ALABAMA IS A HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE PLACE: GLORY DAYS WITH MIKE DUBOSE!

I guess you’re saving the video of the loss to Northern Illinois (in Tuscaloosa) for later in the week.

Yeah, that one still stings. What do you do? Knock it down. What do you do? Knock it down. What didn’t they do? Knock it down.

And I’m sure you are expecting this, so I’ll do it anyway…

Yeah, maybe we lost to La Tech, but you lost to us TWICE that year, so what does that say? 31-3! YEEAAHHH ROOOLLLL TIIIIDDDEEE WHOOOOO!

I remember uf having some problems of their own of the miss. state variety.

You can’t help yourself, Tater Salad. Neither can we.

The greatest game of the [NAME REDACTED] era, because it ended it.

http://loserwithsocks.blogspot.com/2006/09/hey-gheightors.html#links

IJ,
Bear is with Jesus now

It must hurt deeply to know that Spurrier the Great was 0-2 against Dumbose. Fear the “Rammer Jammer”!

I friggin hate You Tube, we knew that one was coming you bastard, and they WERE good that year, that was the year Terry Bradshaw was their qb.

How does the SEC Champion lose to La. Tech? There was another mind-boggling loss that year, too. Was it Central Florida?

Well, they beat Bama and Bama beat UF twice, so that means a Supperior coached team sucked La Tech’s Ass.

Face it, your god failed you that day in gainsville. He sent back a punt returner when the situation clearly called for letting the ball roll where it may and going to a knee. Shula learned the hubris that got Prothro hurt by watching Spurrior’s teams on the news down there in SFLA.

Nevermind. C. Fla. was the next year when the Tide went 3-8. 3-8??

You don’t get to sing any songs at all to celebrate victory over the Tide, now do you ?

Wow, hard to imagine that your best coach ever was unable to beat our worst coach ever.

For all who care, and those who don’t, I’m going on a three-day fan odyssey that’s sure to test my willpower, arteries, liver and fight-or-flight instinct.

That’s right:
Walking among drunk Auburn fans for the first time in my life at the Carolina-Auburn game, then…jetting down in my Saturn to Gainesville for Revenge Bowl ’06, among the jorts and Trans Ams.

Will I get hammered? Yes. Will it be documented? Absolutely. Will I interview drunk Auburn fans and try to piss them off by questions involving Tuberville and their inferiority complex? You bet.

Will I be sent to the emergency room with a solid ass-kicking by fans wearing orange and blue in two states in less than a week? TBA.

The Tide is truly back…our 13th NC might be this year…but definitely 2007…the traditions of winning with intergrity and class is what we’re about…not like those hoodlum, grade-fixers across the state. BAMA’s BACK!!!

I heard Bear’s hanging out with Brunetto Latini in the 7th circle (and let’s just say he didn’t kick someone’s ass the first day)

…like getting a fifteen dollar angioplasty from a street vendor before spending another twenty bucks for an actual deep-fried slice of Freddie Kitchen’s buttocks served to you by the man himself. (Ahhh, tastes like…interceptions, most likely.)

That is some seriously funny shit. But if that mediocre excuse for a quarterback did nothing else, he did lead a last-second comeback to beat Auburn in ’96. Huzzah for mediocrity!

And then Freddie’s most famous pass:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=PibNHp9Gz9U

You rat bastard.

YouTube threadjack!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7iyeE-VvOs4

I think that sick orange shadow behind the AU numerals that year weighted Takeo Spikes down, and he couldn’t overcome the “Riddle-Slash.”

In my staggered condition, I couldn’t see all to well from the Gary Hollingsworth seats I was in so I found a buddy of mine who had 1st row seats dead in the middle of the La Tech fan section.

As I made my way to my seats(houndstooth hat and all), I talked much smack. Their 1st string QB went down and I started hollering," Get a vet we have a bulldog down."

The next 3 minutes all led to that final play and I had to gather my shit as well as all of my pride and leave. They were very courtious and patted me on my back and said," Maybe next year."

As mindblowing as it is, Kitchens is now the TE coach for the Dallas Cowboys and apparently has a bright future ahead of him in the NFL. Buffets in and around Tuscaloosa County just breathed a sigh of relief.

The funny thing is that I was screaming at the TV, “Screen pass to the middle, you idiots! It’s wide fucking open!” Thankfully, they heard my advice and took it to heart. So, never say yelling at the TV doesn’t do any good.

