MY, THAT'S DISTURBING: THE AGGIE SQUEEZE.

As a Longhorn friend explained to me long ago, “At A&M, if they do something stupid once, it’s stupid; if they do it twice, it’s tradition.”

All I know is that somebody should’ve taught Mark Foley this maneuver a long time ago.

Well, this is the school that spent university funds to build a scoreboard for the dog cemetery. Seriously. I’m not smart enough to make that up.

Kind of gives new meaning to Fran’s “Hold the Rope!”

Now lean forward and choke yourself.

Did you guys specifically link this because of the score at the bottom of the picture? Touche, Swindle.

After Rudy Carpenter’s record-setting performance I’ve all but given up on college football. Is it basketball season yet? Oh wait, I went to ASU…nevermind. May God have mercy on my soul.

Now we know how Austin resident Mike Judge came up with his idea for the most popular TV show of the 26th century, “Ow, My Balls!”

Oh, come on, didn’t ANYBODY else see “Idiocracy”?!?

Far be it from me to make rash overgeneralizations, but that’s the dumbest fucking thing I’ve ever seen and all TAMU fans are complete ’tards.

This is how they make their delicious testicle jelly for the frat boy bake sale.

Wait until Carl Monday sees this! Texas A&M: You Jackin It?

well, judging by the dude thats 4th in line(teh one with teh rad specs) they are really doing this to “take the pain” for coach fran, cause that dude is gonner than the wind!!

where to begin. first, thats gayer than gay. second, “S” was right on the money with the institutionalized homoeroticism. third, even that flamboyant gayness couldnt beat lowly texas tech. eat a dick, win a game, and get some cheers that dont involve how much you hate THE University of Texas. it makes you look dumb, and all other schools laugh at your expense. oh yea, the real armed forces laugh at you too and are embarrased at the stunning game of grabass going on during the game. come on beergut, come defend your boys. and while your at it, tell the class when your “school” last won a MNC. douche.

There are Aggie jokes, and then there’s the reality which makes Aggie jokes pale by comparison…

I keep having this conversation with myself:

“WTF?!”
“Dude, it’s Texas A&M.”
“Yeah, but… WTF?!!”
“No, really. It’s A&M.”
“Ok… yeah… but WTF??!!!!”

I thought it was Gig’em Aggies, not Squeeze’em. I think they are actually taking their lead from their head coach. So they must be removing their fellas and letting Fran’s wife keep them in her purse.

There is no explanation on the Aggie Yell Leader website: http://yell.tamu.edu/, but there is an email address at the bottom of the screen that some enterprising blogger might want to use to ask the question.

The difference between a straight Aggie and a gay Aggie is usually just a six-pack.

I as the self appointed spokesman for the state of Texas, have the following announcment.

We the citizens of the former Republic of Texas, now the State of Texas do not, and have never claimed affiliation with the Texas A&M University. We are still unclear where they actually came from, or what their purpose of being here is. Over the years their only contribution to society has been a slew of humorous jokes that have depicted the stupidity of the A&M student. The State of Texas unfortunatly has a lax policy on institutions of higher learning. Like our border policy, it seems that any group of people can stake claim to land in Texas and declare themselves a university, or college. We are hoping that the problem will be rectified in the future. Other than hurting themselves, we have been very lucky thus far that A&M has not been able to hurt anyone on the football field. With informational videos like the one above, we are calling on individuals like yourselves to help spread the word about this disturbing institution. With the grace of God we will be able to rid the great state of Texas of this academic disgrace. Thank you, and may God be with us in these trying times.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wMmhnqUXseE

God bless YouTube and may He have mercy on the souls of those who would promote institutionalized masterbation as a football tradition. Quick question, now that the Corp. is coed, what do the girls do???

titty twisters?

It all started innocently enough. The French lit prof walked into the classroom and told students to “grab your Balzac.” Unfortunately, the students missed the remaining instructions.

