started in building a nice program, so he too is unlikely… but we’ve got to keep him in the rumor mill.

If, as you say “…a faint whiff of scandal would attract Bama boosters” then shouldn’t we stuff a George O’Leary into this fine bowl of gossip soup?

Last year O’Leary was hot. This year… not so much.

keep kines as hc, let him bring in Mickey “lizard” Andrews as dc, and that redneck nazi hoover coach propst as oc

oh yeah…hire Joe Kines as your HC. Then next thing you know, “special assistant” Danny Ford is hanging around for no good reason at all and people are all “hey, he won a national championship once” and then your screwed.

do it bama. do it.

I hear that Mike Sherman’s name is being thrown out there now. He’s currenty holds the glamorous position of “Assistant Head Coach-Offense” of the Houston Texans now, which probably wouldn’t take a lot of arm-twisting.

AHHHHHH!!! ANOTHER MIKE!!!

Does anyone think that this will be settled before the end of bowl season?

Cuz I should probably go ahead and do some work if it’s gonna take that long.

Please speculate.

Why did I make He possessive? Damnit.

Leavitt turned down the Turds back when Maw Mooah wound up hiring Pappy Price. Tradishun demands that they refuse to acknowledge his existance from then on.

I like the idea of Mickey “The Lizard” and Joe Kines!!!

We’re sure this will look great when Alabama announces the hiring of John L. Smith as their new head coach after everyone else bugs out,

And there will be rolling of Toomer’s Corner in Auburn!

Hey Will,
You are a deusch who knows not of what they speak.

Hey bama_buck,

From what I’m reading, Bama is going to take its time in announcing a head coach — two weeks or later. I’d say that you can enjoy Bama’s bowl game and wait for an announcement after that.

Do you have what it takes to be a HC at any of the big schools? Fill out this form and wait for their offer letter.

Kines isn’t that good, I don’t see him ending up at Texas.
Rumor is that CSS actually accepted an offer last Sunday before later changing his mind. Mal Moore and scary booster Drummond thought they had him in the bag. Spurrier backed off, and left Bama coach-less.

Spurrier has left only one job abruptly? Whaa? I think Foley would disagree with that statement.

this year has made it clear that WVU can go and play no one all season and still make the national championship game. Why go to an alabama program where you have to play georgia, lsu, florida, auburn, tenn, etc every year when you can be the best team in a lousy conference every year and compete for the national championship every year? Mark my words, if he goes to alabama he will be a failure (unless slaton and white go with him).

WVU is going to the National Championship Game? Where the hell have I been? Damn moonshine.

I think Rod is just holding out for more money for his assistants and better facilities. And yeah, I’m sure he would like a little something for himself. A million in West Virginia is worth two million every where else. As demanding as Mountaineer fans are, they can forgive a few down years. Alabama fans, not so much.

Agreed.

Two years Bama fans far and wide proclaimed that Urban Meyer, as a coach of an upper mid-level program succeeding largely on the back of a “gimmick” offense, would be in WAY over his head in the SEC. They can’t hire Rich Rod. They may start to look foolish.

Seriously, speaking as a USF student, Leavitt’s not going anywhere. After nearly breaking down in presser I doubt he’ll leave the school he’s built. I mean, he has no pressure, really; I mean, unlike [NAME REDACTED], his teams actually do keep getting better. And besides, he has all the chain restaurants and strip clubs he could ever want to help recruit players. All he’s missing, by his own admission, is a Dining Hall for players (really, said it on a morning show today, 11/29). Also, his entire family is here and he grew up in town. I mean, you can’t be much more of a home town hero, really.

Wouldn’t John L. be better in Miami? He can teach the convic—er, players to slap themselves whenever they feel the urge to start a brawl with the opposing team. You can’t get suspended for slapping yourself, right?

Is Charlie Strong getting consideration for ANY of the open head coaching jobs. I’d hate to lose him, but he’s way overdue for a shot somewhere.

Man! is it ever pouring rain outside!
Anyway, Why doesn’t Frank Solich’s name ever come up in these conversations?
He did fine at Nebraska and they fired him for no apparent reason. Then he goes to little pereenial loser Ohio U. and they’re 9-3….. going to a bowl game for the first time in 40 Years!
God! I wish Illinois would have gone after him instead of Zook.

FYI to boys, esp. commenter #12: It’s douche, not deusch. Really.

Perhaps deusch is the German spelling.

TCOAN, I believe the term has already evolved to deutchbank.

ex: “That guy is such a deutchbank.”

