In case you didn’t know, this week’s opponent is the football team from the University of Alabama. Before anything further is said, it must be remembered that this team gave Florida its worst loss of 2005 when a completely and totally unprepared Florida stepped over the piles of obese, uninsured, tank top-wearing corpses and into Bryant-Denny Stadium, where Demeco Ryans proceeded to have his unnatural way with Chris Leak for four quarters of football. We mention this to beat the tired but unfortunately true retort which will accompany any and all mentions of the game this week, which will sound something like “WOOO!! 31-3 Roll Tide YEAAAHHHH!!!!,” usually submitted by someone with an email address ending in “aol.com.”

That said, for this week the target will be Alabama, a horrible place filled with deplorable people doing despicable, lazy things. In that vein, we begin the week of taunting with something we will post every day at 5:30ish until Friday: the ad for “Alabama Man,” the worst action figure you will ever own.

He can bowl! He can drink! He can drink some more! Alabama MAAAAYUUN!