Some stupid Big 12 traditions:

Baylor – trying to book Michael Johnson for Homecoming. Every year.

Iowa State – Ass-ram place kicker before division-clinching conference game.

Texas Tech – Play X-box until tunnel walk is halfway over. Leach downloads Spurrier ’96 into his iPod and calls game while listening to King Crimson.

Colorado – Protest. Go to game with parents. Protest some more. Let Nazi-sympathizing Native Americans become full-time faculty members. Post-game frat-style fuck fest.

Nebraska – Have fundraiser for AD Steve Pederson’s personal campaign for World Domination. Eventually spend money on jumbo screen to be ousted by Texas in about 300 days.

This post is getting out there….

Point: A&M needs to go somewhere and think about this one…

I know everyone here just wants to make fun, but I can tell you what’s actually going on there. That is the group in the corps charges with protecting Reveille, A&M’s collie mascot. When there are a few minutes left in the game, they form a human wall around the dog to protect her from opposing fans. This is actually a recent tradition and was necessitated by well-mannered Tech fans who thought it would be fun to throw un-opened beer cans at Reveille and her handler when they were attempting to leave a game in Lubbock a few years ago.

At this point, the lack of response by any A&M fans leads me to question whether Aggie fans are an extinct species.

Has the “Fran” officially killed off what was already an ailing species?

OK, the homophobia round here is out of control. Y’all got something you need to talk about?

when something painful happens in the game, the corp members must grab their nuts to convey the pain the players are going through. hence “squeeze ags”

ok they want to make a human wall around the dog, thats fine. So why couldn’t they just stand around the dog like any normal group of people would?

Hey, nothing here baby. We’ve only loved two men, and one of them left us for some nasty Cocks.

The other wins games for us at safety.

OK, the homophobia round here is out of control. Y’all got something you need to talk about?

In many states, there’s a special term for a guy who grabs his nuts in public — registered sex offender.

While loathe to get on the bad side of the Conscience, I think there’s a whole lot of conversational space between homophobia and merely making fun of stupid Aggies.

as the token gay, i would like to disassociate myself with any A&M actions. while C&B play is enjoyable to some, it certainly is not to be done in public, especially in a football stadium in the south.

oh, and devilgrad, i think she was referring to post 11.

I didn’t think we were making fun of the Aggies because they were gay, but because their utter gayness is so deeply suppressed underneath all of this ‘tradition’. Leather boots, military uniforms, an official tradition known as the “elephant walk”, and a bunch of men grabbing their testicles — the whole campus is just the Village People waiting to happen.

I love the Aggies just because they are so fun to make fun of. Heck, here in Texas making fun of Aggies is practically the official state hobby.

not that it matters, but here’s some context:

 - there is no explanation for why that guy in the front is holding his junk, i’ll give you that. but if you look, he’s the only one.

- they’re formed up like that because they’re the freshmen in the mascot company and that is how they escort reveille out of the stadium

- they’re screaming because A&M is on defense and Tech is driving down the field for the win

damnit..

tech has the bell ringer
we now have the testicular torsion
texas is due..

There’s “gay” as in homosexual, and there’s “ghey” as in willfully, head-slappingly lame. This A&M nut-grabbing business is arguably both, which makes it “gheigh” or something even worse, which I can’t even comprehend at this point.

Or as the genius comic Patton Oswalt once said, “That’s gayer than eight guys blowin’ nine guys.”

I’ve been at A&M exactly four months. When I got here I couldn’t understand why there was so much tension on campus between the Corps of Cadets and the rest of the students. After seeing my world class University lampooned on every sports-humor blog on the internet, I’m starting to understand the tension.

Doug, that’s a stellar quote. Patton’s a genius on the Comedy Central Roasts.

If they’re screaming because A&M is on defense, they can try watching the game…

“Bend over, Abilgail May, because here comes the gravy pipe!”

