Real life intervenes, so light posting until 3ish. Enjoy THRB’s nice setup of the best on-air meltdown you will ever hear.
By the way, did anyone else ever put an NWA or 2 Live Crew tape into a Teddy Ruxpin for fun? If you haven’t, do it immediately. You may die from the laughter.
I’m like a freak in heat, a dog without warning…
Orson Swindle and Stranko Montana are two men pushing thirty who should know better than to run a college football blog, but evidently don't. Both graduated from the University of Florida, and both agree that college football is far too important to be left to the professionals.
Comments? Questions? Long strings of profanities directed at something we said? Please send your comments to harumphharumph -a- yahoo -dot- com. Please direct all tailgating photos and stories to edsbsfans -a- gmail -dot- com.
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1
Geaux Irish says:
Orson, you are a grown man (age only, not in personality).
Please sir. Put. Down. The Ruxpin.
September 27th, 2006 at 12:49 pm
2
Doug says:
He sounds like he’s on the verge of tears from the very first mention of Drew Stanton’s name.
“Son, we live in a world that has stadium sections, and those stadium sections have to be fired up by men with vocal chords. Who’s gonna do it? You? I have a greater responsibility than you could possibly fathom. You weep for Stanton, and you curse the Irish. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives. I GOT THOSE PEOPLE IN MY SECTION UP OFF THEIR OLD ASSES AND CHEERING! YOU DON’T WANT THE TRUTH BECAUSE DEEP DOWN IN PLACES YOU DON’T TALK ABOUT AT PARTIES, YOU WANT ME ON THAT WALL, YOU NEED ME ON THAT WALL! PUCKER PUCKER PUCKER!”
September 27th, 2006 at 12:57 pm
3
Kevin says:
Does anyone else think he sounds like Matt Foley, motivational speaker?
MSU fans, your tears are sweet and delicious.
September 27th, 2006 at 1:19 pm
4
TomB says:
My God, I can’t tell you how this has cleansed my soul.
Schadenfreude, indeed.
September 27th, 2006 at 1:37 pm
5
maskedavenger says:
It is nice to know that I am not alone in having momentous losses bring me do a very dark emotional place.
September 27th, 2006 at 1:51 pm
6
Phil K. says:
That bear freaked out me enough when I was a little kid without having it channel Luther Campbell.
So now I’m going to have nightmares about that radio guy’s voice and Teddy Ruxpin singing “Baby Baby Please (Just a Little More Head)”.
September 27th, 2006 at 2:06 pm
7
Lono says:
A friend of mine recently got a Teddy Ruxpin on ebay (where I also snagged a Mr. Bucket), and an old metallica tape makes him the greatest Teddy Bear of all time. I want to get Dave Chapelle’s R Kelly song for Ruxbin to sing at the next party.
September 27th, 2006 at 2:18 pm
8
JD says:
Can you actually choke on applesauce?
September 27th, 2006 at 2:27 pm
9
crazy tom says:
Of course, the following segment had the call-in portion of the show, and it just kept getting worse. Mike couldn’t talk, Terry got completely exasperated with him, and some jackass made a comment about shooting Mike’s father to put him out of his misery. At some point, Mike went home and took the day off yesterday. Today he was back whining about State getting screwed on the sideline call against Trannon (which I personally maintain was a makeup call for the fact that Ndukwe made a legal hit but was flagged for it).
September 27th, 2006 at 2:30 pm
10
Jeremy says:
The funny thing about that whole sequence that MSU fans are bitching about is that ND got the football back and Brady proceeded to throw an INT for a TD. So, they still got the freakin points!!
September 27th, 2006 at 3:06 pm
11
AUAlum says:
Somehow Michigan State has been able to improved three different teams over the last seven years.
LSU signs Saban, awakes the Beast that is LSU football, and wins National Title.
Louisville replaces the L with Petrino who creates a mini-Juggernaut, makes Tuberville a better coach, and is banking $2,500,000 a year.
Notre Dame gets a gift-wrapped $14,000,000 check from the BCS, and Quinn gets himself a ticket to New York in December.
What else could come from this Giving Tree?
September 27th, 2006 at 3:06 pm
12
crazy tom says:
ND does not get a $14,000,000 check- it has been knocked down to 4.5 (although, for some reason, ND gets 1 from the BCS when we don’t go to a BCS game, in addition to whatever other bowl payout we might get). thank you very much, Mr. White, you cost your school a potential 10 million this year. Nice to see you couldn’t bargain your way into a deal that pays off in your favor if you have more than one halfway decent year in 12.
