BLOGTOBERFEST: NC STATE URINE FETISH EDITION

by Orson on Sep 28, 2006 9:22 AM EDT

While the NC State athletic department attempts to disinfect several sections of the stadim and simulataneously decline the offer of R. Kelly to write "Wolfpack Mackin'", a new theme for the team featuring a rap by MC Red Shoes...we bring you this morning's edition of Blogtoberfest.

--Michigan hypermegamecha-tackle Alan Branch is the next Big Man Dance Challenge champion in training, according to Brian.

--Alabama players have gently suggested that Mike Shula should pass more. Or perhaps we can just say to hell with the gently bit:

"We can throw it on anybody if we want to," receiver Keith Brown said. "Make the play call."

At this point Joe Kines broke up the interview and alpha-rolled receiver Brown while Shula returned to a demanding game of World Of Warcraft, where his guild is both unstoppable and merciless.

--Coach Dennis Franchione and the Aggies are getting motivated for their upcoming first game against a real, live, non-quadraplegic opponent, Texas Tech. See, they do this activity to build trust where everyone lines up and falls into the outstretched arms of their co-workers. Then they visit a prison for motivation. Then they wear buttons that say "winner" or something like that. Then they all do a Polynesian dance.

Then they lose by thirty to Texas Tech.

--Gay tailgating. We bet the food and drink rock, though the continuous thumping disco does get a bit repetitive.

--Will Collier of In The Bleachers makes "ha ha funny old man look like corpse" jokes about Lou Holtz. We still laughed.

--Nestor has his predictably measured response to UCLA losing last weekend to Washington. Shockingly, his plan involves a coach getting fired.

***Late addition, but a necessary one: Peter runs down the whole dang ol' Big 12 in every way imaginable this week. And he's got an intern? Dude, you've got to hit that shit. Interns are eeeaaaaasy pickins'--it's like, you know, he who holds the key to the supply closet gets the tail, right? Wait--it's a dude? You hired a male intern? Well, you know, maybe you're experimenting. Not that there's anything wrong with that. We've seen Kinsey; sexuality is a spectrum, after all...***

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ummm… gay tailgating….

Wait!… what did I just say?

by Futbawl Fan on Sep 28, 2006 9:29 AM EDT reply actions

2006 ESPN Gameday Final: Night of the Living Corpse

Now on DVD!!!

by NewAZTiger on Sep 28, 2006 9:38 AM EDT reply actions

Franchione is such a douche. Not that I have any particular feelings for Texas Tech one way or the other, but I hope Viking captain Leach Ericson and his Red Raiders hang 70 on the Aggies.

by Doug on Sep 28, 2006 9:41 AM EDT reply actions

If Leach makes it rain mud, then the whole NC State watersport event will be forgotten faster than you can say fecophiliac.

by NewAZTiger on Sep 28, 2006 9:43 AM EDT reply actions

Alabama has had a little meltdown following a loss that could only be blamed on, uh, Alabama.

Sure, Shula will throw it MORE. Question is whether he’ll go five wide or not. I’m guessing not.

Please remember the moritorium on yelling at our kicker.

Thanks.

by Boclive on Sep 28, 2006 9:44 AM EDT reply actions

We are being lot more measured than those Florida fans Orson who got Zooke fired in the mid-season.

None of us are asking for a firing in the mid-season and in that post we are still holding out hope that Dorrell can meet the minimum expectations set for this season.

by Nestor on Sep 28, 2006 9:45 AM EDT reply actions

Alabama has had a little meltdown following a loss that could only be blamed on, uh, Alabama.

Sure, Shula will throw it MORE. Question is whether he’ll go five wide or not. I’m guessing not.

Please remember the moratorium on yelling at our kicker.

