BOATENG STABBED BY GIRLFRIEND

by Stranko on Nov 7, 2006 7:40 AM EST

The flashy, but as yet unproductive, Florida wide receiver Nyan Boateng was stabbed in the leg by his girlfriend. Luckily it was a small knife and appears to be just a flesh wound. Perhaps Boateng will learn his lesson that he shouldn't take relationship advice from Avery Atkins.

Boateng should recover as it was only a flesh wound.

Orson's take:

Nyan Boateng--whose prior claim to fame as a Florida Gator involved claiming to run a 4.0 forty yard dash--wasn't fast enough to dodge a knife held by a woman on Sunday.

While we wish Boateng speedy healing, we would like to encourage them to overcome their differences as people and seriously consider a relationship. It's not often you find someone on this cold orb who really cares about you, much less loves you; and as Colonel Swindle once said, "A gun is just business; but if someone stabs you, that's passion there." We at EDSBS hope the two take those words to heart.

Nyan Boateng (on left): let love plant a tree...in your heart.

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Comments

Maybe the girlfriend wanted Boateng’s job as the starting punter.

by Doug on Nov 7, 2006 7:48 AM EST reply actions

What? He’s from Brooklyn?
Did Donovan recruit this kid?
I didn’t know people in Brooklyn played footbaw.

by OmarBradley on Nov 7, 2006 7:53 AM EST reply actions

We are now the Knights Who Say ‘Ecky- ecky- ecky- ecky- pikang- zoop- boing- goodem- zoo- owli- zhiv’

by gamecocktony on Nov 7, 2006 8:13 AM EST reply actions

Is that a shot from UF’s gravedigging class?

One of the benefits of the mortuary sciences major is meeting many of the footbaw players.

by OmarBradley on Nov 7, 2006 8:15 AM EST reply actions

Boateng played bball with Sebastian Telfair…
not sure Billy could do anything with that…

by A.G. on Nov 7, 2006 8:19 AM EST reply actions

Hey, at least Boateng didn’t pull a Telfair and make a phone call to some people I may or may not know rather than report it to the police.

by italiangator on Nov 7, 2006 8:30 AM EST reply actions

Is it wrong that when I saw this article, my first thought was “at least it’s not someone who matters” ?

by Rob G on Nov 7, 2006 9:15 AM EST reply actions

what are ya gonna do—bleed on me??

by Tommy O on Nov 7, 2006 9:18 AM EST reply actions

"A gun is just business; but if someone stabs you, that’s passion there."

That just became my new Myspace quote!!! Oh … wait… I shouldn’t publicly mention that I have a myspace page? uh… my bad…

by Dave K. on Nov 7, 2006 9:30 AM EST reply actions

So will the stabbing of the leg hamper his "self-proclaimed 4.0 sec. 40-yd dash? Maybe now he’ll be a self-procliamed 4.3. Or, perhaps he’ll come back bigger, badder, and stronger, and obliterate the 4.0 with a blazing 3.95?

by Aerobab on Nov 7, 2006 9:41 AM EST reply actions

You would have to have a rocket up your ass to run a 4.0 forty time. He probably lied to his girl about the length of his member. If he lies about the 40 time I am sure he lies about his 20 inch dong. That could get a stabbing reaction from a hoe.

by Odell 51 on Nov 7, 2006 10:54 AM EST reply actions

She aint no ho…you’d better watch your leg, Odell

by Aerobab on Nov 7, 2006 12:28 PM EST reply actions

Ni!!!!!

by j.j. on Nov 7, 2006 5:50 PM EST reply actions

Florida wide receiver fails to outrun his knife-wielding girlfriend. No wonder they almost lost to Vanderbilt.

-this message brought to you by Fark.com

by Ankf00 on Nov 7, 2006 5:52 PM EST reply actions

“I’m invincible!”
“You’re a looney.”
“The Black Knight always triumphs! Have at you! Come on then. (WHACK!) Oh? All right, we’ll call it a draw.”

by MiseanAUFan on Nov 7, 2006 8:06 PM EST reply actions

Orson,
You’re really gonna regret ever mentioning Python on here. There are way too many nerds out there. (see #3, #13, #15, and several from the previous few days)

by j.j. on Nov 7, 2006 9:42 PM EST reply actions