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Around SBN: Jon Jones, Rashad Evans Reignite Rivalry

LOUISIANA (STATE) PURCHASE: ASST. STRENGTH COACH ARRESTED

Louisiana just does real big things, y'all. Big personalities. Big food. Big daquiris. Big hurricanes and bigger tumors from the big chemical plants. You know, just big like former LSU Tiger Booger McFarland big.


Yeah, you right. He big.

If you think your uni can compete with this bigness, though, fuck yo' couch. Louisiana State doesn't just have its players put in positions to illegally contact agents; no, no, no, it has the assistant strength coach putting players in touch with agents prior to graduation. Assistant strength and conditioning coach Travelle Gaines was arrested by LSU police today for violating sports agent laws by inviting players to his house, where aspiring (we're just guessing here) sports agent Charles Taplin was waiting with a tranq dart gun, wearing a purple velvet robe and perched on a pile of cash while unleashing an army of willing curvaceous hookers screaming "LOVE US WE LOVE YOU!" on the helpless recruits.*

Taplin and Gaines both earned arrest for their hand in the scheme, but expect nothing to come out of this NCAA wise. Though Will Collier rightfully points out that this is a clear violation of NCAA standards, LSU police made the arrests, and little points to LSU doing anything but self-reporting an incident of clear abuse by one of its assistant coaches. Tempting as it may be to sound alarm bells and smell the burnt ozone of a program going to the electric chair for its sins, this does not appear to be it.

UPDATE!!! OMG LES MILES WAS TOTALLY GIVING CASH TO RECRUITS HIDDEN IN PET BOA CONSTRICTORS THEY GAVE OUT AS PARTY FAVORS TO RECRUITS!!! MORE DETAILS LATER
GIMME A SIREN WOOOOO!!!
**


This siren is TOTALLY NECESSARY HERE.***

*This may not be true.
**This, also, may not be true, and would be the waste of a perfectly good boa constrictor.
***Um, yeah, ditto for this.

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by Rob on Oct 24, 2006 4:45 PM EDT reply actions  

at least dey dint f*ck with teh basketball team. cause you know coach brady would go denny green on der asses

by S on Oct 24, 2006 4:56 PM EDT reply actions  

wow, Booger McFarland just brightened my day which has been consumed with midterms. Tell me this is his name of his birth certificate.

by Go Blue Jim on Oct 24, 2006 5:54 PM EDT reply actions  

Anthony is his given name, but he’ll always be Booger to us.

by Orson Swindle on Oct 24, 2006 5:56 PM EDT reply actions  

Well, Baton Rouge news just reported that although the officials at LSU are stating that these players did not know that the agent was at the coach’s house, the BR Police Department has reported that the players admitted to them that they met with the agent a SECOND TIME at a local restaurant.

Now, correct me if I’m wrong, but if these players didn’t take anything from the agent, it’s still a violation to meet with him (especially the second time) and thus they should be suspended for the season. If they did accept things, then they can lose all eligability…correct?

And I don’t know if LSU can be held accountable, unless they somehow knew of these meetings and didn’t report them and played said players anyway.

Thoughts?

by RaginCajunRebel on Oct 24, 2006 6:20 PM EDT reply actions  

“Travelle Ernest Gaines, 26, of Port Allen, surrendered to university police and was booked into East Baton Rouge Parish prison, the university said in a statement.”

There’s some kind of “A Lesson Before Dying” joke to be made here, but I can’t make it work. Suggestions?

by Dinknflicka on Oct 24, 2006 6:23 PM EDT reply actions  

As a USC fan, what exactly did LSU do wrong again?
I don’t understand the fuss. Sometimes the best punishment is a pat on the back and a “let’s try to do right next time, fellas.”

I’m all about justice.

by SeaTrojan on Oct 24, 2006 6:37 PM EDT reply actions  

i have 5 words: rohan davey

by S on Oct 24, 2006 6:38 PM EDT reply actions  

Anyone see Weis’ recent bitching about the polls? I especially likes the way he singles out two SEC teams. Here’s the handy link: http://sports.espn.go.com/ncf/news/story?id=2637561

by History_Ant on Oct 24, 2006 7:03 PM EDT reply actions  

This is why the rest of the country sees the SEC as it does, a dirty win at all cost conference devoid of any morals

by MP on Oct 24, 2006 7:07 PM EDT reply actions  

One of the teams [Tennessee] that jumped us had the same game that we had. They’re down, they’re playing at home and they win by a field goal," Weis said Tuesday. “Another team [Florida] that jumped us wasn’t even playing. They were home eating cheeseburgers and they end up jumping us. That befuddles me.”

I would actually pay to watch a video clip of Weis saying the word “befuddled.” It’s got to be hilarious, no way around it.

by RaginCajunRebel on Oct 24, 2006 7:12 PM EDT reply actions  

http://und.cstv.com/sports/m-footbl/spec-rel/102406aab.html

Video link at the bottom. The quote is about 75% of the way into it.

