WE MUST IGNITE THIS COUCH! NO, REALLY.

Wow.
If I had picked a campus in severe need of antibiotics, Clemson would’ve been my obvious first choice.

I would have gone with USC due to the high volume of skanks.

to clarify: USC (West Campus)

They should just take the UF infirmary approach. Pregnancy tests for every visitor, male or female. It seems to keep our campus running just fine.

I knew a girl when I was at Carolina who picked up a yeast infection (or some such thing) from fooling around on a nasty couch.

Just goes to show — if you’re going to get down, wrap up your couch.

Hack,

It was more of a love seat and she swore she’d never tell, damnit.

Go Cocks.

Pretty soon it’ll be “Tree is about to die…”

Am I crazy for thinking that they should just throw the damn thing away?

I got gonorrhea from riding a tractor once =(

I’m thinking that it’s time to get out grandma’s plastic furniture protectors -

And, ew – on his face?

So much for the brain trust at the Vanderbilt of the west. I mean, I know SC only has 1 Nobel prize winner but at least they send someone around the locker room with some Lysol…

I would have gone with USC due to the high volume of skanks.

I’ve seen your student section on t.v., don’t take it out on us.

to clarify: USC (West Campus)

Very droll.

STANFORD A 3 POINT UNDERDOG TO STAPHYLOCOCCUS

That headline reminds me of a sign that some students at Notre Dame hung outside their dorm room window on a quiet fall Saturday during the lean years under Davieham:

“BYE 27 Irish 0”

Maybe it was caused by leftover germs from their former placekicker, Eric Abrams.

#8

Methinks as much, too.

STAPHYLOCOCCUS BOWL

Stanford team couch -3.5 over Wisconsin Band bus seat

lumpy….i had heard the uw band committed unspeakable acts but never saw any details…do you have any links?

And I thought Stanford was supposed to be where the “smart” people go. If the couch is spreading infections, don’t teach the players when to sit on it. Throw that shit out.

Note to the Trojans: Do NOT sit on the couch in the locker room this weekend. That is all.

PSU Rob:

Taking a cheap shot at the USC Trojans? When the male chickens of South Carolina actually do something, they may attempt to fight for the “USC” gold standard initials.

But, for now, getting lip from someone from PSU, especially about women, is as ridiculous as hearing that Louisville should be in the bs-BCS championship game.

Persistent Infections Dept:

Forget the couch as the root of the problem…

The Stanford football players have been doing each other in the locker room, and getting all sorts of gnarly infections.

Re: Comment #17… Not only “smart” people but some pretty rich people went there. Don’t you think Tiger Woods or the Google guys could spring for a new couch? Heck, with that kind of money they could buy the whole matching set from Rooms to Go.

I got gonorrhea from riding a tractor once =(

Once again, EDSBS reaches a new level of disturbing, incredibly hilarious imagery.

bitterhorn,
I think you missed a Seinfeld reference.

Pretty soon it’ll be "Tree is about to die…"

Actually, I think the couch must have done it in during the offseason: Leland B. Stanford JUNIOR University has a new mascot and it’s a twirling PALM tree……at least until they fire up the chainsaw sound effects at Oregon State next week.

“I would have gone with USC due to the high volume of skanks.”

This quote is obviously from someone who has never set foot on the USC campus but I understand the jealousy. The Beach Boys had it right: “I wish they all could be California girls.”

HATE HATE HATE. all you haters are hating so hard. And with such originality! Solid jokes about the couch. As we know, our respective football teams really represent our student bodies well. For example, USC students are all dumb professional athletes who don’t graduate. And Kal students are all junior college transfer students who put up a whopping 18% grad rate, but they sure can toss the pigskin. Oh, and USC guy – there are lots of schools in california. You don’t have the monopoly on hot blonde girls – only dumb blonde girls.