Just because you set it up for us…

UF… tradition of Wake Forest; arragonce of Alabama… wear it…

(and yes, poetic justice allowed me to substitute Alabama)

No one approaches the arrogance of Alabama.

Who the fuck else claims a national championship when you finished 3rd in your conference and were ranked #20 in the AP poll?

They just built some statues for their amusingly named “Walk of Champions” (which, BTW, hasn’t had any champions walk down it) where they commemorate the 1941 MNC.

Hey, at least we aren’t like Auburn, whose only national championship was won on probation.

OHHHHHH, SNAP!

Hey NewAZTiger, How did AU do in 1941?
You don’t have a fucking clue do you? No one does, cause no one has ever given a shit about Auburn Football.
Sad that off the top of your head you can remember how good Bama was in 1941, which I am assuming is before you were born.
And you say we live in the past…
I hope fans of other schools see this and realize what a pathetic inferiority complex these people have; they beat us 4 years in a row now and still can’t get over it.

Well maybe we can all be like Auburn and claim co-West Championships every year and raise flags acknowledging their co-titles in years like 2001, where they didn’t even make it to Atlanta.

This may be the funniest thread in the history of the internet of the century. I don’t know if you have to apply for access, or sign up for scout, or any dumb shit like that, but everybody needs to read this…now.

http://mb28.scout.com/fmiami20779frm1.showMessage?topicID=143704.topic

freddy kitchens. they should make a trivial pursuit game called “name sec players of the 90’s”

All the smack talk before the game is fine, but we are officially asking that the fans at the game NOT yell at our kicker, as it makes him nervous. Thank you.

Shula’s bringing the kicker?

Kecalf,

People have cared about Auburn football since it started. Just because you’re fabled “Bahr” had so much hatred and resentment towards them that he constantly berated them and used every opportunity he could to steer both the legislature and the press away from Auburn doesn’t mean Auburn doesn’t matter.

As a university they’ve had to go through a lot more.

But Alabama…no Alabama is still the smaller school in the state.

It still has the machine runs its political offices.

It still has hope that the Bear was Jesus and will soon rise and return their football team to glory

It still retroactively claims National Championships (to quote your patron saint of Football “If a laundremat in Tuscaloosa wants to claim us number one, we’ll take it”

It still takes their nickname from a game they were destroyed by Auburn.

It still pays players.

IT STILL SUCKS.

I don’t like the “English Pedophile-now languishing in a Vietnamese Prison” song, either.

Has your team ever been referred to by the world’s greatest jazz/rock fusion band named after a metallic talking dildo in “Naked Lunch” by William Burroughs-a beat generation icon, bonafide degenerate, and heir to an adding machine fortune?

That is the true measure of iconic greatness..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wCIa8ZTmNC0

This is a superior (and longer) clip….

Steely Dan: Deacon Blues..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=syP7S_qtKHU

Maybe .38 Special will pay homage to the Gators someday and I’ll have to shut the fuck up.

I rest my case.

NCAA says 17 but you’re lucky we only claim 12!

I always thought Freddie Kitchens might have easily been a three time All-American if he had played right guard.

Love ya! Mean it!

http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4217/2699/1600/low_44620beb0ff641a.1.jpg

NCAA says zero. Hence the “M”

I went to high school with Kecalf and everyone called him Kelf. A better name would be Antoneyo Williams; the best high school RB in Alabama history.

Samford -

Alabama fans obviously do not put Bear and Jesus on the same level. Jesus didn’t beat Auburn 9 times in a row, and Jesus didn’t win 6 national championships.

Just as a preemptive, yes, this post is a joke.

Wow, between the youtube links and the UA/AU back and forth, this thread may be the most signficant conergeance of nerd and redneck since…..well….the last GT/UGA game. Awesome!

Clemson.

People!

We need to focus on the team at hand. Alabama had better worry about Florida. Auburn will get their chance too.

Damn, this is like the Crips and the Bloods. We try to find a reason to unite against a common foe and then one does a drive by on the other’s grandmomma’s house and we start all over again.

Lets settle the Auburn/Alabama debate once and for all! Which school has the most hot women?

If ND counted like Bama counts, we’d have 21.

Yeah, that’s right—even ND fans think Bama fans are unbelievably arrogant. But hey, here’s hoping the Tide wins the SEC this year, because ND would administer a 1987-style beatdown on the Tide in the Sugar Bowl.

NoleinTexas: Jeff Bowden.