I’ll make two lists, one for those that should be considered in order and those I had rather the university not even bother with that are currently popular and/or one-hit-wonders:
1. Bob Petrino—bold and aggressive, no nonsense attitude is just what Bama needs, offensive guru who could immediately goad the Auburn powers and Tuberville, has a small one million dollar buyout clause. Major drawbacks: needs to get a defensive coordinator with an ability to stop the opponents pass, his family loves the Louisville area and he turned down the Raiders three times on a 20 million dollar offer.
2. Steve Spurrier—although he has recently denied interest, a friend of his (Bill Oliver) stated that if the correct offer is made Steve would take a long hard look at the deal and consider his options. He is the best SEC coach since Bear and houndstooth visors would sell rapidly, he runs a generally clean program, he will not put up with a losing attitude which has infested the Bama program (i.e., acceptance of low expectations). Drawbacks—has invested a lot of time and energy at S. Car. and may not be ready to leave with a well-regarded recruiting class coming in this year, a little long in the tooth and would probably only stay 3-6 seasons b/c he will not hang around like a Paterno or Bowden.
3. Greg Schiano—brilliant defensive strategist who turned around a program that was as bad as Temple, his attitude would be greatly respected in Alabama. Drawbacks—native of Jersey area and unlikely to leave even for Miami where he also has ties.
4. Bill Parcells—perfect attitude to clean up the program from the lack of discipline of the Shula Error. Drawbacks—age, already has one of the top NFL jobs, yet four years ago he did call AD Moore about the job and Moore never bothered to return the call (this was reported in the Birmingham News by Kevin Scarbinsky and others).
5. Chris Peterson, Boise State—probably the real genius behind Dan Hawkins great record at Boise and is an offensive whiz averaging around 45 points per game over the last six seasons, young up and coming coach much like Urban Meyer at Bowling Green and Utah. Drawbacks—must get a better defensive coordinator who teaches sound coverage skills.
6. Gary Patterson—excellent coach and defensive minded. Drawbacks—Tide has already had one bad experience with a coach from TCU.
7. Paul Johnson, Navy—more adaptable in his offense than many people think, has a 98-34 overall record so a lot of experience winning and not much in the losing category is always good. Drawbacks—no experience at a major program, may be involved in a major steroid scandal at Navy.
8. Rich Rodriquez—much like Schiano there is very little chance of moving him from his current area and he would really need a severe upgrade on the defensive side of the ball, particularly against the pass.
9. Frank Beamer—has previously expressed interest in Tide job, great special teams and defense that would be very appreciated. Drawbacks—absolutely must bring Bud Foster (DC) with him and not leave him behind to take over the Va. Tech HC job or may end up like Dan Hawkins (rudderless at Colorado minus OC Chris Peterson), also runs a program that on the field edges towards dirty play and his players often demonstrate a lack of class.
10. Jimmy Johnson—complete pipedream but a great leader and unquestioned general over players, he may like to erase the bad taste left in his mouth after his Miami Dolphins experience.
DO NOT EVEN BOTHER:
1. Jim Grobe—people talk about him like he has answers, Wake Forest has only won this year because Miami and FSU and others are in the dumps, so what if he finishes 11-2 or 12-2 this year b/c Shula got lucky and finished 10-2 last year in a much tougher conference. Overall record is: 69-67-1 and at Wake he is 36-34, that is simply far too many losses. He has also had SEVEN losing/non-winning seasons out of twelve, if we wanted that why not keep Shula? This guy is a bum and may be fine for WF or other colleges but do not bring him to Bama.
2.Chan Gailey—dumb redneck who cannot beat his rival Georgia; Bama needs a coach who can beat rivals LSU, Auburn, and Tennessee at least every once in a while. Tech has lost SIX in row to Georgia, again if we wanted that why not just keep Shula. He may be fine for Tech or some other college but do not bring him, like Curry (0-for Auburn lifetime) to Alabama.
3. Steve Kragthorpe—a hot name the past two seasons, but realistically he is only 29 Wins to 21 Losses, Shula was 26-23 and that is unsatisfactory. Kraggy has not big time experience and went 4-8 in 2004, not good enough. He may be fine for Tulsa or some other small college but do not bring him to Alabama.
4. David Cutcliffe—poor recruiter, does not excite the fan base or anyone else for that matter. Cannot get exited himself because he may have a heart attack at any minute. A graduate of Alabama but like Weis did not play there and he has too many ties to Fulmer. His Ole Miss teams also did not have a defense that would be needed to compete consistently. Again, fine for UT or as a HC somewhere else.
5. Anyone named MIKE—at all costs avoid Mikes. Mike DumBose—scandalous, sexual controversies and infractions, Mike Price—scandalous, sexual controversies, Mike Shula—may not know what sex is.

Bama seems to be way beyond the eating crow stage. Do you remember all the things Spurrier did to them? He (along with Fulmer and half the other coaches in the SEC) turned Bama in. Someone the other day called into talk radio saying “We should be grateful to Spurrier because he turned us in when we did. We might have gotten the death penalty.” He also laughed about it later saying Florida lost recruiting battles to Bama becase “Their scholarships were worth more than ours.” If they were willing to take Spurrier, they are more than willing to overlook Rich Rod’s offensive game plans.

