the third from the right has an incredible ass, but other than that, they are all pretty boring in the face.

Deep in the of Texas…

To swipe an Orson-created word . . . badonkadonktastic.

Is Lil’ Red Mark Foley’s love doll?

Adam, fourth from the left is pretty damn hot. Her smile speaks of sin.

Just so we’re clear, The Evil Known as L’il Red is not Nebraska’s mascot — Herbie Husker is. After all, the only championship Nebraska’s won in recent memory was the Capital One Mascot of the Year competition.

Looks like Herbie Husker is “bowling balling” Joe Bruin’s ass in the group photo.

also, jazz hands…

Is there a Husker in the house than can honestly explain why Lil’ Red exists? That thing is an abortion.

Let me try to erase that last thought by re-directing.

Adam, what exactly is wrong with the cheerleaders, again? The tall one in the middle has a horse’s face and the one on the end is chubbier than she is short, but otherwise they’re MNC quality, too.

Heaven help me on this one, Adam, but I do believe they may be doing the bend-and-snap from Legally Blonde with those jazz hands…

Wait- those girls have heads?

Mmmm… chappity chap chap chaps… I love me some chaps.

Nebraska was the Bugeaters, maybe Joe Rogan can be another mascot.

I just don’t get the terror reaction. Every time I see Lil’ Red, I want to order a bacon cheeseburger and a slice of strawberry pie.

http://www.frischs.com/

Those chaps are the only pleasant memory I have from the Rose Bowl…

Li’l Red looks like he belongs at a car dealership with a wacky waving inflatable arm flailing tube man.

Herbie Husker’s favorite food is…corn on the cob? Little surprise there. Before he took on this role, I bet Herbie played Sgt. Cobb Nobler in Gwar’s side group, Ex-Cop. They did have a classic, “When you Fuck with the Law, You’re Fucked!”

What a show. That’s where I learned you should never smoke bad pot at a speed metal concert.

Gwar had a side project? Who knew?

Oh yeah, another problem with that nuclear red baby thing is motherfucker has its apostrophe in the wrong place.

Bullfrog:

I know Lil Red was summoned from the Underworld by Dollar Bill Byrne (the current AD of Texas A&M), who continually tried to do two things during his tenure at NU:

1. Win the Sears Trophy.
2. Market Nebraska outside of “flyover country”.

The first he did by milking, but never feeding, the cash cow that is Nebraska football. (Hence the Solich administration, quality baseball facility, and championship v’ball team.)

The second he did by marginalizing the old-school Herbie Husker — you know, the fat blond one with the ear of corn in his pocket and the overalls? — with Lil’ Red, who’s way hipper, what with the red overalls and sideways ball-cap. Other changes, such as the N with the ’Huskers script also took place, but most saw the other changes as generally positive, or at least not nearly as dramatic as a total mascot overhaul to… that.

You couldn’t pay me enough to be Lil Red. Kids love him — almost every one else would like to kick him square in his inflatable crotch.

Thorough! Thanks, Albino Tornado. (That would be a great Golden Age comic book hero name, by the way.)

Speaking of marketing outside flyover country, this game will be broadcast to 75% of the country including the east coast due to the early (11 AM CST) kick off. What will the west coast be viewing? San Jose State vs Nevada.

SeaTrojan:

Asking Adam about cheerleaders makes about as much sense as asking an Alabama fan about their opinions on dentistry.

Exes to be from Texas:

Those chicks rock!, with two or three hot enough to make it on the varsity Dallas Cowboys’ squad.

Orangeblood —

Considering we recruit Cali and, well, you don’t, we here in Nebraska are feeling pretty hosed about the 11 am “national game” deal. They should have put the Georgia School of VCR and Gun Repair / Clemson game on at 12 ET.

We’re conviced Dodds (and Mack Brown) are behind this travesty, as they’ve been behind every other way Nebraska’s ever gotten hosed by the conference since 1996. 8-)

Albino Tornado -

Longhorn fans don’t care for the early kick off either. I mean, who’s awake at that hour?

Little known fact: the NU mojo is kept in a mason jar in Texas’ trophy wing.

SKLM,

Most gay guys started out with women and there are a few hotties around that can make a manlover’s pants stil fit funny.

As one of my bi co-workers said “If I want something loose, I sleep with a woman. If I want something tight, I sleep with a man.”

Ok, I’m showing a lack of institutional control that I can’t blame on a booster or a local car dealership. I’m going to suspend my “bloggership” for a day in the hopes of staving off more severe “Orsonian” sanctions.