Now that he’s curled in a fetal position having cold sweats, we can resume with the previously scheduled blood-feud.

The Tide has several 1987 style beatdowns on its schedule. The only way they make the Sugar Bowl is if Shula buys them tickets to attend.

Hasn’t Alabama already claimed the 2007-2010 MNCs in those totals?

Hazer,

Please!

Auburn – Mrs Lovey Howell

Alabama – Ginger Grant

The MNC debate is absurd. Yes, some MNCs Alabama claims are a bit questionable. I personally hate that Alabama claims 1941. But anyway you slice it, Alabama has a lot more MNCs than a lot of other programs. I will take being recognized for a MNC any day over not being recognized at all. What does it really matter anyway?

And captaineclectic-
Claim that 1966 MNC don’t you? Yeah, that’s not arrogant at all.

Oh, we all have our demons. I have He Who Shall Not Be Named. Bama Has Dubose. UF has the Zookie Monster (L is for loser, which is good enough for me!).

Auburn, Florida, and Notre Dame fans unite to heap ridicule on Alabama fans. Orson Swindle: a uniter, not a divider.

Counting NC’s is a little screwy. But, if we go by the NCAA official record book (and I’m not making this up), we see the following totals:

Auburn — 4 (yes, count ’em, 4) titles — interestingly, not one of them is from 2004.

Alabama — 16 — that’s right, the NCAA actually credits more NCs to UA than UA does itself

Notre Dame — 21 — just like captaineclectic says (though his idea that it’s how “Alabama counts” is a bit overstated)

This thread is turning into a bad episode of CrossFire.

Just FYI, the link to the NCAA record book is:
http://www.ncaa.org/library/records/football/football_records_book/2006/2006_d1_football_records_book.pdf

Perhaps you could just turn it into an old installment of “Even Steven” from the Daily Show.

Alabama?

NOOO!!!

We are unranked. We lost to ARKANSAS. I am not claiming any national titles or sec titles or third in the sec west titles.

Do NOT yell at our kicker. That is all.

Samford Hall
You are wrong.
Alabama has a larger undergraduate enrollment than Auburn as of this year.
We tied you in the game we recieved our nickname from, sorry it isn’t as original as yours is, not everyone can be tigers. wait…
We don’t pay players still, you know the NCAA keeps too close a watch on us now for that.
What’s wrong with the machine? The popular vote has won every SGA election in school history, if greeks care more about SGA than other people than so be it, we only make up 19% of the student body.
Most all of the NC’s we got are deserved and the early ones that AU fans think we don’t deserve in the ‘20s and ’30s were actually important in putting southern football on the map.
We retroactively claim national championships we were given by smaller polls that are unexistent today, the football polling landscape was alot different then than it is now and we could argue this for eternity, but what is known is that if Bama “Still sucks” than AU is still “Not even a factor” when talking about good college football programs.
Doesn’t Georgia Tech have as many SEC championships as Auburn?

ahh the “rammer jammer” video…couldn’t help but notice the 4 man defensive front, before kines lost his mind and started running this 3-3-5 crap they’ve been in this season. 3-3-5 is a WAC defense, the spread is a WAC offense, we know the success Urban had there.

Florida will fucking shred us on the ground. And then on third and long Kines will switch from the 3 man front to four wide and Leak (or worse yet Tebow) will pull a 25 yrd qb draw out of his ass.

NCAA awards zero national championships in footbaw.

http://www.ncaa.org/champadmin/ia_football_past_champs.html

The listing they have is just an incomplete compilation of other sources – mostly computer and opinion polls. Those computers are sneaky too… For example, in 2003, Sagarin’s MNC (yeah, he’s a BCS computer) spit out 2 loss USC over undefeated Ohio State.

s/2003/2002.

matt,

Kines installed the 3-3-5 last year for the UF game and employed it often in the game. Worked rather well.

NewAZ,

No shit? I guess that cost AU the half national title they claim from 1957? Sucks for you guys.

Anyone know if SMU actually claims any of 35/81/82? Looking at that NCAA page they pretty much lead in the itty bitty pieces category.

We pride ourselves on hating everyone

http://loserwithsocks.blogspot.com/2006/09/hey-gheightors.html

I have a feeling that no matter what stats and arguments are presented on this thread, that no ones mind will be changed even in the slightest. Example:

Auburn Fan: “You’re right Bama, we don’t deserve the 03 NC.”

