VOTE FOR ANNA, WHO HAS CONFIDENCE.
While Georgia Sports would like you to support their overmade cheeleader--"She is a Chechnyan prostitute and you will refer to her as such."--we would like to point you in the underdog's direction and ask that in the great race known as the Athlon Sideline Spirit contest, you support Anna, the University of Florida's representative in round three.
Anna, who's a bit down in the chips with just under ten thousand votes, not only needs your support-nay! She deserves it. We pitch to thee these reasons three why you should vote for Florida's lighter-than-a-feather sideline tossing dwarf.
1. She's got outstanding pudendal confidence. Nothing's more important to a cheerleader than the belief that those who encounter near-eye level exposure to everything between the anatomical tropics will come away unoffended, perhaps even pleased, and ready to cheer for another crucial down. Clearly, Anna's got Pudendal confidence in spades.

2. She's an accounting major. If that doesn't strike fear into your heart, nothing will. Do you think Liz Southall's going to do anything with that Latin American Studies major besides pick up hot Latinos and sign up for the GRE like, now? Of course not. Anna, on the other hand, could be making six figures while doing handstands on your company's rock solid books thanks to her degree. Spanish teacher or ninja accountant who can buy you a nice dinner: take your pick, reader.
3. Her favorite memory with her squad:"...when the coed boys attacked her squad in an underground tunnel at the South Carolina game last fall." Anna's clearly a berserker who lives only for the thrill of blood and the fury of a good melee. The coed squad lost a lot of good men in the tunnel that day...