Don’t SMU me, don’t SMU me! I self reported, damnit!

Ummm, would watching the Hugh Johnson and Irish “rap” video constitute “time served”? Just asking.

Yes. You’ve served your debt to us.

SeaTrojan,
You can have it both ways with a woman. And don’t worry about Orsonian sanctions. You’re a Trojan. If this site is anything like college football, Orson’ll just punish a Fresno State fan (as the old saying goes).

Yeah, and I’m about to self-impose sanctions after an unfunny and disgusting comment I posted earlier. It seemed funny at the time…

Love this post.
But… Please, please, a thousand times please, never post the notion that ’Lil Freaking Red is our mascot. Herbie Husker – a fine and normal mascot, and an actual “Husker” – is our mascot.

About The Factor 6 Factor, I realize going up against the UT cheerleaders is a contest that should only attempted by the mighty USC Song Girls.

But, I want to give a shout out to the women of NE. For those who have been to Lincoln, you know the talent qualifies as “underrated”. Swedish and German genes combined with good work ethic (no princeses) and a rabid love of football. And, chics who dig football are especially hot. Like, say, my wife.

Darren, we are on record as supporting any actions to bring more mysteriously hot farmgirls into the EDSBS fold. Thank you for your efforts.

BUT DAMMIT WHAT IS THAT THING ON YOUR SIDELINES AIIIGGGHTT!!!???!!!

And if I could suggest an outfit for a significant other come Halloween time, it’d be ‘Texas cheerleader with assless chaps’. There are already enough slutty nurses and slutty schoolgirls on Halloween, and the official rule is that any female halloween costume must fit the “slutty ______” description. Texas cheerleader ≡ Hottness.

JJ

I thought nothing would replace my love of the “traditional” cheerleading outfit (pleated skirt, tight sweater). But, assless chaps does it. I’m cured.

You are 100% right. That needs to be the #1 Halloween costume for hot women age 18-30.

Interestingly, “Lil Red” is actually even scarier in doll form.

Imagine for a second that exact same eerie look replicated and miniaturized…and sitting on a child’s doll shelf. It makes the Chucky look downright safe.

4th from left looks cute. You guys on here are always big and tough knocking pics of the girls that go up but I know all you old dudes would tap any of that in a heartbeat. I think a little game of “compared to your wife” is in order as in “Shes hot/beat compared to my wife.”

Genius, although I have to disagree with number 5.

The following names all have a leg up on this Bo Ruud character in my book:

1) Colt McCoy – the name of a true gunslinger from the old west.

2) Quan Cosby – a distant relative of Bill Cosby… don’t let the sweater fool you.

3) Limas Sweed – how many other 6-5 225 lb receivers do you know named after a Peanuts’ character?

Longhorns are a striking enough image, but there’s not enough team names that celebrate obsolete jobs that now are performed by machines, unless your local community college team is still called the "Telegraph Operators."

What, like the Boilermakers? Seriously folks, we didn’t name our team after the drink…

Orangeblood —

Why, we’re awake at that our, what with all the milking and tilling and harvesting and whatnot. After all, we’re all farmers in Nebraska — haven’t you heard?

And you’re not nearly as pissed off as the Lincoln bar owners. (For those of you who’ve never been to Lincoln, the tailgating scene for non-high-dollar donors tends to be "Bartender! Another round of Bloody Marys! Memorial Stadium is all of 3 blocks from downtown, and there aren’t vast intramural fields to turn into mini-Woodstocks nearby.)

And for those who wonder what the hell Lil Red is… the shortest answer is an awful, awful mistake whose time has passed and should be expunged from the history books in the finest Stalinist tradition.

I think I’ve driven a car on the sidewalk/parking lot where the Texas cheerleaders are stading. Isn’t there a picture of them not in Pasadena? It brings up bad memories.

Orangeblood: it’s too bad that, but for the Vince Young lifetime achievement award, that mason jar is about the only thing that’s gone into the “trophy wing” in the last 35 years…but that doesn’t excuse the fact that your little known fact is true—I wish that NU’s current streak of pissing it down their legs against the horns would end this week. Not likely, if they continue their season-long trend of sitting on their hands for the entire second half (against teams that aren’t named Nicholls or Troy state.)

