ALABAMA IS A HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE PLACE: ALABAMA MAAAAAN!

I thought I told you to shut up!!!

is it not enough that the man calling our plays has the IQ of a clump of dirt…yet, you still have to make fun

“aol.com”

Hiiiilarious!

As a native Alabamian, Swindle, I resemble that remark.

I am heading to gainesville on friday and hope to meet the edsbs gang this weekend so that i may thrash thee with my trusty houndstooth-painted bowling ball.

So you’re saying that this isn’t supposed to be a flattering comparison?

http://houserockbuilt.blogspot.com/2006/09/o-canadabama.html

You’re welcome to join the EDSBS tailgate, where we’ll be thrashing ourselves with a mallet made of vodka and tonic.

You know, Orson, I was just wondering when something was going to be said about the game. You never let me down.

We are heading to Gainesville this weekend. Looking for a good place to go Friday night. Suggestions?

We’ll have our guide up to Gainesville by Wednesday.

That’s the east side if I’ve ever seen it.

Tuscaloosa is all about khaki Dockers, buttoned up shirts and the look of wiping your nose with a powdered donut.

Roll Tide!

As a native Alabamian, you would “resemble” that remark.
Anyway, it’s good to see some friendly trash talk for the game. Orson ought to get some revenge for all the “31-3” comments and Bama-AU threadjacks. I’m looking forward to watching, although it sucks that Prothro’s out.

"We really want to get into Florida and skin their gators," Alabama quarterback John Parker Wilson said. "Make some boots in the cobblery. Steel toed with a little crimson color, smooth hide and mayonnaise."

Don’t forget the mayo.

To add a bit of talk from the Bama side, Florida fans will see the real reason Tebow chose them, when John Parker Wilson’s throws all over the Gator Secondary and everybody realizes that he won’t lose his starting job until the fall of 2009. That and Alabama’s offense suceeds despite the Shula/Rader coaching combo, but I digress. RTR!

HHHüürrRRRRRRRRn hhhh! HHHurrRRRRR RRRn hhhh.HHHüürrRRRRRRRRn hhhh! HHHurrRRRRR RRRn hhhh.UüüHHHGGG-rrrrRRR! huurrrrrr! uhhn. HHHurrRRRRR RRRn hhhh.UüüHHHGGG-rrrrRRR! huurrrrrr! uhhn.

WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! ROLL TIDE ROLL!!!!! WOOOOOOOOO!!!! 31-3!!!!!!!! BEAR BRYANTS GONNA WHIP THAT GATOR ASS LIKE I WHIP YO MOMMA!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! GATORS WEAR JEAN SHORTS!!!! BITCHES!!!!!!

3 essentials of a UF fan’s game ensemble:

1. Jorts (any style or brand will do)

2. Hair gel… and lots of it…

3. Gold Chain… although the Bama Nation can’t say much w/ MC Mike Shula killing your brain like a poisonous mushroom…

The Tide Nation looks forward to invading Gainesville, where we will steal all of your women who are wooed by our home-made tank tops and incredible farmers tan… RTR

Those are hard to resist.

I’m torn by this post; do I defend my native soil or join in with the Gators to mock my great enemy?

where will the tailgate be occuring. i’ll be finishing my LSAT around 1:00, so i’m planning on getting my v & t on right after.

adam, you’ll be done around 2:00 pm.

Alabama is the Michigan of the South.

20-10 gators. Florida scores first and the lead stays just large enough to keep it from being a good game. Shula will never be dominated or dominant. It’s only fitting that hes catholic because I swear our program is in football purgatory right now.

#12. Tim Tebow would bitchslap John Parker Wilson so hard he’d think about dropping the queer three name thing and go John Wilson from there on out. You can only go by three names if the middle one is Oquendo.

it’s times like this i’m glad i had the forsight to flunk out of bama my sophmore year.

#22

Well met, and touche’. The 3 name business is silly. But I’d wait until golden boy completes 3 passes before singing his praises. Besides, JP’s little brother Ross already bested him last year.

As a brief teaser to Orson’s ‘Gainesville Guide’, allow me to suggest the Salty Dog Saloon. Surly service, underage coeds, cheap beer and whisky, and a fine (read ‘smoke-filled’) atmosphere all contribute to a delightful experience on Friday’s and Saturday’s. I’m there every Friday afternoon, you glorious bastards.

