AUBURN SCRAPES BY. TCU DOESN'T. GIVE SUPERFROG SQUIRTING EYES NOW.

Well we know they couldn’t have been “swallowing hard” in the third quarter if the third was, as you say, cock-free.

Oh, come on. You knew somebody was going to make that joke.

There was a great line in the broadcast by Fowler describing one of the Auburn touchdowns that went something like: “Cox hits the tight-end and it goes all the way!”

Wikipedia entry on horned frogs says it’s blood, along with pretty much every other reference website I could find (including TCU’s own site):

The Texas horned lizard is the largest-bodied and most widely distributed of 8 species in the United States. It grows to a maximum length of 4-6 inches. Although its coloration generally serves as camouflage against predation, when threatened by a predator, a horned lizard puffs up its body to cause its spiny scales to protrude, making it difficult to swallow. At least four species, including the Texas horned lizard, also have the ability to squirt an aimed stream of blood from the corners of the eyes for a distance of up to 3 feet. This not only confuses would-be predators, the blood is mixed with a noxious biochemical that is foul-tasting to wolves, coyotes, bobcats, and domestic dogs and cats.

Don’t know where the associate AD came up with that theory – they do eat tons of red ants, but horny toads don’t appear to be barfing out of their eyeballs.

“This nearly happened as South Carolina almost beat Auburn 24-17”

If caught and converted 24-24. A double IF every Saturday kind of almost? The onside kick AND the blocked pass?

a full quarter of football where Spurrier is not allowed to call a single play

That must have been as frustrating as watching a porn movie where the girls keep their clothes on and try to act

That’s not a Horned Frog, that’s a Sleastacks from Land of the Lost.

And you cannot imagine the joy in DFW right now, especially from my wife the SMU grad. Frog fans have been insufferable the last few years…they forget the sixty years before LT showed up they were as bad as Vandy. And they think they “belong” in the Big 12? My ass.

Okay…rant over.

As for Auburn/Cocky last night, how about when Herbie channeled Ron Franklin and addressed the Oh So Hot Erin Andrews as “Pookums” or some other condescending term of endearment, after she scurried into the tent to stay dry.

Auburn barely escapes against Steve Superior’s male chickens? A team that was shut out easily against the Bulldogs?

How can Auburn, just team No. 3 in the SEC, be No 2 in the AP poll?

Makes about as much sense as an Alabaman goin’ to the dentist.

That’s not a Horned Frog, that’s a Sleastacks from Land of the Lost.

And you cannot imagine the joy in DFW right now, especially from my wife the SMU grad. Frog fans have been insufferable the last few years…they forget the sixty years before LT showed up they were as bad as Vandy. And they think they “belong” in the Big 12? My ass.

Okay…rant over.

As for Auburn/Cocky last night, how about when Herbie channeled Ron Franklin and addressed the Oh So Hot Erin Andrews as “Pookie” or some other condescending term of endearment, after she scurried into the tent to stay dry.

Cue the Bammer / Barner threadjack

Futbawl – great metaphor. All the OBC could do was stand there and shake his head in disbelief.

Raider – I heard that too and laughed. Somewhere Ron must’ve been smiling. Herbie better watch himself or the locks will be changed when he gets back home. That said, Erin looked silly-hot before she had to run for cover.

Lots of ifs and buts from the game, but I was just happy SC could even stay on the field after the first drive. What I can’t figure out is if ANYONE in this league is any good. I thought Auburn’s D would be dominant last night after watching them v. LSU. But the Cocks moved the ball consistently.

Oh, and the Irons brothers are A-holes.

tOSU looked average against PSU and USC looked average against Aridzona.

There is no dominant team in Div 1A this year as of yet. tOSU is the closest, however.

SoCal still won by 17 points and held Arizona to negative rushing yards, no touchdowns, and no third down conversions till deep into the second half. Even though it was “only” Arizona, I thought that was better than average.

