COACH KILLER: EBAY

No supplements needed on Bobby Bowden's explanation for his son's inability to call anything besides a square-in, jump ball, or blown-up screen as an offensive coordinator:

As for why things didn't work out, he didn't point to statistics or won-lost records.

"Because you all ignited it," he said to a small room of reporters. "You listen to eBay and e-mail and all that junk, and you all kept writing about it and that fans it and makes it grow and grow, and it becomes a cancer. That's why."


Jeff Bowden's playbook for sale. Opening bid: $550,000 from user exasperatedboosternfla.

Two things:

1. Don't even try to purchase wemustignitethiscoach.com, because if you do our lawyaz iz strong and multifarious, yo.

2. Ebay actually does destroy coaches. Especially when they're shopping for other coaches' playbooks in a last-ditch attempt to properly call a game. In the middle of a game. (HT: Jeremy, WATB.)

3. Bowden's actually pissed because Jeff totally got this notice about a real live confederate army vintage flintlock musket he was trying to buy that said he needed to give EBay his credit card information and then OMG! some huge charges on Dad's Visa at a jewelry shop in Istanbul showed up so Dad had to spend like six hours on the phone straightening the whole thing out and that made him so tired that Jeff had to go put him to bed which sucked because then Jeff missed the episode of JAG he'd been waiting to see on USA. That TiVo think is wayyyy too complex to mess with, in Jeff's opinion.


Stranko, is this where we put cheesecake? This is what happens when you have instant access to porn--you just go right to it and bypass cheesecake! And thus lose all cheesecake skills! DAMN YOU INTERNETS!!!
(This is Catherine Bell of JAG, who keeps Jeffy coming back for military courtroom drama with her Farsi skills.

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