We may all be football fans, but most of the readers of this blog did not, and probably at this point will not play the game we spend most of our waking hours dissecting, ruminating over, and drinking to numb the pain of all that dissecting and rumination.

One person is likely happy about your relative lack of athleticism–”HEY! BAND INVOLVED…MARCHING.”–your doting, worried mother, who would pat herself on the back if she happened across UCLA quarterback Patrick Cowan’s gory story from the Oregon game on the wire this morning.

Coach Karl Dorrell said Monday that Cowan got punched in the throat while being sacked, causing him to lose his voice on the final series. Dorrell relied on receivers to shuttle plays to the huddle and communicate them.

On the trip back to Los Angeles, Cowan’s throat swelled up and he coughed up blood, Dorrell said.

FSU fans plan on punching Jeff Bowden in the throat during his lunch break at Smoothie King every week for the rest of the season, too. The only question remaining is if Mickey Andrews will be standing there to hold his head and arms back for easy access to the soft tissues you need to hit to make the plan work.

The game plan.