September 27th, 2006 at 3:12 pm
13
The Contrarian says:
No audio file in the history of the known universe has ever summed up the decades of frustration felt by Spartan fans as well as that one just did.
My other favorite line was not uttered on Detroit sports radio on Monday, but during the game itself Saturday night. To quote Herbstreit after MSU QB Mike Stanton coughed up the ball in the fourth quarter, “if you watched Michigan State for the last 50 years, you know that this is why you’re Michigan State.”
Ouch.
September 27th, 2006 at 3:14 pm
14
Kecalf Bailey says:
Pucker pucker pucker!!!!?
34-17 at michigan 2 years ago
Pucker pucker pucker!!!!?
Fat man feeding pudding?
Almost as good as David Housel’s Vietnam/Nazi pre-Ironbowl speech from a couple years ago
September 27th, 2006 at 3:46 pm
15
JR says:
2 Live Crew also goes well with Alice in Wonderland. Seriously, it wasn’t just the acid.
September 27th, 2006 at 3:54 pm
16
Dave says:
Why are you in a shotgun in a monsoon?
Wait, that wasn’t rain — it was the tears of rage and frustration from many thousands of Sparties seeing their team piss away another victory.
September 27th, 2006 at 4:17 pm
17
Dave says:
P.S. The term for this around these parts is “Spartaneous combustion.”
September 27th, 2006 at 4:18 pm
18
Andrew says:
So, who’ll win the Redacted Bowl on Saturday?
September 27th, 2006 at 4:28 pm
19
JohnWA says:
Exactly Jeremy. Of all the spots in the game where MSU fans could complain about the playcalling from their coach or the actual play of their players, about Lambert getting “lucky” on his interceptions, etc. Yet they choose a sequence where they freakin’ score on a INT. What the hell is wrong with them?
Personally, I’d like to thank [NAME ALSO REDACTED] for being such a horrible coach that he let ND back in that game. Also for sending in the tape of the sideline hit and subsequent action on the sidelines. I’ll be waiting to hear the Big 1? referees apologize to ND for what should have been a non-call on Ndukwe.
September 27th, 2006 at 5:01 pm
20
Upper Midwest Joe says:
If you think an NWA / 2 Live Crew / Metallica-spewing Teddy Ruxpin is hard-core, take a look at this:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/15004927/
(Killer teddy bear behind deaths of 2,500 fish)
-Joe
September 27th, 2006 at 6:05 pm
21
Hook'em Tide says:
why apple sauce?
September 27th, 2006 at 6:37 pm
22
GatorSparty says:
Since when did a jackass from Brooklyn get so attached to the Spartan’s? Either BS or he lost 30k.
Jackhole.
September 27th, 2006 at 8:40 pm
23
Brian says:
Yea, Im gonna throw it in, and also hookup Rukpin’s friend, which as a youth I also had…it was a grub…called grubby. WORD.
September 27th, 2006 at 9:16 pm
24
captaineclectic says:
The Redacted Bowl will be easily won by [NAME ALSO REDACTED]. Sparty might pile up 60 points.
September 27th, 2006 at 10:43 pm
25
Tom says:
What I’d like to know is, who has an old Teddy Ruxpin doll and a 2 Live Crew tape just lying around to try this?
September 27th, 2006 at 11:10 pm
26
daviehamsufferer97 says:
Oh the tears of Unfathomable Sadness…
Your tears are so yummy and sweet!
September 27th, 2006 at 11:20 pm
27
Ensign says:
My name is Drew Henson and I LIVE IN A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER!!!!
September 28th, 2006 at 2:21 am
28
Haole says:
PUCKER PUCKER PUCKER!!!
Jeebus, this made my night. I wish LA had this guy covering the Bruins. I would die to listen to him giveh is opinion on Karl Dorrell.
September 28th, 2006 at 2:34 am
29
Phil the Brit says:
It would appear from the link below spotted on Boing Boing that mental meltdowns are the flavour of the week.
Here’s a (now former) UF professor demonstrating that the school has a ways to go in building a university of which the football programme can be proud.
http://www.boingboing.net/2006/09/27/video_apparentlybake.html
September 28th, 2006 at 4:50 am
30
KelleyCook says:
The most amazing part to me of this is that the ranter sounds like a fat jowled cheeked 50 year old downtrodden autoworker but is actually a fairly svelte 25 year old New Yawker.
http://images.radcity.net/5594/867449.gif
September 28th, 2006 at 10:12 am