Sorry, the confluence of Patton Oswalt references and the above video caused my brain to spit out that Patton Oswalt quote.

DG- I agree, but sometimes it still rubs me the wrong way, in a manner not unreminiscent of the gentlemen in the video.

Besides, hetero men seem to love the lady cocksuckers, so I don’t quite get the h8 for our XY brethren.

FOOTBAW?? I mean, I’ve heard of the locomotive cheer, but this…………the Aggie Gay Train Cheer? Just …….BAWLS!!!!!

One of those arcane laws on the books here in Texas goes back to pioneer days and essentially says that if you fence off public lands and nobody complains, after a couple of years, the land is yours free of charge. I suggest that public land was fenced off by an unholy hybrid progeny of okie/arkie descent, and they founded a$m in order to publically embarass my great state. Bastards!

Maybe the grabbing and screaming is their way of keeping down the urges after all the post-touchdown kissing?

Seeing that makes me feel glad that my college only lost a football game.

If a bunch of Bama fans were on national TV doing that, I can not imagine the fall out in terms of national mocking.

Losing a game is harsh, but losing right after that is broadcast is mindboggling.

And like the guy above said, it’s not so bad because of the hmilitary omoeroticism. It’s that coupled with the incredible lameness of people acting like that.

Even if they are protecting a dog.

this is my rifle, this is my gun. this is for fighting, this is for fun.

is that you john wayne?

“Squeeze Ags,” the jizz jar, and all the other disturbing aggroloid traditions have been known all over the state of Texas about as long as college football has been around. Glad it is finally there for everyone to see nationally.

Individually, Aggies act like the homophobic neighbor in “American Beauty.” While they are pretty hilarious individually, it’s when they get together to practice their traditions that the laughs go off the charts.

In fact, EVERY single tradition at A&M is either 1) homoerotic, 2) focused on their resentful obsession with The University of Texas, or 3) both.

As for the Texas A&M Corps of Cadets…even though the vast majority of those dorks never serve a day in the Armed Forces, we appreciate their entertainment value anyway, if we’re embarrassed that the word “Texas” is in their name.

fat lenny gets bonus points for the Full Metal Jacket reference! Only on EDSBS can you get a blogger using the word “detumescence”, discussion of the homoerotic tendencies of the Aggie Corp of Cadets, and a Full Metal Jacket reference all in one day.

“I’m an Aggie fan and I’m OK … "

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y4LnDTlQtXA&NR

Look, I admit that viewed on its own, this looks bad. But if you put it in context, it makes perfect sense.

What people do at Tech is just WRONG, and these gentlemen are merely pointing out that some things need to wait until after the game, no matter how excited you are.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_I-4XS3XtZQ

One more reason not to like anything from Texas.

Go Bucks!

“Only two things come from Texas….STEERS AND ……

and boy, I don’t see any horns on you."

Ohiodawg,

You are more than correct in that statement. If the wall was formed to protect the dog from unopened beer bottles, then Texas Tech fans might be the worst fans in the country.

But those guys are the biggest bunch of gay dorks I have ever seen. Who protects the dog mascot while grabbing their nards and screaming?

No Tech fans were throwing beer bottles at lassie. That is typical Gay-and-em. They make up all these b*llsh*t stories about how bat Tech fans are. The facts are that they are a joke. They are obsessed with UT like some little stepchild. They profess to be upstanding people of character, but the only time the are ever good they cheat. If you remove the years that they cheated they are about as good as Houston.

Bear in mind that the majority of Corps traditions arose when the school was an all-male quasi-military school.

So … there’s your context.

Bob and Dan, of the local Dallas sports yammer station 1300 the Ticket, were just discussing this, which inspired an awesome piece of comedy when a late 90’s corps member called in. After providing multiple disclaimers that he did not condone the nut-squeezing, he was just explaining it, he used the tragic turn of phrase “The idea is that if the team is sucking it up, then the corps would suck it up too.”