You should see Michigan Zone for the definitive hire at Bama

“That girl is such a slut you can see the deutschmarks on her chair when she gets up.”

Rodriguez seems the be the choice du jour of the internet right now, but I don’t see it happening. While the Big East was surprisingly better this season, WVA doesn’t have a tough road to get to BCS bowls. The SEC, on the other hand, is full of land mines.

RR recent comment that he merely hadn’t been contacted yet either indicates that he’s interested or he’s trying to get a pay raise.

I think it’s the latter.

My crystal ball says Alabama will end up with Paul Johnson or Mike Sherman (former coach of the Packers).

My wife is Pennsylvania Dutch. Maybe that’s what he meant.

Mike Sherman! Feel the vibration!

deusch or douche everyone got the point

If Bama is going to hire another Mike, I say Mike Leach. I picture him as being the only coach totally impervious to fan/booster nuttiness. You can’t out-crazy the Pirate King.

Maybe it was some kind of bizarre insult, calling him Howard Deutsch?

“Oh yeah, well you’re such a loser you probably directed some of John Hughes’ films!”

Guys,
SOS is not going to bama. As someone with decent connections with USC, and having a friend that knows our coaches and hangs out with some of them, SOS would be lying to his friends, family, coaches, players, recruits, etc if he went to Bama.
Money doesn’t matter. He was offered $2.0M at USC and he told the staff to only pay him $1.25M and keep the rest for offering assistants and capital improvements. He and Jeri have also donated $250,000 recently to the $200M capital improvements program, which almost half of the money has already been donated. That, on top of the fact that he told some assistant coaches that he doesn’t mind the rumors because it is free publicity showing how everyone wants our coaches….its just not gonna happen. Also, i was at his call in show live when they asked him the question and he gave his not-so-commital “I don’t intend to leave USC” speech, then when they went off the air he told the crowd he isn’t going anywhere, don’t worry, and gave the thumbs up and said starting next year his mission was to compete for the East.

Which is actually German, isn’t it Will?

The dooche gun was my favorite on the Goldeneye N64 game.

Okay, is the “Takeshi’s Castle obstacle course” in this case A.) Dash of Death, B.) Log Drop, or C.) Sinkers & Floaters?

Rich Rod is the only one who hasn’t actually said he won’t take the job. He just said something about how rumors get started…never denies anything.

Would you rather be a deusch or a looser?

Nice work O in getting a MXC reference in this story!

Rodriguez isn’t going anywhere. Why???
1. Would you leave a team with two possible Heisman Candidates (White and Slaton) turning junior next season?
2. Would you leave a team that looks to be better next year than the current year, with most of your starters being soph’s and jr’s next season?
3. Would you leave your alma mater and family which lives 30 minutes from your school?
4. Would you leave a school that just renegotiated your contract right before this season and gave you commitments to everything you asked for?
5. Would you leave a school where you have a good shot at competing for the league championship and BCS bid every year to go to a conference where you will have a much harder time doing so?
6. Would you leave a program with a squeaky clean record to go to one that is just finishing hard probation?
7. Would you leave a school where the fans can forgive a couple sub-par seasons for a school where you can be let go one year after a 10-2 season?
8. Would you leave a school where you have lifetime job security for a school with one of the fastest coaching carousels in the country?

Is eight enough…or do I have to keep typing?

Only one reason he would leave – if he loves the $$$ more than anything else.

You tell me.

The potential for crippling injury in Log Drop and Sinkers & Floaters is just astounding.

How I love the Japanese.

I stand by my guess that it’s got to be Rich Rod or Navy Johnson, because I firmly believe that Bama wouldn’t pull the trigger without at least a handshake deal to hire someone…and we’d’ve had an announcement if the coach’s current team wasn’t still playing. Look for a presser on Monday out front of the original Dreamland in Jerusalem Heights…

Actually Beamer has a shown a marked disinterest in the Alabama job, each time his name is floated it’s quickly debunked. At age 60, coaching at his Alma Mater in his 20th year with heavy recruiting ties to every school in VA and quite a few in NC, a staff with many decade plus coaches, cushy contract with renewals into perptuity and a sky high buyout only the finest cooked-crack inspired fever dreams would result in someone thinking he’d pull up stakes and go to one of the worst “Best Jobs in CFB.”

The fans are fickle and have unrealistic expectations, the athletic department has the attention span of a monkey on crank and you’re just a few smoke filled rooms away from sanctions at any moment.

What made coach would step into that willingly?

RR to the Capstone? Nah, not one of the boys. Paul Johnson, maybe. Who is the real dark horse candidate, like a Steve Sarkisian, a Jay Barker, or a Charlie Strong?