Orson, as a former resident of Columbus, GA I enjoy all slights against the greasy cesspool that is Alabama. But aren’t you from Tennessee? Isn’t this whole post really like a Korean women making fun of how a Vietnemese woman drives?

2? damn. this is a shitty week. i had to ride my bike back home in the rain after work, i have to study for the LSAT (using the Kaplan Method, to boot), and i have to spend the night in gainesville on a friday, but not go out, so that i can be fresh for my stupid test.

i’m getting tore up before the game.

Nah, you can never move in the Dog- head to Balls, tell Rock I said what’s up.

adam, studying for the LSAT is overrated. I winged it and here I am, at UF Law ignoring my Estates and Trusts homework in order to read EDSBS, dream of saturday, and watch Green Day turn into old men before my very eyes on ESPN

Balls always wrecks me out no matter what I drink – the result is still a massive, pain-addled morning and afternoon that cannot be controlled by bloody mary’s, fried chicken, or advil.

Though I do love the Italian Gator by the slice folks next door.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g1VCAqDyq1g

Liberace gay.

And Columbus, Ga. isn’t a cesspool? That’s not to say that I don’t agree, but without Atlanta, Georgia’s just a speed bump from Birmingham to Columbia.

Then again, without Birmingham, Alabama’s Mississippi without the casinos.

And I plan on writing a story on the EDSBS tailgate and try to sell it to the AJC or the G’ville Sun, so Orson — give me the heads up and I’ll get your jort-filled tailgate in print.

Mmmm, thanks for reminding me of one of my name’s connotations History-Ant.

you’re probably right. i took that damn kaplan class, and i’ve been doing really well. so i’m sure it’s not going to be awful. but i’d feel really guilty if i didn’t do well, and then thought that i should have paid more attention. i’m especially worried since i’m terrible in the mornings. they really should offer it in the afternoon for people who aren’t morning people.

There’s already an extant section in the Gville Sun that highlights outrageous or family-oriented tailgates – they have some serious issues regarding the exact point of the entire section. However, that might provide a forum for your efforts, Hack.

And, thankfully, I’ve never seen any of this in Tuscaloosa.

Adam—-you can always take the LSAT again in November…but alas, once you finish the test there are a few things you should know—-you’ll have to sit there for a bit after you’ve turned the test in. I recommend flasking during that time. That’s what I did and I scored 176. Of course I missed the first half of the 2004 GT-Miami Game in which Miami handed it to us 27-3.

I also flasked after the test was over, but alas, it only netted me a 161 =*(
My only real LSAT advice is to sign up on time. I signed up late, I had to take mine in Jacksonville, and sleep on a couch the night before.

adam,

I took my lsat on the day of the Bama-Florida game last year. Took it in Birmingham instead of Tuscaloosa because I knew staying there would not work out. Seriously considered getting a Rabbi to write the lsat people a letter because if you’re Jewish you can take it on Thursday. I’m not Jewish, though.

Don’t worry, I made it back for the second half (after the stadium quieted down a little). Sorry, dude, there’s nothing positive that can come out of this.

Italian — Yes, Rock is awesome… but clearly the coolest brother in that family is Russ. I mean, any man who brings his 9 year old to work and occasionally lets her work as bouncer is a badass. Bill’s alright, too.

Florida fans making fun of Alabama fans? Just get together and be one big laughing stock of the USA and fuck your cousins while bedazzling the shit out of your jorts.

I tell you what, Balls isn’t a place you want to be hanging around when you’re 19, let alone 9, but that girl’s pretty damn smart, so she should be ok- at worst she can take the place over when they all get thrown in the pokey (of which, Rock’s mugshot on the Fla DOC site is awesome)

That’s a poor depiction of how an Alabama man bowls. He would first have to pause, turn around, and go confer with his buddies about how The Bear would pick up the spare on a nasty split.

Go Cocks, btw.

“And Columbus, Ga. isn’t a cesspool?”

Who am I argue? There’s a reason why the town’s motto is “Thank God For Phenix City.”

Well, Alabama man is somewhat accurate. They should do a Florida man: a Cuban, gay, child molesting serial killer who works at Disney World. And wears jean shorts.

Way too harsh, David and untrue. Not all are Cuban.

Wow, gratuitous slams against my current (Alabama) AND former (Columbus, Ga.) places of residence in one comments thread. If someone would just get on here and shame Atlanta, Athens, and Lynchburg (Va.), you’d have my entire life past age 13 taken care of.