Sucking it up on the field has certainly been a recent aggie specialty.

I’ll be honest. Seeing that on national TV was something that I wish I hadn’t seen.

I am not a member of the corps nor have I ever sat with the corps. I’ve heard whisperings of that occuring, I’ve never actually seen it before.

It probably deserves some humorous heckling and razzing.

I say that knowing full well that every school with frats has things going on that are just as strange and disturbing.

Life goes on.

When I first saw them showing the mascot company on television, I was annoyed that yet again, the television producers who seem to find the Corps SO photogenic that they ignore the other 84,000 people in the stadium to focus on these 2, 000 uniform-clad students, even doing a mundane task like forming a barrier around Reveille right before the game ends.
 Then I nocited they were bent over, yelling. Nothing wrong with that.
 The reason for ‘humping it’, that is, bending over to do yells, is b/c it stretches your diaphragm so you can yell louder.
 Then I noticed the Corps member near the front appeared to be grabbing himself. “Ooooooh, shit, don’t tell me there are still dumbasses who believe in that tradition….”

 When you bend over to yell (‘hump it’), you put the thumbs and foreginfer of both hands together to make a trinagle, and place your hands on your thighs as you lean over. This guy obviously wanted to grab him some.

 This goes back to the fact that at A&M, there are 43,000 students, and the media and the University Relations people seem obsessed with only focusing on 2,000, no matter ho woften they embarrass the University – which they usually do in the form of some hazing incident at least once a year.

 While there are Corps members who go on to join the military, and there are manyFormer Students who were in the Corps years ago who are now in Iraq and Afghanistan fighting the war on terror, it doesn’t give this student organization free reign to embarrass the school on national television.

 People are going to form opinions about 43, 000 students and hundreds of thousands of alumni based on the activities of one student organization – that’s sad, and I think the University is to blame for that.

 In response to #11, I don’t know a single yell (or cheer, for that matter) that we do that involved texas university. Could you enlighten me on the matter?

 The second verse of the Aggie War Hymn (the A&M fight song) mentions texas prominently b/c it was written to commemorate a football win over texas, (as texas’ fight song, texas fight, mentions A&M, I don’t see why y’all are so riled up about this, it is a rivalry, after all), but that is the only mention of texas u in our songs or yells. So, what the hell are you talking about?

Looks gay….. You are correct it is clearly a diversion tactic like in other military maneuver designed to attract your gay texas tech players and the gay Zorro that rides a horse out for you fags. . Till next year you red faggots

There’s only one person that can save that sorry assed institution and they’re dumbass traditions:

Ed Orgeron.

Much in the same way that Bahr and Sherrill ushered in an era of cheating Texas A&M, Coach O can usher in a new era of eliminating some of the silly bullshit the makes the casual observer say “WTF?” Why, I can hear him now…

“Yaw Yaw Yaw yaw…What’s with the fake Army bullshit? Wanna be in the Army, here’s the name of a recruiter. Grow up. And what’s with these clowns standing there yelling ‘gig ’em?’ That’s pussy boy nancy shit. And if you wanna protect a dog, you dont make a human wall off these faggoty ass wanna-be G.I. Joes. You do what everyone does with a dog they wanna protect: BUY A ANIMAL CRATE! It will protect it from a Texas Tech beer bottle better than you will. And stop grabbing your nuts. It’s gay. I’ll give you something to grab your nuts about, slackass. rips his shirt off What? You want a piece of this?”

And who the hell needs an oversized, absurd, 11 story bonfire when you have the towering inferno of rage that is Coach O?

I’ll take The Oregeron over Fran. I can relate to a coach going insaneon the sidelines.

 Fran just stands there and writes on notecards while stuffing his face with Little Debbie cakes. You might be tempted to think he’s writing down adjustments and mistakes we need to correct, but what he’s really doing is calculating how much interest his $2 million salary will earn this coming year.

heh Coach O

“The difference between a straight Aggie and a gay Aggie is usually just a six-pack.”

