MUSTACHE OF THE DAY: WARIO
We owe it to the boys at FireMarkMay.com, who reminded us of the second finest video game of the N64 era, might Mario Kart in a conversation the other day. (We hear Trev always claims DK in the office tournaments, which is soooo predictably Trev.)
It somehow grows in zigzag. It waggles when he laughs. It shakes in fury as he’s blown off the curves and valleys of Rainbow Road by flying red turtle shells. The Mustache of the Day goes to…
Wario.
WooooaaaaaAAAAGGGGGHHHH!!!
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1
Run Up The Score says:
Bong hits + MarioKart = My first senior year in college.
September 20th, 2006 at 3:01 pm
2
irishoutsider says:
The office chaos has spawned a makeshift MarioKart circuit around the central office using monkey-navigated dune buggies. Trev is racing as himself, throwing actual banana peels at rival drivers. He is still wearing the Snake Plissken eyepatch.
I’d try to talk some sense into them…but what’s the point….
September 20th, 2006 at 3:08 pm
3
Nick says:
Mario Kart is why I bought a GameCube, no regrets
September 20th, 2006 at 3:13 pm
4
Phil K. says:
MarioKart, everyone’s favorite game to abuse substances to. F the castle, though. I hate that course.
September 20th, 2006 at 3:14 pm
5
AUAlum says:
I assume Goldeneye is considered the best N64 game; spent hundreds of hours in Harper Hall playing that gem while mocking the kids playing Magic: The Gathering.
September 20th, 2006 at 3:22 pm
6
NewAZTiger says:
I’m worse than all of you.
I spent my third year of college playing Netrek in the Aerospace building.
September 20th, 2006 at 3:27 pm
7
Nick says:
turok wasn’t too shabby either
September 20th, 2006 at 3:28 pm
8
Orson Swindle says:
Astute, AUAlum. Our favorite settings: rocket launchers or proximity mines.
And we were always Grace Jones.
September 20th, 2006 at 3:29 pm
9
Franc Belgium says:
Props to Mario Kart… but it’s all about Tecmo Super Bowl.
September 20th, 2006 at 3:37 pm
10
AUAlum says:
If you had said any other game was better than Goldeneye, I was going to quit reading this blog and head over to The Huffington Post.
We played grenade launchers mostly and no one could be Oddjob. I usually went with Xenia Onatopp.
September 20th, 2006 at 3:41 pm
11
Mike says:
I’m Wario, I’m a gonna win
September 20th, 2006 at 3:41 pm
12
ChompEmGators says:
with Bond, it was always the Stack level. Paintball mode if chemicals were involved.
September 20th, 2006 at 3:46 pm
13
Odell 51 says:
Franc Belgium,
You are a scholar and a gentleman. Tecmo Super Bowl isthe greatest video game EVER.
September 20th, 2006 at 3:49 pm
14
Odell 51 says:
Just watch this and be amazed……
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hAAgfY_NHzw
September 20th, 2006 at 3:53 pm
15
Phil K. says:
Proximity mines are probably more entertaining, but remote mines offer a greater challenge and also foster a more rigorous mental geography of the game.
September 20th, 2006 at 4:28 pm
16
AUAlum says:
Some of the kids in my welding class video taped themselves beating Ocarina of Time on N64. They were the Lewis and Clark of YouTube.
September 20th, 2006 at 4:32 pm
17
Jack says:
Paintball mode, radar off, License to Kill mode. Only way to go. Agility, aim, awareness, knowledge of the levels: you need to all.
No one is ever allowed to be Oddjob, because every other character just shoots over his head.
Always avoid “power weapons” in these settings, because whoever gets the RCP-whatever blows everyone away.
Best weapon/level combos: pistols in the basement or grenade launchers in the temple. Rocket launchers in the complex was always fun, too. And kudos to whoever said remote mines were the creme of the weapons options. Proxy mines were best for when everyone is blitzed, though…
September 20th, 2006 at 4:41 pm
18
AUAlum says:
Only a serious Goldeneye player could give us the phrase “foster a more rigorous mental geography of the game.”
It goes without saying that you only play License to Kill, although I was never a fan of paintball mode. And no I never played by myself to practice bouncing grenades off the Temple walls.
September 20th, 2006 at 4:47 pm
19
Run Up The Score says:
Oh, I don’t mean to slight Goldeneye by any means. I was still playing it as of two years ago, though I have no idea where my N64 eventually ended up after the roommates split up.
Proximity mines and rocket launchers. It’s like we were separated at birth.
September 20th, 2006 at 4:52 pm
20
Run Up The Score says:
I would also like to add that, while I live with a living, breathing *girl* now, she does not fulfill my video game competition needs, and I know absolutely no guys in Denver since I only moved here three months ago.
