SMOKEY: DOES YOUR DOG BITE?

by Orson on Oct 26, 2006 12:00 PM EDT

Smokey the dog is a bluetick hound who doubles as a totem/mascot for the Tennessee Volunteers. Despite being a minion of our MHT (Most Hated Team--the EDSBS congress votes on it every February. And the votes are soooo rigged. Florida-educated here, remember), we get the urge to feed that dog chicken livers and beer every time we see him. He just looks so damn happy to be there, unlike UGA, who appears to be within a few quick steps of collapsing from heat stroke at all times.

Anyway, Smokey may have bitten an Alabama player who landed on top of the dog before last Saturday's game. (HT: TCOAN.) We can't blame him for that, since dogs do that when you appear from nowhere and jump on top of them. There's some joke in here about Smokey having sharper teeth than the Alabama offense, but a funnier note must be included here:

The seventh Smokey was replaced by Smokey VIII, who stepped down in 2003 after he was diagnosed with a nasal tumor. He survived the cancer but died in March from high blood pressure and kidney disease.

Just like most of his fanbase. Damn that tasty country ham! It's the killer in your skillet, Joe Public! Rest assured, Alabama fans: we're sure that someone will find a way to do what Alabama fans have been doing for years. Which is sue someone over this.

Give that dog some beta blockers and a milkbone.

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Comments

that’s not my dog

by scal on Oct 26, 2006 12:29 PM EDT reply actions

Imagine if it was a horned frog he landed on.

by Orangeblood on Oct 26, 2006 12:34 PM EDT reply actions

Where’s my HT:?

by The Conscience of a Nation on Oct 26, 2006 12:37 PM EDT reply actions

its too bad the dog didn’t tear shula’s balls off…oh that’s right, little mikey shula has no balls

by matt on Oct 26, 2006 12:37 PM EDT reply actions

Somewhere, there was an “On Top of Old Smokey” gag missed.

by DC Domer on Oct 26, 2006 12:38 PM EDT reply actions

This just sounds right for the AJC to post another headline. Something to the tune of “Smokey bites while UGA rolls over and exposes soft underbelly.”

Of course, the Governor would complain about the biased media, blah blah blah.

by Geaux Irish on Oct 26, 2006 12:41 PM EDT reply actions

No, Dave Rader has no balls. Which inspires an SAT question.

Mike Shula : Dave Rader

George W. Bush : ?

a) Mark Foley
b) George H.W. Bush
c) Donald Rumsfeld
d) The Global War on Terror

Remember to completely fill in your bubble.

by Newspaper Hack on Oct 26, 2006 12:41 PM EDT reply actions

Smokey bit a Bama player
UGA tried to a Auburn player a few years back (I think it was Robert Baker, and if that is correct UGA must double as a drug detecting dog)
And of course last but not least, on Miami Vice Crockett owned a gator that took a bite out of some opponent of Florida.

by TideInTx on Oct 26, 2006 12:52 PM EDT reply actions

I disagree Hack.
Dave Rader doesn’t exist; he is a shell corporation created by Shula Steakhouses, Inc. to take some of the heat off Mike because on the ineptness of the Alabama offense.
The Dave Rader off-shore subsidies are NCAA Scholarship Limitations, LLP, Phil Fulmer Conspiracy, PC, and Moral Victories, LLC.

by AUAlum on Oct 26, 2006 1:14 PM EDT reply actions

AuAlum, don’t forget Coach Fran Can’t Recruit, Inc.

by BamaCPA on Oct 26, 2006 1:47 PM EDT reply actions

Smokey lunged and snapped at Ryan Brewer after he scored a touchdown a few years ago. It was funny because he had just juked into the endzone and then had to juke to avoid Smokey’s teeth.

God I hope we beat them Saturday.

by random thoughts boy on Oct 26, 2006 3:05 PM EDT reply actions

“The seventh Smokey was replaced by Smokey VIII, who stepped down in 2003 after he was diagnosed with a nasal tumor. He survived the cancer but died in March from high blood pressure and kidney disease.”

The dog was on some mean blow.

by Cool Hand Mike on Oct 26, 2006 3:30 PM EDT reply actions

Nuttin wrong with that fleabag that a .45 to the head wouldn’t fix.

Dewar’s,

PD’sL

by Pat Dye's Liver on Oct 26, 2006 3:55 PM EDT reply actions

Auburn may have moral victories, but Alabama doesn’t.

The Tide has utterly soul-crushing losses.

by Newspaper Hack on Oct 26, 2006 4:06 PM EDT reply actions

“Well Eli, Smokey just came out of the tunnel, and he’s about 100 yards away from me now, and if I had my deer rifle I believe I could drop him, back to you Eli”

— Jerry Duncan’s comments to Eli Gold just prior to kickoff against Tennessee.

by Cool Hand Mike on Oct 26, 2006 4:18 PM EDT reply actions

Hack, you mean The War Against Terror (or TWAT if you’re into the whole brevity thing)

by italiangator on Oct 26, 2006 4:46 PM EDT reply actions

Dave Rader and Mike work together on play calling.
Rader picks 3 or 4 he likes and Mikey makes the final choice based on some coded algorithm hidden in the arrangement of links in his gold chain.

by Kecalf Bailey on Oct 26, 2006 7:00 PM EDT reply actions

Charlie Daniels approved this message, but accuses you of sort of stealing his material. Touche, Smokey. Granny owns your ass. No, child, no.

by Dinknflicka on Oct 27, 2006 2:57 AM EDT reply actions

Smokey got some shots & he’ll be fine. The Vols staff were scared ol’ Smokey might’ve caught something like stupidity when he defended himself against that bama bum! God bless Smokey!

by Vols Rule on Oct 29, 2006 2:56 AM EDT reply actions