And here’s an article to confirm it.

11/19/1998

A&M Corps member accuses fellow cadet of sexual assualt Freshman alleges sophomore forced oral sex in dorm room

Ashley Kosiewicz Daily Texan Staff

A male freshman member of the Corps of Cadets at Texas A&M University filed a sexual assault complaint against another male cadet last week.

According to the the Texas A&M University Police Department, the freshman cadet, whose name was not released, alleged that on Nov. 7 a sophomore cadet entered his dorm room, knocked him down to the floor and forcibly performed oral sex on him.

The police also declined to release the sophomore’s name.

The sophomore cadet was questioned by A&M police last Friday, during which he denied the allegations, said Bob Wiatt, director of the police department.

The freshman filed the complaint with police Nov. 11, but subsequently decided not to press criminal charges, Wiatt said.

The sophomore has been cleared of all criminal charges, but the University has decided to investigate to see if there has been a violation of University Student Rules, which spell out guidelines for student behavior, Wiatt said.

The sophomore has been removed from his dorm and suspended from the Corps until the matter is resolved, said Brian Hager, commanding officer of the two students’ Corps division.

Hager said alcohol may have been involved in the alleged incident. The sophomore may have had “a few drinks” during the Texas A&M-Oklahoma football game on Nov. 7, the day the sexual assault allegedly occurred, he said

Beergut-
It’s funny how the Corps is now suddenly some small extreme group of students who should be distanced from A&M.

Aggies seem pretty proud to use them for the whole ‘military patriotism rah rah rah’ angle whenever possible. How about when the Corps band is on the field? They’re definitely a key part of the Aggie family then.

Aggies are so proud to be different, to have ‘traditions’. Well, there’s a weird and endlessly amusing downside to this.

Finally, what is this Texas University you speak of? I’m not familiar with it. I know you’re ‘red-ass’ and all, but you can drop the silly Aggie mis-naming thing when you are on a Florida blog. It makes you appear oh so credible..

I’m an ag. I’m in the corps. I’ve been drunk. I’m still not gay or have particapated in any gay activities of any kind. Nor do I think that any of you have the right to bash on an organization that has produced quality officers for the military for more than 100 years. It is riduculous to see how little people are willing to join the military these days to serve their country. 45,000 aggies 2,000 in the corps and why? because American society has no drive anymore to do anything that involves a little difficulty.
Sitting from the sidelines as uneducated about what is going on as they are and stereotyping because of the acts of one person. Ridiculing a group of people who as a school had the most people serving in WWII (More than the service academies) people who in the past have defended them and are still doing it now. If you don’t understand anything, you need to either be smart and find out what its really about before you go on running your mouth or just shut the hell up. It is true that most cadets haven’t served as YET because the Army, Air Force, Navy, and Marine corps require that they have a degree in order to serve as an officer. This is the way it was back in 1876 when the Corps/University was founded and this is still military regulation now. The highest ranking person in the Airforce was in the Corps, the Governor of Texas, Senators, etc… The corps has produced leaders, defenders of this country and the best and brightest in their fields for years. Thats why people come to this university but they are not getting the experience that created these leaders by just attending classes in the tough curriculum of A&M. they have the nerve to call the organization that created this university an embarassment.

I know for a fact that some idiot is going to respond calling my fellow ags gay, embarassment, stupid……..but just remember what aggies have sacraficed in the past for this country(for you to live in the USA you live in now), what they are doing right now in iraq and afghanistan, and as God as my witness as we get fewer and fewer we will still be defending our countrymen in the future….the same countrymen who turn around and bash our traditions. you are all grown men or old enough to use a computer and you should be smart enough to know that you don’t judge a group of people by the actions of few.

“even though the vast majority of those dorks never serve a day in the Armed Forces”. Obviously you are a retard that has no idea what he is saying. A&M’s corp has produced seven medal of honor winners.

