Thank goodness Marshawn Lynch isn’t an eighty year old man headed to the curbside market, because bodies would have been flying at the the Cal/Washington game if he were, a game which Ty Willingham was just “three or four plays away from winning.” (That quote, of course, should be accompanied by the sound of a well hit Titleist soaring into the azure sky of an early Seattle tee time.)

After scoring the winning td on an immaculately executed toss play, Lynch engaged in some healthy mockery of Washington’s victory celebration involving a golf cart by taking the trainer’s cart for a spin. On the way, Lynch clearly seizes, goes into a trance, and decides that he is in a life-size game of Mario Kart, driving as close to people as possible while screaming out “HA-ha” and “Im-A Number One-a!”

If he’d had that badass triple red shell power-up, this would have been a gory occurrence indeed–we shudder to think of what would have happened if though he’d gotten the invincible star bonus.

For those of you not literate in MarioKart speak, just click the video to watch one of the strangest and most creative victory celebrations we’ve ever seen. NOBEL PRIZE! NOBEL PRIZE!

Give this man the Heisman, or he will run you down in the trainer’s cart most fiercely.