Mancrush unabated, we present still more reason why everyone except Martrez Milner Kenneth Harris loves Reggie Nelson.
Cheap shot? Fair hit? Deserve’s got nothin’ to do with it.
Any men don’t wanna get killed better clear on out the back.
This week’s Blogpoll Ballot Draft, Halloween edition is submitted below for perusal. Pay little attention to the arrows, since they reflect moves made after a couple of save and edits. (To view last week’s ugly effort, click here.)
Questions and comments follow. Click on the jump…if you dare…
The horrors of our blogpoll ballot are just around the corner, mortal.
We can’t decide where we stand on the suspension of Brian Kinchen for using the word “gay” to describe his tender commentary about proper pass-catching technique. (One sentence into this, and we’re already stumbling into double and triple-entendre. Call us the Chris Rix of metaphorical confusion, ’cause we’ll keep throwing into it all day.)
Kinchen’s own words–lost to the bastards who took down the YouTube video–were that in order to be a good receiver, one had to be “tender” and “caress” the football. Then Kinchen, after a thoughtful moment, proclaimed his own description to be “kinda gay.”
The suspension results not from Kinchen broaching the g-word on a broadcast, but in its usage here: gay, as referring to homosexuals in the operant sense, not in the “1926 picnic with some bathtub gin” sense. We know why Kinchen got the suspension–because you no touch the g-word in sport on air, even if the use was somewhat accurate–but we question the meaning of Kinchen’s particular usage. We heard the clip pre-memoryholeage (again, entendres abound,) and Kinchen was right: few men other than gay men would have used those terms to describe the act of catching a football. Kinchen was, essentially, making fun of himself for being a straight guy using verbiage very much not his own.
Would it have been equally kerfufflish if, say, Tim Gunn had described a particular outfit on Project Runway as “a slam dunk?” It’s something only a straight guy would say, sure, but the hypersensitivity seems unwarranted here. We’re not even talking fourth-grade gay like wearing generic brand Jams shorts or anything; we’re talking about referring to something offhandedly as gay or straight, something that’s been pretty well hammered into the popular consciousness over the past decade.
(Plus: the whole thing happened on ESPNU anyway. You’d think they’d be openly popping bottles on air and shooting a gagged and bound Colin Cowherd with paintball guns to get people watching over there, much less freaking out about a guy using the word ‘gay’ on air.)
You might say it’s like putting on your favorite Vera Wang gown to go tchochke shopping at the Crate and Barrel. That’s kind of gay to say. Or is it?
Keep it gay, Brian Kinchen.
The most terrifying bits of absolutely evil but necessary information that will haunt you for the rest of the late morning/early afternoon. Call a priest…if you dare.
–Charlie Weis manages to be completely horrifying, even in a puff piece on 60 Minutes. Follow linkage to listen to Weis as he’s possessed by spirits, spits malignant incantations on inept underlings, and works black magic on the sidelines in his attempt to reanimate the corpse of Notre Dame football. It’s aliiiiiive!!!
I send the players on the field! That’s my job.
–The tasty meat of Big Ten deep threat and its dark secret returns to your football plate sooner than expected: Mario Manningham to return. His dark secret? HE’S MADE OF PEOPLE!!! PEOPLE I TELL YOU…
–Another person gets drunk and dies at the Cocktail Party, bringing the grand, bloody total of the menace posed by the game to…three people over the past three years, meaning that the scourge of lightning still poses a greater danger to the combined student bodies of UGA and UF than drinking at the cocktail party. What are you doing to protect the student body against the scourge of lightning, Michael Adams? Huh?
–Rich Rodriguez kind of sort of is everyone’s boyfriend right now. UNC wants him, FSU wants him, Miami’s batting eyelashes, he’s not exactly turning the whole idea down. A murderous backwoods betrayal lurks if he really is thinking of leaving his alma mater! Where you goin’ city boy?
You ain’t leaving West Virginia, boy.
–Bruins Nation may be overshooting on their short list for coaches, but hey, you gotta dream, right? Unless a murderous, finger-bladed madman is stalking your dreams, that is…
–Urban stumps for Florida, since that’s what you have to do when there’s no playoff or fair way of comparing teams at the end of the season…unless you count the many armed beast who cannot be named who you may call the BCS…Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn…
–Speaking of monstrous tentacles…that’s some gnarly math you got there. (Cue math geek saying “that’s not so bad” in 3…2…1…)
–The spectre of the On Notice Board returns! Once your name is written on it, you will die in 24 hours unless you spread the curse to someone else by creating your own!*
Settle down. That curse is an extremely flexible one.
–San Diego State suffers the Curse Of the Former Bob Stoops Assistant As Your Head Coach! This only confirms that he is the Daywalker, and will suck your talent dry before tossing you to a struggling program to flail.
–The undead rise! They need no sleep, or people skills, actually.
–A Rutgers blog? And a Baylor one too that compares A&M to North Korea? Shocking monsters on this internet, indeed! Information beasts…truly the food of the gods…
This one’s for you, TCOAN.
*Margin of error=+/- 100 years.
As the saying goes: “Don’t go negative first, but when it happens, go hard.” These guys must have had this one in the can, because the Big East has responded to the SEC’s attack ad with a smear campaign of their own.
To quote the venerable Admiral Josh Painter:”This business will get out of control. It will get out of control and we’ll be lucky to live through it.”
Any holiday that comes during football season, and which involves candy and sexy costumes is alright with us.Â
 
Throw in the mix the opportunity to show your school spirit with a pumpkin, and it is hard to beat.Â
(HT: D. Brown)
With USC finally going down for the Beavers this weekend, the BCS race gets wide open and nasty. The human element means significant politicking will be necessary, and the black ops men on both sides of the equation have already begun spinning the conference propaganda their way.
Shockingly, the SEC has entered the fray first, targeting the Big East in a vicious attack ad. We’re appalled. By the time Mack Brown enters the fray, the discourse of American college football will hit previously unseen lows.
Orson Swindle and Stranko Montana are two men pushing thirty who should know better than to run a college football blog, but evidently don't. Both graduated from the University of Florida, and both agree that college football is far too important to be left to the professionals.
Comments? Questions? Long strings of profanities directed at something we said? Please send your comments to harumphharumph -a- yahoo -dot- com. Please direct all tailgating photos and stories to edsbsfans -a- gmail -dot- com.
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