I don’t think he was trying to single out two SEC teams, they just happened to be the teams that passed ND. If the same thing happened with two Big 12 teams, his response would have been the same.

by cjdomer04 on Oct 24, 2006 7:43 PM EDT reply actions  

Charlie Weis Befuddled Dept:
RE: History_Ant, Comment # 9

Charlie Tuna Jr. was in full spin mode, kind of funny, since he brags about being Mr. Brutally Honest Charlie.

He thinks Florida was home eating cheeseburgers, but, methinks, they were…hmmmmm…..drinking modestly?

“Another team [Florida] that jumped us wasn’t even playing. They were home eating cheeseburgers and they end up jumping us. That befuddles me.” – Charlie Weis

by Stacy Keibler Loves Me on Oct 24, 2006 7:46 PM EDT reply actions  

First off I am a ND homer, so we’ll get that out of the way. Tennessee jumping us in the polls I’m cool with, they beat Alabama. Fine.

Florida jumps us in the polls after we win our game. It wasn’t pretty but it was a win. Florida has a week off, and their last game was a LOSS. If that crap happened to your team, you’d be pissed too.

Pile on the fat coach, that’s the nature of the business. So the way I see it, Notre Dame has to live up to some pollsters ridiculous standards, or Florida had one helluva bye week.

by Uncle Smokey Stank on Oct 24, 2006 8:05 PM EDT reply actions  

Charlie was just projecting onto Florida what he wished that he had been doing on Saturday.

by Mike on Oct 24, 2006 8:10 PM EDT reply actions  

Its Earning Season, Charlie, alot of Blue Chips will report profits and fall in the market for failure to meet expectations. Near misses to both MSU and UCLA may in fact be worse than a loss by Florida to Auburn on the road. But, at least you waited until right before your service academy run to bitch about the polls, unlike Tooberville.

by Ltrain on Oct 24, 2006 8:26 PM EDT reply actions  

I think you guys misread that quote, he wasn’t bitching about FL jumping them in the polls, he was pissed FL was home eating cheeseburgers and he sweatin butter on the sidelines worrying one out.

by bhors on Oct 24, 2006 9:37 PM EDT reply actions  

You guys may not know this, but cheeseburger eating is actually factored into three of the BCS computer ratings. This is why Florida jumped, the weekend was actually very productive, BCS wise. Charlie shouldn’t bitch, because I can’t think of a coach that will benefit more from the BCS’s new pro-cheeseburger policy.

by Rob G (poster formerly known as Lono) on Oct 24, 2006 11:00 PM EDT reply actions  

All of YOU people that sit around and post, waiting to put your two cents about somebody else. First of all, we live in the US and it is innocent until proven guilty. Second, if you really want something to read, check out all of Travelle’s accomplishments. I’m sure none of you ever played ball or coached. Just a whole lot of wannabys with something to say. You don’t want to play with the BAY you bammas.

by keepitreal707 on Oct 25, 2006 2:25 AM EDT reply actions  

Rob G, great post.

by TY on Oct 25, 2006 6:41 AM EDT reply actions  

Notre Dame coaches and/or fans complaining about the polls. Now THAT’s funny.

by Will Collier on Oct 25, 2006 6:57 AM EDT reply actions  

In a state where most prisons have gubernatorial suites, I can’t imagine this causing too many problems.

by OhioDawg on Oct 25, 2006 7:33 AM EDT reply actions  

Someone tell Charlie that all he has to do is beat a few average teams without making the win seem “fortunate” or “lucky” or “the hand of god reached down and took the irish down the field in under a minute in three plays with no timeouts” and he will get a little BCS recognition. He probably thinks he doesn’t get much exposure from the media too.

Better yet, Notre Dame has more pull than any other single NCAA program, so why doesn’t he use his time in the spotlight to get us a playoff system and then everyone can stop complaining.

by beatAuburn on Oct 25, 2006 7:56 AM EDT reply actions  

Weis crying about the drop in polls this week is a joke. He is either:

a) Stupid: “Tell me how that works?” Weis said. “Maybe I’m just stupid. Tell me how that works?”

b) Liar: He knows very well why other one loss teams passed him this past week.

c) A-Hole: With their easy schedule coming up, trying to work the pollsters is a joke.

I would vote for b) and c). Charlie is a lot of things, but a dumbass he ain’t.

by Harvey Wireman on Oct 25, 2006 8:53 AM EDT reply actions  

Charlie, this may be considered flippant, but get on a freakin’ treadmill and don’t get off till I tell you.

by DHC on Oct 25, 2006 4:14 PM EDT reply actions  

Charlie, this may be considered flippant, but get on a freakin’ treadmill and don’t get off till I tell you.
“His jiggling is almost hypnotic.”
“Yes, it’s like a lava lamp.”

by j.j. on Oct 25, 2006 5:24 PM EDT reply actions  

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