USC’s statistics through three games are significantly better than the last time they had to break in a new quarterback and a crop of freshman running backs (2003). The offense isn’t racking up lots of points largely because of the extremely conservative play calling. When the defense is clicking the way it is currently doing, it makes sense to play that way though.

And the horned lizards do shoot blood rather than vomit from thier eyes, but the noxious chemicals (folic acid and other stuff) added in do come from the ants they eat.

…and tOSU struggled for 3 quarters against a PSU team that got blown out by Notre Dame, who got blown out by Michigan. This seasons gets curiouser and curiouser.

Harvey Wireman,

I’m going to say this just once. Syvelle Newton was not the quarterback for S. Carolina when they played Georgia. The difference between Syvelle Newton and Blake Mitchell is like the difference between Peyton Manning and Joe T. III.

Are you a Bama fan or a Georgia fan? It’ll be either 5-in-a-row or 3-in-a-row.

Cardiac Kids: You ask Mr. Wireman: Are you a Bama fan or a Georgia fan? The short answer: Neither. The long answer: Asking me to choose between those two is like asking what is preferable to smell: Beer Farts, or Chili w/ Onions Farts.

I like Florida in the SEC.

Too bad ’Bama has not smelled the rarified air of national championships in about _ years? Even someone my age has forgotten.

The Bear? Did he roam the sidelines when Lombardi, Chachi (of Jonie and Chachi fame) or Rockne was around? I forget and to quote the Who: “People forget.”

Wireman,

I was afraid you’d say neither. Well put on everything else.

Let’s review the Auburn v USCarolina game quickly, shall we?

1st Qtr
- AU blows out USC, scores like a cute guy with a fat chick
2nd Qtr
- USC struggles, finally gets 3
- AU marches down field, embarasses USC by throwing to slowest reciever on field Trott, touchdown
- AU players had eyeballs on cute girls in stands, lets USC score. They are still 4 points down.
3rd Qtr
- AU marches down field like Sherman through the South, slowly and unstoppably. After about 40 plays, they get bored and let J. Vaughn kick it in. Then they let James Brown call a play… he thought they said what would you do to your wife now, he replied “…kick ’er in the side!!” So we called a bizarrro play and kept possesion longer than any team ever in the history of college football… the entire 3rd Qtr.
4th Qtr
- 2 plays, 1 touchdown yawn
- Will Muschamp is color blind, thinks he is playing LSU again… puts in his special defense – the “Charmin Special” – He basically says ‘let ’em do anything but score’ and the players back off. USC QB Newton has a spectacular drive (or two), performs better than anyone since Vince Young wore a college jersey, drives his little cocks down the field. At one point he throws DIRECTLY at an Auburn defender, who was so surprised he drops the pass. He finally succumbs to oxygen deprivation because so many people in the stands were gasping deeply each play and decides to launch the ball 20 yards… vertically…. when it comes down it hits the USC receiver on the helmet.
Game Over

One last note: On the last play of the game USC was playing to TIE the game, not to win it. They played catch up all night, never succeeded. Auburn dominates everywhere but in the minds of the media. Amen

Like a cute guy with a fat chick, eh?

Eyes closed, intoxicated, and hoping not to have to chew his arms off the next morning?

Futbawl Fan & Will:

In my day, if a dude used the words, “cute guy”, together, in public, that would be excuse enough to take it to the next level. (Translation: asses would be kicked.) Recomendation: Try to use more masculine words in your commentary.

Back to the topic, a win is a win is a win…and an ugly win is better than an pretty loss…..

But, when there is no playoff system and the national championship being somewhat a beauty contest, it does matters how you win and against whom…

Barely beating the Male Chickens from the South, should knock them out of the top 2, assuming the other teams in contention do well this weekend.

But, arguing with a cotton-picking Auburn fan is like arguing with blonde, gets you no where.

Though Clay Aiken is from North Carolina, is he a Cocks fan?