KYLE WRIGHT TO MISS MAGICAL MIAMI FOOTBALL. WEEPING TO COME.

by Orson on Nov 7, 2006 5:40 PM EST

Kyle Wright unfortunately will miss Miami's next game against Maryland. Which will be magical. And special. Like all Miami football games. Especially the ones with 41K in the stands for a conference game.

Wright's injury is to the bone on the inside of his right thumb. He totally didn't break it slamming it in a drawer, or having a teammate pound on it with the butt of his Glock. He most definitely didn't injure it in an attack at the hands of an enraged and...especially alert and enthusiastic Michael Irvin, who did not attempt to bite off Kyle's hand after the VT game.

"You're terrible, son! Just terrible! Playmaker gonna make a roster move all by himself here...Give me that hand reearrrrrgghhhhhAIIIIIGGGHHH...WE READY! WE READY!"

But as with any place that when spelled backwards reads "I MAIM," you don't have to make anything up. Here's audio of Kyle Wright's dad, for example, getting into a shouting match with Miami fans displeased with his son's performance. (HT:Eye on the U.) Florida: the state of nature! Like the one Hobbes wrote about, not the cuddly type that doesn't bite or shoot you for crack money.

Welcome to Miami! Your time here will be nasty, brutish, and short.

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Comments

Is that Jimmy Johnson under that bonfire?

by Leacheorous on Nov 7, 2006 5:47 PM EST reply actions

I think that is his hair under one of the boots. The stay away from open flame is a warning that I heed when using certain salon styling products.

by Schnitzengruben on Nov 7, 2006 6:00 PM EST reply actions

Is there not a missing “poor” in there somewhere.

I remember the lawyers for the Harvard Lampoon being “Nastie, Bruetich, Poore and Short LLP”

by L..D on Nov 7, 2006 6:47 PM EST reply actions

Even though he’s from a snooty rich bitch East Bay community, I’ll side with the pops. It must be tough to deal with that.

by SeaTrojan on Nov 7, 2006 9:13 PM EST reply actions

Brian Pata, Miami DL, has been shot to death.

R.I.P.

by NewAZTiger on Nov 7, 2006 10:17 PM EST reply actions

Yes! I get to actually use my expertise…

Ahem, from Leviathan, I.13:
“In such condition, there is no place for Industry; becuase the fruit thereof is uncertain: and consequently no Culture of the Earth; no Navigation, nor use of the commodities that may be imported by Sea; no commodious Building; no Instruments of Moving, and removing such things as require much force; no Knowledge of the face of the Earth; no account of Time; no Arts; no Letters; no Society; and which is worst of all, continuall feare, and danger of violent death; And the life of man, solitary, poore, nasty, brutish and short.”

No arts, no letters, no society…sounds about like Miami. ;)
(I kid…kind of)

/I wish I had a dime for every undergrad who told me that men were solitary, poor, nasty, brutish and short…

by ACC_Expat on Nov 7, 2006 10:19 PM EST reply actions