MIKE LEACH: PIRATE SCHOOL IS REAL
by Orson on Nov 7, 2006 3:30 PM EST
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PrintMike Leach, history is calling you. Your critics are still bugging you, you're still pissing people off with your pithy genius attack, and you've already got your legendary media profile par excellence. Hell, you even got to do the weather forecast in Lubbock, and they don't let just anyone man the blue screen there. What are you going to do with the rest of your life besides go 8-4, spin assistants into plum jobs, and continue the weird bit of solo performance art you call a career?
We know. Because we know your deepest desires. Partially because of our god-given clairvoyance, but also because it was in the New York Times Magazine:
As his team raced onto the field, he gazed into the stands filled with screaming fans and wondered about the several thousand "cadets" from Texas A.&M. clustered in one end zone. They wear military uniforms and buzz cuts, holler in unison and stand at attention the entire game. "How come they get to pretend they are soldiers?" he asked. "The thing is, they aren't actually in the military. I ought to have Mike's Pirate School. The freshmen, all they get is the bandanna. When you're a senior, you get the sword and skull and crossbones. For homework, we'll work pirate maneuvers and stuff like that."
Mike Leach, destiny has answered your prayers: pirate school is real.
For Mike's sake, though, let's hope they leave out the sodomy. (Our readers scream: "But that's the best part!!!" Yes, and that's why you're here.) If they don't, though, and you end up on the scabbard side of the dagger, at least you'd discover how the Sam Houston States of the world feel when they stumble into Lubbock.
Pirate School: yours for the taking, Cap'n Leach. Yarr.
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This guy is way the hell off base….but I like that about him. He reminds me of the old guy that still works at blockbuster.
by Peace w/o the barn on Nov 7, 2006 3:41 PM EST reply actions
So if Leach’s pirates ever win in Austin, does that mean they get to rape, kill, pillage, and burn?
by Rusty on Nov 7, 2006 3:53 PM EST reply actions
With Captain Leach now into vikings, the reality show could be two boats, Vikings vs. Pirates!
by Tommy Gee on Nov 7, 2006 4:23 PM EST reply actions
#5
That pretty much sounds like a tOSU/Michigan game in Columbus.
by oc phil on Nov 7, 2006 4:25 PM EST reply actions
Vikings versus Pirates…Fred Smoot gets the twin-headed dildo, right?
by Orson Swindle on Nov 7, 2006 4:26 PM EST reply actions
Why is he wondering if they can pretend to be soldiers?
No one questions him pretending to be a Div 1 football coach.
Live and let live I say.
Go RU.
by RaritanSam on Nov 7, 2006 4:31 PM EST reply actions
A little thing like losing never stopped Tech fans from pillage and destruction. Gotta love that rebellious spirit. During the UT-TT game, the commentators mentioned that Tech has a horse statue on campus whose hind end points toward College Station.
by Orangeblood on Nov 7, 2006 4:32 PM EST reply actions
Thank god I clicked on the “Pirate Party Directory” link- now I know where to find a woodchest and some fake gold bullion to celebrate the Red Raiders pounding of Indiana in the Insight Bowl.
by Halleck T. on Nov 7, 2006 4:39 PM EST reply actions
I’ll never get over that Leach quote questioning TAMU’s fake-ass military steez. I’ve often wondered the same thing.
by Doug on Nov 7, 2006 5:29 PM EST reply actions
Big 12 Roundup
BCS computer leaves Brown seeking the human touch
[Sports Illustrated title for story on BCS rankings from that ol vote fixer Mack Brown.]
HOUSTON (AP) — Texas coach Mack Brown is puzzled by the Bowl Championship Series computer rankings……
Boys. We need you run with this title and spin off a blurb on Mack the Knife and “the human touch”. I prefer the “cheeseburgers” term myself.
by Leacheorous on Nov 7, 2006 5:43 PM EST reply actions
wondered about the several thousand "cadets" from Texas A.&M.
Did anyone else see the A&M game last weekend. They cut to a ‘cadet’ making out with his girlfriend at least twice, and the first thing that came to my mind was that gay clip that made its way to the internet a couple weeks ago.
by j.j. on Nov 7, 2006 6:29 PM EST reply actions
He did manage to blow out a top 10 Cal not so long ago.
by KongHorn on Nov 7, 2006 6:36 PM EST reply actions
What I don’t get is they have a female Zorro riding around on a horse, while the human-stuffed mascot looks like Yosemite Sam.
by Orangeblood on Nov 7, 2006 6:42 PM EST reply actions
Fake soliders. Fake traditions. Fake football program. Gig ’em, Aggies.
Arrrrggggh!
by milevin on Nov 7, 2006 7:51 PM EST reply actions
My favorite quote from that article:
“By rights they should be Red Raider slaves”
Indeed. Yarrr.
by Raider Red on Nov 7, 2006 11:32 PM EST reply actions
They should work out a sponsorship deal with Long John Silver’s…
Yarrr, genius.
by grits-n-gravy on Nov 8, 2006 10:31 AM EST reply actions
Coach Leach is what is great about college football: A crazy offensive attack with a fun outlook on the game.
by Sean Fitzgerald on Nov 8, 2006 10:51 AM EST reply actions
with all due respect to graham terrell, it’s too bad colt brennan couldn’t have gone to TT where he would no doubt have thrown approximately 4,000,000 TD passes, although the Red Raiders would probably still be 6-4. I hope they combine with the Sooners to score a 100 points cause that would be hella fun to watch. Mike Leach rules.
by rolliefingersmustache on Nov 8, 2006 12:12 PM EST reply actions
Hey Milevin,
They beat your Aggie asses, didn’t they?
At least our coach played some football (high school) where Coach Franny didn’t.
Go Tech!
by redraiderdude on Dec 2, 2006 10:36 PM EST reply actions
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