PERUSING THE BLIND SIDE: NICK SABAN KNOWS HIS WINDOW TREATMENTS

by Orson on Nov 2, 2006 11:42 AM EST

Perusing Michael Lewis' The Blind Side at the moment, and we're pleasantly surprised at the amount of quality college football content in a book about the evolution of the left tackle position. The best bits focus on coaches and recruiting pitches, which go about like you think they would, especially when you consider that they were all recruiting Michael Oher, who is referred to as "a freak of nature" by nearly everyone who sees him in the book. (Oher is now at Ole Miss.)

To wit:

--Oher's recruited by everyone, but the three finalists are LSU, Ole Miss, and Tennessee.

--Phil Fulmer is pictured running at one point in 100 degree heat. That he did not die while doing this is perhaps the greatest triumph depicted in the book.

50 yards across the parking lot: truly a triumph.

--Fulmer's recruiting pitch seemed to consist of the coach and his staff squatting in Oher's home and ignoring the women until the men feel like talking. His cromag manners and approach earn him scorn from the women in the book, who alternately refer to him as "a hick" and as someone who looks like he was dressed by his mother.

This pleases us way more than it should.

--Nick Saban, though, is on full recruiting terror alert in the book though only in the most gangsta way possible. Saban rolls into the house wearing Armani and looking like he's been dipped in lip gloss ("I think Nick Saban is a very attractive man," beams one of the women.) Before getting down to football, he even comments postively and knowledgeably on the decor of the house. Considering that Michael's adopted mother is an interior designer in Memphis, the comment "I love those window treatments" must have been sweet music to her soul.

The man was obviously a ruthless recruiting ninja.

--Saban, however, immediately torpedoes all ninja cred by leaving for Miami shortly afterward.

--A scary recruiting trip to Baton Rouge didn't help: Oher, when asked about it, responds with "Mama, that's a bad place down there." We see dead hookers.

--The best bits are the the Orgeron's appearances, mostly because Lewis writes his dialogue in Orgeron speak. "You're a big boy" is rendered as "YAW BEE BAW." Which is about right, actually, though our favorite bit of Orgeronspeak is "let them stay," said in response to Oher's question about recruits promised schollys by former coach David Cutcliffe: "LEMSDAY!"

It's officially our new favorite day of the week: Lemsday.

Even if the Orgeron finishes the next two years with a losing record...LEMSDAY! We need the material.

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Actually, I believe Coach O’s exact words were, “YawyawyawyawYAWWWWyaw, YAWWWWyaw, lefttackle.” Now, granted, I only heard this secondhand from a friend of mine who knows the Ohers.

by Doug on Nov 2, 2006 11:53 AM EST reply actions

“Coach Orgeron was a fine coach Sunday through Lemsday, but we were just not satisfied with the trajectory of the Ole Miss footbaw program.”

by irishoutsider on Nov 2, 2006 11:57 AM EST reply actions

that was funny, Irishoutsider. I now need to wipe the Fresca off of my keyboard and monitor.

by AllWhoYonder on Nov 2, 2006 12:13 PM EST reply actions

The Orgeron loves The Song.

http://www.commercialappeal.com/mca/football/article/0,1426,MCA_478_5112107,00.html

by YawYawYaw on Nov 2, 2006 12:20 PM EST reply actions

Get this: the Orgeron reportedly likes the Coach O Song. Alas, the reporter quotes O using standard English spelling (as the AP style guide dictates).

by Chris Lawrence on Nov 2, 2006 12:24 PM EST reply actions

I just finished th book myself: Saban is a smooth criminal/mack daddy, Fulmer is a bumbling socially inept one, and Orgeron is not even human, he is the title character from that long forgotten cartoon Cro.

by MP on Nov 2, 2006 12:25 PM EST reply actions

A better text that talks about recruiting 20 years ago is “The Courting of Marcus Dupree” by Willie Morris. He also wrote “My Dog Skip”. One night Willie was a little looped inside The Warehouse and spilled some of the beans. He intimated that Marcus really had wanted to go to Ole Miss, but Steve Sloan got out of the bidding too early.