First off, I am a memeber of the Corps at A&M. Second, it is normal from people to make fun of things they dont understand. Third, ignorance is not an excuse. Try to learn something before you make fun of it. A block of freshman is formed around rev. The yell leader is infont of the block so they know to yell anyway. On any other normal game, from what i noticed, they hold the shoulders and interlock arms in front. Most important to understand, freshman tend to be stupid so if you tell them to do something sometimes they do it wrong. Its fine if you call A&M gay and Corps members gay, we really dont care. As Aggies our traditions maybe wierd to you but they make sense to us. SO why yall think you are clever calling us gay and stupid, we just sit back, relax and laugh our ass off at how stupid yall sound.
And since when is lunch meat an appropriate mascot? Just curious.

and when we see aggies throwing the horns down, calling us tu, and making fun of our mascot, we just sit back, relax and laugh our asses off at the fact that you haven’t beaten us since last century. see you in Austin…I’ll even buy you a beer if you promise not to squeeze my nuts.

LOL … y’all are just goofy as hell. You’ll see anything you want to see if it makes fun of us Aggies won’t you?

Oh well, we know what’s really going on and that’s all that matter.

Gig ’em ;)

Hey Marshall … you wishin’ you could retract your comment now? :D

Texas A&M’s 2000 strong Corps of Cadets is lead by a three star general and provides MORE commissioned officers to the United States Armed Forces than any other school outside of the service academies. In fact, A&M was established as a senior military college and is still considered to be so under federal law. A&M’s Corps of Cadets has also produced 7 Medal of Honor Winners and over 225 and generals and admirals. Aggies have served in the armed forces in every war and conflict since the Spanish American War including the present day Iraqi War. There have have been thousands of cadets from the Corps at A&M who have died including many who have died recently in Iraq. It is sad to see that their ultimate sacrifice is being slammed. This “sqeeze” tradition is rarely, if ever, seen and I in fact have never done this or heard of it. It is indeed silly looking; however, THE IGNORANT COMMENTS FROM TEXAS FANS IN RESPONSE TO THE CLIP ARE ERRONEOUS AND HURTFUL TO THE THOUSANDS OF AGGIES WHO CURRENTLY SERVE THIS NATION. As someone who is in the process of contracting with the US Army and on behalf of the thousands of cadets from A&M who have died serving America, I would appreciate it if those who made such horrid and uneducated comments educate yourself in some history and accept how your ridiculous and ignorant words hurt Aggie soldiers and their families.

Check this clip out if your at all curious of A&M’s valiant and impressive military involvement.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F9n_kMSVRTU

If you are a bit more curious, ask George Bush why he built his Presidential Library at Texas A&M. Or ask the current Secretary of Defense, Robert Gates, who was the recent president of A&M, about the crucial importance that A&M serves in this great country’s military.

“The men of Texas A&M can stand up to any men in the world and compare favorably their education and training for leadership — leadership in the pursuits of peace, and if it comes to war, leadership in battle.”

—Gen. Omar Bradley, 1950

“No more convincing testimony could be given to the manner in which the men of Texas A&M lived up to the ideals and principles inculcated in their days on the campus than the simple statement that the Congressional Medal of Honor has been awarded to six former students, that 46 took part in the heroic defense of Bataan and Corregidor, and that nearly 700 are on the list of our battle dead.”

—Gen. Dwight D. Eisenhower, 1946

“When their country calls, Texas Aggies go to war. From the
Spanish-American War and World War I to Operation Iraqi
Freedom, Aggies have been in the forefront of America’s armed
forces, producing MORE officers than any other school outside the
service academies. More than 20,000 Texas Aggies served in
World War II, for instance, including more than 14,000 as
commissioned officers. Trained in leadership and the knowledge
required for warfare, Aggies have served with distinction in all
branches of the military service.” President George H. W. Bush