This makes me very sad. “Tear running down the face of an Indian” sad.
September 20th, 2006 at 4:55 pm
21
spidernd says:
I used to beat my roommates in college while playing Mariokart with my toes. I’m not kidding.
September 20th, 2006 at 4:59 pm
22
Mosby says:
We played pretty much any way imaginable. I preferred knives only. Truly a gentleman’s pursuit.
September 20th, 2006 at 4:59 pm
23
Jack says:
Knives. Nice.
Sometimes, if we were especially wasted, we would play slappers only in the Facility, all get into different bathroom stalls, count down from 3, and then all emerge from the stalls slapping like a bunch of Rangers and Angels. No, none of us had girlfriends at the time.
September 20th, 2006 at 5:04 pm
24
AUAlum says:
RUTS,
I’m sure Carmelo would play with you. When he uses a cheat code to beat the Space Shuttle level, just make sure you don’t snitch.
September 20th, 2006 at 5:04 pm
25
Erik says:
Goldeneye was my First Love Freshman Year…Proximity Mines..Sweet!
The most fun you can have with three other dudes on a Sunday afternoon in the South.
September 20th, 2006 at 5:08 pm
26
Lion4Life says:
Siberian Special Forces in the complex….. practically invisible to the competition. Goldeneye is the reason I almost failed out of Penn State back in 99. (that and Yeungling and sorority girls). And Im in med school now!
September 20th, 2006 at 5:14 pm
27
The Clap says:
You don’t know that you are addicted to MarioKart until you come home from the bars and race Choco Mountain 46 times against your equally drunk roommate.
Proxi mines all the way, but don’t forget about Perfect Dark for 64 as an alternative. Halo put them all to shame in the end, because there is no better way to spend a snow day in Athen then by getting up at 8:30 picking up a couple of cases and hooking up 4 tvs and playing for 16 straight hours. Still one of my favorite days in college.
September 20th, 2006 at 5:17 pm
28
Run Up The Score says:
Mmmmm…Yuengling. I’m flying to Philly tonight, I’ll be sure to drink Yuengling Porter somewhere.
Yuengling hierarchy:
Porter
Black/Tan
Lager
Premium Light
Chesterfield
Premium
Oldest brewery in America, yo.
Oh, and I’ll be totally RUTSing the Great American Beer Festival next weekend in Denver. Mmmmm…beer.
September 20th, 2006 at 5:39 pm
29
Dawg 05 says:
Boris Grishenko. Lots of people didn’t know it, but Boris was about twice as fast as everyone else in the game. It was almost cheating to unleash his speed on unsuspecting players who fought over who got to be Bond.
Jaws was also a “cheap” character if you could get a Magnum. He almost always got a headshot because he holds the gun at head level.
Grenade Launchers, License to Kill, Complex. Absolute carnage.
September 20th, 2006 at 6:04 pm
30
jaybuzz says:
Who the fuck ARE you people??
Orson, please limit video game references in the future, as it tends to expose the true nature of your fanbase.
September 20th, 2006 at 6:39 pm
31
JacketDan says:
You mean as opposed to all of the other nerdy shit we talk about on here?
September 20th, 2006 at 7:05 pm
32
jaybuzz says:
well… yeah.
September 20th, 2006 at 7:07 pm
33
Brandon Lang says:
Tecmo Bowl Bo Jackson: greatest athlete ever
September 20th, 2006 at 9:18 pm
34
Dawg 05 says:
I’ll go ahead and say that blogs like this probably attract the nerdier college football fans, as opposed to the booger-eating, rasslin-lovin, jorts-wearin, BigNRich’n college football fans.
Just a hunch.
September 20th, 2006 at 9:19 pm
35
Brandon Lang says:
And I made that last post BEFORE I watched the YouTube above.
September 20th, 2006 at 9:20 pm
36
Chris says:
Complex/ PISTOLS DAMNIT!/ Sights and AutoAim off! LTK
(I will say that Proximity was fun placing them under walkways but remote mines were more satisfying whenever you set them off at just the right time. Great feelings inside.)
I cant even begin to describe my godness with pistols and sights off. Me with a PP7 was as good a sniper rifle without the scope.
Such fond memories.
1 last thing. Its not that we are the “nerdy” side of college football fans. I was in the 8th grade when that game came out. Practically still a kid. Maybe its me in denial. I dont know.
September 20th, 2006 at 10:23 pm
37
GPace says:
I’m still listing “earned invincibility code in Goldeneye” as my greatest accomplishment ever
September 20th, 2006 at 11:46 pm
38
Dawg 05 says:
mmmmm… 2nd level in under 3:50… invincibility…
September 21st, 2006 at 1:12 pm