As far as no sex for Mike Shula, in reference to #29, reminder of this picture: http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/7708/2176/1600/MrsShula.0.jpg.
 But unlike Gabby, she won’t have to go back to modeling for a while.

http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=93065697&blogID=199053321&MyToken=53889101-7f2c-4019-8e65-f4b676f4a851

Free food for Orson.

Just sayin’.

My wife is Pennsylvania Dutch. Maybe that’s what he meant.

I hear you, brother. :(

Stewart is buying food – just be thankful Mark Mangino isn’t a Tech fan!

To the guy with verbal diarrhea in #29, let me just say that Jim Grobe’s achievement in compiling the career record he has at Ohio U (“a drinking school with a football problem”) and Wake freakin’ Forest is every bit as impressive to me as Spurrier’s pre-Florida record at Duke.

That said, Grobe would be an absolute idiot to subject himself to the Bama job — unless he’s really looking for three to four good years of pre-retirement paydays.

Following on the tone of DevilGrad, I think that taking the Bama job would be like having a boxing match with a pre-prison Mike Tyson: you’re scheduled for 15 rounds but might make 1/3rd of those; right from the start you take shots to the body, head, and abdomen, and towards the end you may get a couple of cheap shots to the kidneys and get your ear bitten off. Oh, and the horror will be highly televised, and you wonder after it is all over whether the $3 million paycheck for getting abused is worth it.

Will,

You have rocks for brains.

Jim Leavitt did no such thing. Despite having serious conversations with UA, Leavitt was never offered the job due to the discovery of some personal issues. USF engaged in a little charade to make it appear like they staved off Bama in an attempt to give their extremely young program a little more credibility.

You might want to try educating yourself before spouting off.

Excellent comparison, Papa.

Leavitt? Personal issues? Oh, he’s never leaving Tampa, then.

Dig up Coach Bryant’s old bones and try some fancy cloning. Or hire Lou Holtz, same difference.

Why is Jeff Tedford not in the mix around here?

Also, it seems logical to assume whomever accepts the Bama job will take himself off the board for the FSU spot — at least in the scenario where Bobby retires/dies within 2 years.

Is HBC at Bama or FSU more attractive?

Yes, hire Lou Holth. Anything to get that thputtering geether off the air.

The job has been filled by a familiar name according to the MZone.

http://michiganzone.blogspot.com/

This is the only choice to make Bama fans happy.

I don’t think Tedford will take the job – mainly because my wife will cut my throat with her Cal tickets if he does – but if he’s ever going to, this would be the time: he’s one Holiday Bowl appearance in 2007 from becoming the Pac-10’s answer to Mack Brown or Spurrier-era Phil Fulmer, unable to get around the one big conference obstacle. The Berkeley city council is screeching about the stadium plans, the “Save the Oaks” crowd is fighting the new facility, and Lynch, Bishop, Mebane and other key guys are done after this year, so next year could wind up being an 8-win season unless the defense managed to fill a lot of holes.

On the other hand, Tedford is a god in NorCal, and I don’t see him taking another college job – I think the next move is the NFL, and despite everything I still think the line for college-to-pro starts behind Ferentz and Petrino.

I’m with Vandy J. Getting Tedford to move from Blackhawk in the beautiful East Bay to Alabama is absolutely ridiculous, shit ain’t happening.

can you imagine if bill snyder and nick saban were somehow, someway on the same staff. man, those poor assistan coaches would never see their families.

Rodriguez is the hire, watch & see.

I don’t see it. right now, WVU is a better job than ’Bama, especially for Rich Rod.

The expectations are unrealistic, the demands too high and the rewards too low. Price would have been a good hire for them, but he made a fool of himself with the strippers (which MIGHT NOT have gotten him fired at WAZZU).

I think they should go get a hot coordinator and leave him alone; Chizik would have been a good fit if they had moved quickly enough.

Price would have been awesome at Bama. In a few short months, he became closer to the students, players, faculty, and administration than Shula did in 4 years. Also, he’s the kind of guy who would have made changes if someone told him to.

You all do realize that coaching is just like playing. You want to make it to the highest level of competition to really see what you are made of.

 “Would you leave a school where you have a good shot at competing for the league championship and BCS bid every year to go to a conference where you will have a much harder time doing so?”.

Why in the world would you all assume someone would want to stay at a school where it’s EASY to win instead of competing a higher level. The SEC is as strong as it is because everyone is a challenge. It makes your winning a National Title that much more worthy.

It’s just like Shaq leaving the Lakers who could have always won the title and going to Miami where they needed the assistance. It was a huge challenge and he succeeded. It’s also just like Spurrier wanting to go to the Skins to see if he could coach at the next level. This obviously didn’t work out but he is now rebuilding USC and that is a serious challenge.

It can sometimes be about the money but it should always be about the challenge when it comes to sports.

Good point Alabama Man, and a better reason to leave than money.