Thanks.

by Boclive on Sep 28, 2006 9:48 AM EDT reply actions

ok, i’m a huge ole miss fan, but i thought that this was pretty funny. enjoy, but beware of the ogeron.

http://dataweb2.datacompanies.com/cv/coach-o.mp3

by RaginCajunRebel on Sep 28, 2006 9:49 AM EDT reply actions

That was a holy crusade, Nestor, with glorious results.

by Orson Swindle on Sep 28, 2006 9:49 AM EDT reply actions

okay folks…. especially you Florida fans… here is the reason you have no chance to win on Saturday against Alabama… Leprechauns

http://youtube.com/watch?v=sDmOWYaQOZs

Be patient while you watch this 2 min video… so you can see the “special leprechaun flute”……… top that, Florida!!!

by Futbawl Fan on Sep 28, 2006 9:54 AM EDT reply actions

RajunCajunRebel – that is the funniest thing I have heard this month.

Gold, Jerry, Gold.

by NewAZTiger on Sep 28, 2006 9:57 AM EDT reply actions

Thanks NewAZ. I nearly pissed myself at my desk when they hit the chorus.

Ahh, good times.

by RaginCajunRebel on Sep 28, 2006 10:03 AM EDT reply actions

We made a strategic decision to go after Boi From Troy’s stranglehold on the gay American college football fan.

All eleven of ’em.

by Peter Bean on Sep 28, 2006 10:17 AM EDT reply actions

Futbawl Fan,

As a resident of Mobile, I shook and continue to shake my head every damn time I see that video. Not the publicity you want for your hometown. My personal belief is that a dealer forced a crackhead into a tree for some rock. When I think of Mobile, leprechauns are not the first thing that comes to mind.

On a side note, the composite photo doesn’t look a damn thing like anyone from Crieghton. If you lived here, you know what I mean. If any 3 foot tall Irishmen went there the would be running butt naked back up Springhill Avenue without that pot o’ gold.

Roll Tide!

P.S. The drawing was sold on Ebay for charity. Someone actually paid $1,200 for that shit.

by Cool Hand Mike on Sep 28, 2006 11:07 AM EDT reply actions

Mr. Collier’s funnies on Lou are pretty good. But I must point out his assertion that Mr. Spurrier was probably not the only football coach hired to gain access to a golf course. I think that the relocation of the golf course at Notre Dame to the same side of campus as the football offices was a deciding factor on Mr. Willingham’s decision to spend a few years at Notre Dame playing golf. I’m sorry. I meant to say coaching…

by dbldomer7375 on Sep 28, 2006 11:13 AM EDT reply actions

PS I’m not stereotyping anyone. White folks doen’t see leprechauns, we see UFOs.

by Cool Hand Mike on Sep 28, 2006 11:14 AM EDT reply actions

if white folks don’t see leprechauns – then who the heck does? translucent ones? peaches and cream? y’all might not see ’em now – but your great great great great grandaddy Finbar McLaughlin sure did.

Hey, we’re having our annual Oktoberfest tailgate this weekend – complete with beer, beer brats, beer cake, beer battered fried stuff and a beer hoisting competition.

by PSUgirl on Sep 28, 2006 11:46 AM EDT reply actions

I’m glad to see that Nestor is still around. After we lost the Lsuoverusc guy I was wondering if Nestor was going to disappear too. Looks like they are indeed different guys just with similar schtick and symptoms.

Nestor, if a doctor does try and get you to stay away from the internets, don’t listen!

http://lsuoverusc.blogspot.com/2006/09/farewell.html

by oc phil on Sep 28, 2006 12:02 PM EDT reply actions

I think that it was two years ago that Franchione got the players to show their unbridled devotion to The Program by having them sign pledges to not…

…wait for it…

drink sody pops, so committed were they to conditioning and their teammates. Dennis then destroyed the whole point of the exercise by removing the soda machines from the athletic buildings, so the attempt to internalize the attitude “there’s the sugar water machine, but I’ll forego because I’m committed” transmutes into “I’m not drinking soda water because some jackass took all the buildings out of the building.”

by KongHorn on Sep 29, 2006 12:34 AM EDT reply actions