We don’t know what’s going to happen in the November elections, but we’d like to come right out and say that we’re supporting whatever party decides to embrace the American tradition of personal liberty and keeps college football video game stabbing legal. (HT: AUAlum, for the following story.)

James Rodney Wilson, who we bet a plugged nickel uses all three names or calls himself “J-Rod,” and his cousin Lance Eugene Borchert, both over thirty, finished an epic Auburn-Tennessee game late Saturday night where Borchert’s Volunteer team defeated Auburn, most likely with the four-wide “deep attack” play, because either the slot post or the little out to the sideline is always open. Or maybe curl flats, because that’s damn near unstoppable, especially with that post route up the middle…

Ahem. At any rate, J-Rod (yeah, that’s what he calls himself,) decided to even the score after his defeat with a “deep” attack of his own on his cousin. He walked into the bedroom where Borchert was asleep with his wife and put a 12-inch knife into his cousin’s back, puncturing his lung.

The best slice from the Decatur Daily article:

“At first, the victim didn’t know he had been stabbed,” the sheriff said. “He thought he had been hit. I wouldn’t have bet a plugged nickel he would have lived. He went to the hospital with the knife still in his back.”

…Blakely said after the stabbing that Wilson ran from the Borchert home into nearby woods. He said dogs from Limestone Correctional Facility helped track Wilson, and authorities arrested him at 3:15 a.m.

Ahh, sounds just like holidays at the Swindle household.


Release the hounds!