Kyle Wright unfortunately will miss Miami’s next game against Maryland. Which will be magical. And special. Like all Miami football games. Especially the ones with 41K in the stands for a conference game.

Wright’s injury is to the bone on the inside of his right thumb. He totally didn’t break it slamming it in a drawer, or having a teammate pound on it with the butt of his Glock. He most definitely didn’t injure it in an attack at the hands of an enraged and…especially alert and enthusiastic Michael Irvin, who did not attempt to bite off Kyle’s hand after the VT game.

“You’re terrible, son! Just terrible! Playmaker gonna make a roster move all by himself here…Give me that hand reearrrrrgghhhhhAIIIIIGGGHHH…WE READY! WE READY!”

But as with any place that when spelled backwards reads “I MAIM,” you don’t have to make anything up. Here’s audio of Kyle Wright’s dad, for example, getting into a shouting match with Miami fans displeased with his son’s performance. (HT:Eye on the U.) Florida: the state of nature! Like the one Hobbes wrote about, not the cuddly type that doesn’t bite or shoot you for crack money.


Welcome to Miami! Your time here will be nasty, brutish, and short.