LIGHT POSTING UNTIL THE AFTERNOON; GO LISTEN TO MAN LOSE MIND

Orson, you are a grown man (age only, not in personality).

Please sir. Put. Down. The Ruxpin.

He sounds like he’s on the verge of tears from the very first mention of Drew Stanton’s name.

“Son, we live in a world that has stadium sections, and those stadium sections have to be fired up by men with vocal chords. Who’s gonna do it? You? I have a greater responsibility than you could possibly fathom. You weep for Stanton, and you curse the Irish. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives. I GOT THOSE PEOPLE IN MY SECTION UP OFF THEIR OLD ASSES AND CHEERING! YOU DON’T WANT THE TRUTH BECAUSE DEEP DOWN IN PLACES YOU DON’T TALK ABOUT AT PARTIES, YOU WANT ME ON THAT WALL, YOU NEED ME ON THAT WALL! PUCKER PUCKER PUCKER!”

Does anyone else think he sounds like Matt Foley, motivational speaker?

MSU fans, your tears are sweet and delicious.

My God, I can’t tell you how this has cleansed my soul.

Schadenfreude, indeed.

It is nice to know that I am not alone in having momentous losses bring me do a very dark emotional place.

That bear freaked out me enough when I was a little kid without having it channel Luther Campbell.

So now I’m going to have nightmares about that radio guy’s voice and Teddy Ruxpin singing “Baby Baby Please (Just a Little More Head)”.

A friend of mine recently got a Teddy Ruxpin on ebay (where I also snagged a Mr. Bucket), and an old metallica tape makes him the greatest Teddy Bear of all time. I want to get Dave Chapelle’s R Kelly song for Ruxbin to sing at the next party.

Can you actually choke on applesauce?

Of course, the following segment had the call-in portion of the show, and it just kept getting worse. Mike couldn’t talk, Terry got completely exasperated with him, and some jackass made a comment about shooting Mike’s father to put him out of his misery. At some point, Mike went home and took the day off yesterday. Today he was back whining about State getting screwed on the sideline call against Trannon (which I personally maintain was a makeup call for the fact that Ndukwe made a legal hit but was flagged for it).

The funny thing about that whole sequence that MSU fans are bitching about is that ND got the football back and Brady proceeded to throw an INT for a TD. So, they still got the freakin points!!

Somehow Michigan State has been able to improved three different teams over the last seven years.
LSU signs Saban, awakes the Beast that is LSU football, and wins National Title.
Louisville replaces the L with Petrino who creates a mini-Juggernaut, makes Tuberville a better coach, and is banking $2,500,000 a year.
Notre Dame gets a gift-wrapped $14,000,000 check from the BCS, and Quinn gets himself a ticket to New York in December.
What else could come from this Giving Tree?

ND does not get a $14,000,000 check- it has been knocked down to 4.5 (although, for some reason, ND gets 1 from the BCS when we don’t go to a BCS game, in addition to whatever other bowl payout we might get). thank you very much, Mr. White, you cost your school a potential 10 million this year. Nice to see you couldn’t bargain your way into a deal that pays off in your favor if you have more than one halfway decent year in 12.

No audio file in the history of the known universe has ever summed up the decades of frustration felt by Spartan fans as well as that one just did.

My other favorite line was not uttered on Detroit sports radio on Monday, but during the game itself Saturday night. To quote Herbstreit after MSU QB Mike Stanton coughed up the ball in the fourth quarter, “if you watched Michigan State for the last 50 years, you know that this is why you’re Michigan State.”

Ouch.

Pucker pucker pucker!!!!?
34-17 at michigan 2 years ago
Pucker pucker pucker!!!!?
Fat man feeding pudding?
Almost as good as David Housel’s Vietnam/Nazi pre-Ironbowl speech from a couple years ago

2 Live Crew also goes well with Alice in Wonderland. Seriously, it wasn’t just the acid.

Why are you in a shotgun in a monsoon?

Wait, that wasn’t rain — it was the tears of rage and frustration from many thousands of Sparties seeing their team piss away another victory.

P.S. The term for this around these parts is “Spartaneous combustion.”

So, who’ll win the Redacted Bowl on Saturday?

Exactly Jeremy. Of all the spots in the game where MSU fans could complain about the playcalling from their coach or the actual play of their players, about Lambert getting “lucky” on his interceptions, etc. Yet they choose a sequence where they freakin’ score on a INT. What the hell is wrong with them?

Personally, I’d like to thank [NAME ALSO REDACTED] for being such a horrible coach that he let ND back in that game. Also for sending in the tape of the sideline hit and subsequent action on the sidelines. I’ll be waiting to hear the Big 1? referees apologize to ND for what should have been a non-call on Ndukwe.

If you think an NWA / 2 Live Crew / Metallica-spewing Teddy Ruxpin is hard-core, take a look at this:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/15004927/
(Killer teddy bear behind deaths of 2,500 fish)

-Joe

why apple sauce?

Since when did a jackass from Brooklyn get so attached to the Spartan’s? Either BS or he lost 30k.

Jackhole.

Yea, Im gonna throw it in, and also hookup Rukpin’s friend, which as a youth I also had…it was a grub…called grubby. WORD.

The Redacted Bowl will be easily won by [NAME ALSO REDACTED]. Sparty might pile up 60 points.

What I’d like to know is, who has an old Teddy Ruxpin doll and a 2 Live Crew tape just lying around to try this?

Oh the tears of Unfathomable Sadness…

Your tears are so yummy and sweet!

My name is Drew Henson and I LIVE IN A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER!!!!

PUCKER PUCKER PUCKER!!!

Jeebus, this made my night. I wish LA had this guy covering the Bruins. I would die to listen to him giveh is opinion on Karl Dorrell.

It would appear from the link below spotted on Boing Boing that mental meltdowns are the flavour of the week.

Here’s a (now former) UF professor demonstrating that the school has a ways to go in building a university of which the football programme can be proud.

http://www.boingboing.net/2006/09/27/video_apparentlybake.html

The most amazing part to me of this is that the ranter sounds like a fat jowled cheeked 50 year old downtrodden autoworker but is actually a fairly svelte 25 year old New Yawker.

http://images.radcity.net/5594/867449.gif