I am the Invincible Sword Goddess, armed with the incredible Green Destiny. And a pom-pom.
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Georgia’s chick looks like a less-hot Jo-Dee Messina. And I’m from Macon.
by Wooderson on Oct 25, 2006 10:16 AM EDT reply actions
Yeah. Except that Liz has the ‘come hither’ look down pat. School spirit means being distracted by the cheerleaders even while your team is striving for that game-winning TD, right? I think Liz could do that to me…
by Jackwraith on Oct 25, 2006 10:24 AM EDT reply actions
well, the oregon chick has that come hither pose down pat.
by kleph on Oct 25, 2006 10:32 AM EDT reply actions
Those chicks couldn’t hold Sela Ward’s diaphragm.
by Cool Hand Mike on Oct 25, 2006 10:43 AM EDT reply actions
What is it with the Sun Belt voting block? They won Round 1 and are leading Round 3 (no candidate in Round 2). Is this an organized effort? Fraud? Or an outward sign that there are tens of thousands crazed Sun Belt fans with internet access that never leave the house? This is almost as baffling as Alabama winning 6 or 7 of those Pontiac Game Changing Moments last season, including a couple on a touchback or some other equally benign play.
by HFS on Oct 25, 2006 10:49 AM EDT reply actions
Hey UVa — the 80’s called, and they want their big hair and popped collars back.
by Albino Tornado on Oct 25, 2006 10:50 AM EDT reply actions
Dude, what is wrong with people? The Oregon girl is far and away better looking than the rest. The UVA and USF girls are 2 & 3. The Georgia girl is absolutely horrendous. Awful.
by Lazer on Oct 25, 2006 10:54 AM EDT reply actions
HFS, I think most people are only reading UnBelt.
by NewAZTiger on Oct 25, 2006 10:54 AM EDT reply actions
The Georgia girl kindof looks like that Runaway Bride chick with blonde hair. Must be a UGA thing.
by Cletus McNirtny on Oct 25, 2006 11:08 AM EDT reply actions
The Oregon chick is by far the most gorgeous woman of the bunch. Movie star looks.
The chick currently in first place from No. Texas is not a bad choice, but a definite number 2.
The GA chick….let’s just say that not even I – Harvey Wireman, would hit on that thang….
Florida’s babe is ok, but, it will be hard for her to win, unless there is some sort of way to get the Florida courts to do their chad thing and recount the votes.
by Harvey Wireman on Oct 25, 2006 11:20 AM EDT reply actions
This should be Robert Stack’s next Unsolved Mystery…How does Oregon have such hot cheerleaders? Valorie (how ’bout a spell-check, mom?) is the latest in a long line of tasties cheering for the Ducks
by Raider Red on Oct 25, 2006 11:29 AM EDT reply actions
Note the South Florida cheerleader’s last name.
Note that Mike Price was in Florida when he found the Tide to be Rollin’, Baby, Rollin’.
Hmmm.
by Kenny on Oct 25, 2006 11:48 AM EDT reply actions
Cletus #10,
I was thinking the exact same thing. It’s the racoon eyes. She also has “manbones” in her face. The hands are kind of big in relation to the pom poms – reverse baby arm?
Was she a MALE prostitute in Chechnya? Lookin’ a bit transvestitey.
by SeaTrojan on Oct 25, 2006 12:16 PM EDT reply actions
Pre-emptive strike against later posts,
‘Like any of you guys would kick her out of your bed.’
Actually, most of us have had a Caris from N. Texas in our bed, and we learned our lesson – a few Carises later.
Oregon girl with porn name #1, Gina #2 ( and maybe a winner in a down year), Florida #3
by SeaTrojan on Oct 25, 2006 12:28 PM EDT reply actions
Pre-emptive strike against inevitable, later posts,
‘Like any of you guys would kick any of these girls out of bed.’
Actually, most of us have slept with a Caris from N. Texas and we learned our lesson – a few Carises later.
Oregon girl with porn name #1, Minn. girl #2 (maybe a winner in a down year), Fla. girl #3
by SeaTrojan on Oct 25, 2006 12:35 PM EDT reply actions
Stacey Keibler Jr. Dept.:
Ms. Oregon Cheerleader looks awesome, a bit like Ms. Keibler and would give her the MNC cheerleader of the bunch.
The Italian from Minn is the second best looking one. Best body and face combo.
Florida’s bean counter to be is cute, but cute gets trumped by hmmmm….stiffy making abilities…..
by Stacy Keibler Loves Me on Oct 25, 2006 1:31 PM EDT reply actions
How can you not vote for the Florida girl? She has not one, but two photos with an ankle in her hand. If that is not a come hither look, I’m not sure what is.
by Rex Cramer on Oct 25, 2006 1:31 PM EDT reply actions
Having the good fortune to wind up drinking with most the UF cheerleading squad the night before the Auburn game, I can tell you that none of them can hold their liqour. I don’t know if that’s worth more votes or less.
Speaking of Ms. Valorie Darling (a combination of the name of her first pet with the street she grew up on?), who is your vote for “Most likely to follw that ASU cheerleader into porn”? My pick is Caris from North Texas.
by Yant on Oct 25, 2006 1:41 PM EDT reply actions
But is Anna a “gator getter” and if so, how many have been had?
by keosahawkeye on Oct 25, 2006 1:56 PM EDT reply actions
Those chicks couldn’t hold Sela Ward’s diaphragm.
Sela Ward may still be tasty-looking, but I suspect the diaphragm is an affectation because that river dried up some time ago. She is parked near the corner of Cougar St and GILF Avenue.
by DC Trojan on Oct 25, 2006 2:10 PM EDT reply actions
Piling On Dept.
Those chicks couldn’t hold Sela Ward’s diaphragm?
Sela Ward is 50 years old.
Women that are in the Grandmother age range, especially those that are ’Bama grads, need not be considered for this contest, unless you are into that kind of stuff and are a WIERDO.
by Stacy Keibler Loves Me on Oct 25, 2006 2:31 PM EDT reply actions
She better do porn or else no vote from me! That’s how we roll at A-State, y’all.
by Big Jon on Oct 25, 2006 2:44 PM EDT reply actions
I looked up “pudendal.” Outstanding vocabular euphamismic sleight of hand there. I don’t know if any of those were words, but great work.
by JP on Oct 25, 2006 4:11 PM EDT reply actions
Rex Cramer,
Anna definitely has the best pose. I suppose #2- through whatever could be debated, but Ms. Oregon is hot by any standard.
by SeaTrojan on Oct 25, 2006 6:11 PM EDT reply actions
Ms. Darling, photographed ON HER BACK, gets my vote.
by OhioDawg on Oct 26, 2006 9:26 AM EDT reply actions
“I suspect the diaphragm is an affectation because that river dried up some time ago.”
First off, Wow, that comment ruined my keyboard once I got it.
#2, there’s a reason they make KY, it’s for old people who can’t get it wet themselves.
and I’d give Sela Ward babies if she could still physically have them…which is even better, cause since she can’t you don’t need a rubber.
by Wooderson on Oct 26, 2006 11:58 AM EDT reply actions
and I’d give Sela Ward babies if she could still physically have them…which is even better, cause since she can’t you don’t need a rubber.
Oh, I didn’t say I wouldn’t, I should be so lucky.
by DC Trojan on Oct 26, 2006 4:03 PM EDT reply actions

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