I wonder how long Logan Young stayed in?

Who’s your papa?

by Southern Papa on Nov 2, 2006 12:32 PM EST reply actions

Somewhat disappointed that story failed to mention everyone’s favorite college footbaw blog, which surely helped in spreading the Orgeron song.

by Dave on Nov 2, 2006 12:37 PM EST reply actions

Oh yeah, and I bet Nick Saban watches Project Runway too.

by Dave on Nov 2, 2006 12:38 PM EST reply actions

I’ll have the university send you guys a bill for the new keyboard (actually, screw that, this keyboard sucked anyways)

by italiangator on Nov 2, 2006 12:59 PM EST reply actions

From the OleMiss bio of Oher:

PERSONAL: Son of Denise Oher and Sean and Leigh Anne Tuohy … Full name is Michael Jerome Oher … Born: May 28, 1986.

Don’t think I’ve ever seen three parents like that before…

by Tidbit on Nov 2, 2006 2:21 PM EST reply actions

Well, he ain’t called “freak of nature” just cuz of his football ability.

by Dave on Nov 2, 2006 2:55 PM EST reply actions

good book, easy read it took 3 days to go through it. a good story too, i recommend it to anyone who likes footbaw.

dunno about his decision to attend ole miss though, but, who am i to judge?

by mfdoom on Nov 2, 2006 3:00 PM EST reply actions

“I’ve never seen so many dead hookers in all my life!”
“Lord knows I have.”

I like the part of the book when the coaches first get a glimpse at Oher’s football skills and Brad Scott, recruiting for Clemson, just hands the coach his card and extends the kid a scholarship right of the bat and turns around and goes home, all within 5 minutes of seeing the giant football golem do his bidness.

by Chili on Nov 2, 2006 3:20 PM EST reply actions

Again, why Ole Miss?

Even [triceps redacted] would have had a hard time selling that one.

by J-skool on Nov 2, 2006 5:04 PM EST reply actions

“His cromag manners and approach earn him scorn from the women in the book, who alternately refer to him as "a hick" and as someone who looks like he was dressed by his mother.”

And I thought Fulmer was supposed to be a great recruiter? Wonder how he gets players to go to Knoxville?

by irishjihad on Nov 2, 2006 6:09 PM EST reply actions

If there’s no other explanation, the answer is probably MONEY !

by rocket screen on Nov 2, 2006 7:33 PM EST reply actions

Again, Ignorance flows forth in these comments when it comes to Ole Miss.

Why Ole Miss? Not Money…More so his adopted Dad was a basketball player at Ole Miss and Ole Miss is an hour from Memphis.

Ole Miss pulls alot of players from the Memphis Metro.

Orgeron’s a great recruiter (2 time rivals recruiter of the year) and he pretty much offered Oher’s high school coach a position on his staff (TE coach and Offensive guru), Coach Freeze has turned out to be invaluable, not only in recruiting but in coaching as well. (kinda like Mustain’s head coach, Malzahn) Yeah, it helps in his recruitment, but O wouldn’t have hired him if he was a dipshit.

by Erik on Nov 3, 2006 10:01 AM EST reply actions

Seriously I didn’t want to say it, but Fulmer is painted as such a bumbling retard, I immediately thought about money when wondering how Tennessee recruits so well.

by MP on Nov 3, 2006 11:48 AM EST reply actions

Michael Oher was flunking out of school as a freshman at Westwood. Sean Tuohy was a former Ole miss point guard and does Memphis Grizzlies radio work. He took Oher out of the projects and into Memphis Briarcrest, a private school. That’s why Oher ended up at Ole Miss. So did his HS coach.

by Jeff on Jan 4, 2007 12:24 AM EST reply actions

This was a great book and to me all Saban does is lie ex. saying he wont go to bama and then goin and sayin he wont go to the dolphins then goin…but one of my favorite parts of the book was when SJ kept asking what was in it for him

by Brandon on Feb 9, 2007 11:25 PM EST reply actions