But I’m sorry, north Florida calling anyone else “rednecks” is a joke. Panama City? Lake City? Chipley, where you at? A trailer within walking distance of the beach is still a trailer.

To this Midwesterner, Florida looks like a combination of Lower Alabama, Disney World, South Jersey, and Havana Norte.

That must appeal to midwesterners, because they are invading like locusts.

The gag on Loveline isn’t called “Germany or Florida?” for nothing.

Salty Dog is the best of the bars on University, although that wouldn’t be saying a whole lot. The beer selection is better – that is to say there’s more that just Natty and Miller – and the jukebox actually plays some decent music.

That being said, every damn bar out there is the same: Dirty, run down, hot, waaaaayyyyy overcrowded, and filled with people who are too young to actually drink. Not that there’s a problem with drunk teenaged girls or anything. Balls just might be the seediest of the bars though, which I happen to enjoy.

As for comment number 49, I would say that Florida has a little San Francisco in it too, at least if you head down to Key West.

I’ll be there looking for the EDSBS tailgate as well.
It would be nice to drunken myself before the year long slaughter fiesta must come to an end.
Are there even any hotels in Gainesville?
I need a room for Friday night but can not find any.

Adam, this is why you take the LSAT in June. I did and got a 183. 183? Yep, bonus points bitches.

Was there a final ruling on the Marcus Thomas suspension?

We do not have anyone we can put in the shotgun for a designed run on 4th down and 4 and guarantee a first down. We just don’t.

Thing is, I don’t think we would if we could.

That’s in-no-va-tive, man.

Please ask your people to be quiet when our kicker is on the field. A lot of people yelling at him all at once makes him nervous.

Thanks.

Charlie Murphey, hotel rooms in Gainesville sell out about 6 months in advance for football games- you can try Ocala or Lake City, but those might be just as booked- or you can try the Bambi Motel, sometimes they have rooms open up a little early.

I can’t argue with Alabama mayuunn, but in all fairness, I’ve seen more “domestic disputes” in Florida on COPS than any other state. Florida has the market cornered on white trash.

There seems to be a disturbing number of attorneys/law students who read this blog. I hope all of you are billing someone while you are reading EDSBS.

Orson, you need to do something to upgrade your readership.

well, baconboy, i’m sure you’ll feel better about the fact that i’m currently not in law school. i will be this time next year, but not now. currently, i’m at work. i work for the state of florida. so, yes, i am messing around on the internet on your dollar. your tax dollars at work.

[….EDSBS has thrown down the smack gauntlet…]

Ramp Lady approves this thread

Roe Tiid

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I8Xgp5vtZAk

#20, it’s actually that Michigan is the South of the North. I took a geography class from this professor who had built his career on state based demographics. Every map looked the same… domestic violence, gun violence, alcohol abuse… they were all concentrated in the confederate states, Northern California, and Michigan. Every time. Exactly the same.

The only map that looked different was the one showing Elvis lovers. It looked like a divers flag with the white strip running from LA to NYC representing people who hated him, and the red panels representing people who loved him.

I was disappointed when I read Wisconsin was No. 1 in beer consumption. But at least in Michigan we have better beer.

Let’s face it, if it weren’t for Mississippi, Alabama would be dead last in the state rankings in every important economic, social, and educational demographic. Florida definitely hovers around the bottom 1/3, but I attribute some of that to being the catchall/drain of the U.S. As I was raised in the fine metropolis that is Lake City (#48 — Doug, I’m with you), I have witnessed more than my share of poor white trash. That also means I know what the hell I was looking at driving to and from Tuscaloosa last year, but alas, this blog is about football.

Florida will win this game reducing the Tide to battle it out in the SEC West cellar with Booming Croom and The Orgeron. We might even get to see Reggie “The Human Missile” Nelson decapitate DJ Hall.

All generalizations are false.

Detroit has the highest murder rate, Mississipi is last in everything. What do they have in common?

Everyone seems to study demographics while ignoring the demographics.

and that’s why you go to a secular private school.

I have a room………Thanks for the help.
Alabama is a nice place… sure it has some people who a not exactly up to the jeanshort standards but it a pleasant place.
I live in a county that is the crystal meth capital of the World(not bragging) and it is not in Alabama.
Can you guess what state it is in?

oh, that’s spartenburg, south carolina, right?

NO it is Lakeland Florida…………No wonder they have the best high School Football team in the nation.
All there players have steady jobs.
Street pharmicist.