Darrin: I’d take my hot Nebraskan wife (who’s the only person to have watched every NU game with me for the last 4 years and who keeps stats for me when I do high school games on the radio on friday nights) over any of those girls any day. That’s not tough talk…just a fact. She’s currently trailing the leader by 4 points in a weekly college pick em pool of a dozen and a half, exclusively-male participants. Of course, she’s also still 23 and the type who’s capable of giving any of these gals a run for their money. But for crying out loud, the one on the left has a gut bigger than mine. I think that NU should clad their cheerleaders in bib overalls with nothing underneath. Buttless chaps have too many connotations to gay dance clubs for my taste as a football fan.

Albino Tornado: Good rundown on the history of Dollar Bill bringing “lil red” into the fold. Although those in the know always refer to him as “bubble boy” ala the Seinfeld episode featuring Costanza and “the Moops”.

And Orson, the best name on the Husker team this year is a lineman by the name of Victory Haines. (I think he may double as bubble boy’s sidekick.)

Sorry…I meant Brian instead of Darrin.

DT —

Don’t put the cheerleaders in naughty farmer’s daughter bib overalls — that sound much more like a job for the Scarlets. And while the Scarlets, much like Nebraska, have certainly upgraded their overall talent and depth over the past few years, Texas may still have a bit of an edge. I say that regardless of the presence of my own Scandinavian/German upper midwestern bride.

And last but not least, the one on the far right’s naughty smile and blush is giving me wicked smaht flashbacks to Sarah Michelle Gellar in “Cruel Intentions.” I’ll let you put it anywhere indeed.

the girls in the chaps arent the cheerleaders, they’re the POM Squad. also, thats not all of them. I think they usually total about 15-20.
The cheerleaders wear regular cheerleading skirts.

also disagree with number 5, but i guess you couldnt give all the factors to Texas, huh?
Colt McCoy is an awesome name for a Texas QB. and he drinks half a gallon of milk a day.

“Buttless chaps have too many connotations to gay dance clubs for my taste as a football fan.”

Why do you know this fact?

You’re right, Albino Tornado…the Scarlets would be much better suited to don the new look. Besides, if the cheerleaders were to wear something like that, the next thing you know, their male counterparts would come out dressed in something akin to Jethro on the Beverly Hillbillies…and that would defeat the whole purpose.

And I think that the reason for your flashback might be due to the fact that it looks like the one on the right may have eaten Sarah Michelle Gellar.

Also, I just wanted to bitch that NU lost the “General Aura” section of this matchup. Basing your selection on an off hand remark made by a couple of lesbians who don’t know squat about football kind of flies in the face of the fact that NU has actually won more home games than Texas has in the harrowing stretch known as the last five years…(no small feat if you consider the conventional wisdom.)

[pedant]
There’s no such thing as assless chaps. Assed chaps are pants. Chaps are by definition assless[/pedant]

How could you pick a cow over Lard Lad???

Sessamoid:

Maybe he’s got HBO?

In defense of the Husker’s puffy mascot, I found this entry on Wikipedia about the Latino street gang Norteños that would make the average Miami Hurricane fan/player/coach/University President proud:

Norteño emblems and clothing are based on the color red; a typical norteño outfit might include a red belt, red shoes, and red shoelaces. They also favor brand-name clothing such as Tommy Hilfiger, Dickies, Ben Davis [no relation to Butch], and the University of Nebraska.

This means that they would probably take down a big steer with a few Tec-9s or at least some badass knives and then whip up a mean plate of Bistec a la Mexicana.

Wichita State’s original name: the Wheatshockers. Giving up that tie to the past is more than made up for by the neat new hand signal.

Hook Em Horns!

I’m in agreement with Albino Tornado: a brunette in chaps who actually has an ass is where it’s at. Some skinny blonde who doesn’t have much to come flying out the overalls, no thanks.

Yes, that is the ‘bend and snap’ from “Legally Blonde”.
 And I believe the technical term would be ‘spirit fingers’.

Sessamoid, I thought that was pretty common knowledge…but you’re right, I’ve no actual firsthand experience in the matter.

It sounds like these Norteños need to recruit Chuck Amato to their gang. They’d show him who’s the man.

Bevo’s dead,
Go Big Red.

Another team named after an obsolete job that is now done by machines:

Boilermakers.

This is the first time ive been on this page, and this is funny as hell. I love it. College football and a bunch of other smartasses. Its great.
As for the Texas girls, pretty smoking. Even though Im in Virginia, Texas girls still rock.

On your homefield, in the freezing cold, sleet and snow. We still won. We haven’t lost in Lincoln since 1933.