Bama Fan: “Interesting point. I concede the 66 season to Notre Dame.”

04, whoops

I don’t know whose argument I’m helping, but in any event alot of folks don’t realize that back in the old days bowl games were considered consolation prizes and national championships were awarded prior thereto or without reference thereto, hence that championships for teams that later got waxed in a bowl.

Orson, is this you?

http://loserwithsocks.blogspot.com/2006/09/orson.html#links

It is rather interesting that the NCAA’s site only noted the BCS champion in 2005. Perhaps we’re moving closer to an official NC…

Notre Dame is the 1966 national champion according to the AP, Billingsley, DeVold, Dunkel, FB N e w s , FW, Helms*, Litkenhous, Matthews, National Championship Foundation, NFF*, Poling*, Sagarin, and the UPI (which is now the ESPN/USA Today).

In contrast, Alabama claims 1973 as one of its 12 "national championships, despite going 11-1 with a lose to an undefeated Notre Dame team in the Sugar Bowl, 24-23.

In short, Bama has no leg to stand on in crying about 1966, as it claims a title in a year it ACTUALLY LOST to the real champion, Notre Dame. Only Alabama could do that.

Oh, and NewAZTiger, I know that the Tide won’t be anywhere near New Orleans. But since that’s looking like a possible place for my boys, I have to root for a beatable opponent, right? I fear Auburn, Florida, and LSU a lot more than I fear Tennessee, Alabama, or Georgia.

Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ people!!!

We have gators to beat this weekend. IGNORE THE IDIOTS FROM AUBURN AND ND ALREADY!!!

CONCENTRATE!!!! We’ll worry about the tigers and (increadibly lucky) Irish later.

Let’s just agree on this…

no one sucks more than UT (both of them)

Alabama…got no real problems with. I’ve met classless Alabama fans but 90% didn’t go there. They just live in the state.

Same with Florida State fans.

As for Gator fans…y’all run the gamut from crazy redneck, mullet trash to high class bull gator and insanely smart med students. I’ve met em all. Total cross section of America.

This is exactly what Orson was hoping for… he’s seen enough of these to know that Auburn fans would hijack the post and distract us from getting ready for Saturday.

irishjihad…you are a dumb fuck, they used a 4 man front 90% of the game

shula has recruited too many fucking dbs…maybe they’re just going with what they have

I just read that Prothro had a third surgery on his leg.
Bama fans should be almost as angry at Dr. Les Fowler for botching the surgeries as they are at Shula for leaving him in.
I’m afraid Prothro will never play again.

After interning for a doctor who saw the xrays and read all the reports, I am not expecting Pro to ever play again and definately never to be his old self.

Hey Alabama also claimed a split championship (AP)in 1978 when they lost head to head with USC (UPI champ).

USC got the nod in 2002 from the computers since they played an insane schedule and faced 9 ranked teams including Auburn, ND, Kansas State, and Colorado (back when the last 2 were still good teams).
But I have never heard anybody claiming that USC won the championship that year. It is mentioned in the media guide but not with the 11 “recognized” MNCs.
Overall that sort of thing is a good example of why computer rankings shouldn’t be given too much weight in the evaluation of teams.

They should have let Andrews or Lemak do the surgery.

captaineclectic

This is the last thing I’ll say about MNCs. I figured you would bring up ’73. I consider it pretty much a wash between those two years. But come on, you had Alabama winning a MNC in ’64 and ’65 (by either AP, UPI, or both), then going undefeated in the regular season and ND tying Michigan St., yet ND was awarded the MNC.

But right on RedTide, all concentration from here on out is on this weekend.

I think Bama can pull it out this weekend. It’s not that Alabama is that bad. I mean look at all the close games under Shula. It will come down to the kicking game again. If Shula doesn’t at least make it close (because QUITE FRANKLY Bama’s talent is not that much worse than Florida’s), then he will have proven that he can’t make adjustments and sucks as a head football coach. I’m not saying he has to win, but Alabama can compete with UF on a talent level. Depth may be a concern. Talent is not. It comes down to coaching.

I disagree with you about talent.
I’d rank SEC talent:
1. LSU
2. UGA and UF
4. AU
5. UT
6. UA
Don’t care about the rest.

AUAlum, I think you’re talking to me. Your rankings of talent closely parallel my rankings of “fear”—you swap UGA and AU. For whatever reason, though, I think ND could take Georgia—maybe because I watched a lot of that Colorado game.