FOOTBALLPOCALYPSE: THE ABCS OF AN EPILEPSY-INDUCING WEEKEND
by Orson on Sep 18, 2006 12:05 PM EDT
Email
PrintA is for ADD: If we didn't have it going into this weekend, we certainly have it coming out of the media overload. Saturday began with round-robin spinning of the channels between Michigan/Notre Dame, Miami/Louisville, and LSU/Auburn. The rotation became a little easier when Michigan put the game out of reach, which seemed to happen sometime in the first five minutes, leaving Tom Hammond to twiddle his thumbs and spend the better part of three quarters constructing hopeless comeback scenarios for the Irish.
The evening got worse: we went to a bar where even our laserlike focus on Gators/Vols was interrupted by the presence of thirty thousand televisions showing flickering images of Dwayne Jarrett embarrassing Nebraska DBs, Jeff Bowden calling the 'Noles into the ground against Clemson, and North Carolina nearly dropping a game to Furman. If we didn't need Strattera before this weekend, we're filling our scrips today.
B is for Bombardment, as in Naval. Huzzah to Navy: 37-9 over Stanford in the opening of their new stadium, which they promptly leveled with 367 yards rushing. Adam catches the announcer in the greatest on-air comment of the weekend:
12:28- The announcer just made reference to the song "Feels like the First Time," for the opening of Stanford's new stadium. He then proceeded to say, "the first time hurts." Awkward silence ensues.
All this was made better by the fact that Bill Walsh was calling the game and refused to give Navy an iota of credit. Walsh later returned home to find his home demolished by a cruise missile.
Bill Walsh returns to find his car..."appreciated" by Navy fans.
C is for Crapulent, as in officiating. See Bob Stoops. At least in the Florida/UT game the bad officiating landed fairly evenly (SEC officiating: if you're gonna call it wrong, just make sure it's all wrong!) Oregon rolled three sevens in a row, luckwise, landing onside kicks, pass interference calls, and caught a fly with a pair of chopsticks on the way to beating Oklahoma on some of the shakiest calls ever backed up by even worse replay work. Only missing from the scene: the refs exiting the field, slipping on banana peels in unison, and then each backing out in unison into each others bumpers in wacky fashion. Cue instant karma for Oregon, who will have something equally grievous befall them somewhere down the line, like a player running into a suddenly gaping pit of fire on the way to a sure touchdown or other act of god.
D is for Doink. John Vaughn, Chris Hetland, Paul Martinez...all three had abysmal weekends at the game's most loathed position. At least Martinez made a kick that bounced off the crossbar and in for a field goal. Of course, he's also the only one of the three who lost their game. John Vaughn will never kick against LSU again, which just added five years to his life expectancy.
E is for Entropy. Hope springs eternal in football, and for some of the most sinister reasons, included the dreaded 'e' word, entropy. Keeping the dust off a machine like the Miami Hurricanes requires a surgeon's precision combined with a manic salesman's knack for gauging the sell to recruits. At this point, evidence points to Larry Coker being just a competent, earnest mechanic, because all Miami's ranks are broke, and they lay driven on the field. The fifteen people who mourn this, please take a moment of silence for yourselves; the remainder of Hurricane fans can switch hats and go root for another team. We hear Michigan's pretty hot this year--perhaps they'll do.
F is for Flan. Egg Custard doesn't get enough credit these days. Not football related, but we just thought flan deserved a shout-out, since we're pretty sure Trick Daddy will never give it one.
Flan. It's good.
G is for Galling, as in the performance of the ACC as a whole. FSU and Miami are twin Romes burning, Clemson's sketchy, UNC is mediocrity, powder-blue variety, Wake Forese, Duke...only Virginia Tech looks solid through all three phases of the game, and even they'll do something late to blow their cover. (They almost always do.) Worst loss comes via the 2006 usual suspect: USM slaughtered NC State at home, and Chuck Amato reaches deep in the bag of condescending sunshine for this one:
"We're starting a new season. Those kids are pretty cranked up."
If he means excited, well, take his word, we suppose. But if he means zonked on crystal meth, that definitely can't be true, since NC State hasn't played with anything close to the enthusiasm of a opium eater, much less a meth addict.
H is for Humble. Watching Lloyd Carr following his team outclassing Notre Dame was outright moving. A podium; a man looking fresh from a shower, dressed in slightly rumpled clothes, standing in front of flashbulbs, cameras, and the collected eyes of a few hundred people and looking completely and pleasantly dumbfounded at the performance of his team. Carr earned great soul points for his genuine awe at Michigan's game and his player's maxing out their potential in the span of two quarters. It began at the half, when Carr seemed near speechless at his team's piston-blowing execution of the gameplan, and continued through post-game when Carr gave his players and coaches total credit for the masterpiece without a counterfeit sentiment for false note. Carr had the look of a man whose head had been down so long at the yoke he couldn't understand just what he'd plowed through to get there. To see that, a 62 year old stunned by the effort and commitment of a crew of 18-22 year olds on his behalf, had to warm even the most grizzled and Lloyd Carrish of hearts.
Smile, Lloyd.
I is for I-formation. Florida trotted out conventional formations, double TE sets, and even the maligned speed option play against Tennessee as the Florida gameplan confounded Tennessee's expectations in their victory over the Volunteers. Florida showed ballet moves in the first two games and showed up with track shoes on, running the ball 38 times to only 26 pass plays, a curveball given Florida's pass-happy attack in the first two games this season. The game-clinching play came not on a wacky five wide pass, but on a simple toss play on 3rd and 6 that Deshawn Wynn picked up by a hair.
J is for Jimbo Fisher, the LSU offensive coordinator who saw no reason to test Auburn's secondary deep despite having an ICBM-tossing quarterbeast under center, decent protection, and two dominating, thick armed receivers all-too-happy to bow up against a corner. Two things about Fisher mystify the observer:
1. His insistence on being called "Jimbo" as an adult, and...
2. His mercurial offense, which sometimes thrashes good opponents and sometimes turns to vapor in flurry of elaborate, unfulfilled scheming.
K is for Knowledgeable, which Gary Danielson Paul Maguire and Bob Griese personified on Saturday while broadcasting the Miami Louisville game. He was They were snatching stolen brainwaves from the Petrino brothers and elucidating their dismemberment plan for Miami with aplomb.
They actually were fantastic, even Paul Maguire, the current standard-bearer for "universally despised" among NFL viewers. Both announcers diagnosed very early on that Miami was in real trouble, long before the score caught up with what they were seeing.
L is for "lowly," which is what ESPN described Colorado as in a headline this week. L also stand for lowlife, loser, legendarily bad accountant, and lame, which may also describe Gary Barnett's sense of "vindication" at watching Colorado struggle. Classy, jackass.
M is for Manningham. 4 receptions, 137 yards receiving, 3 TDs. Also doled out hardest hit a Michigan player took all day when he decked a clarinet player in the stands. Perhaps Notre Dame should have noted the glowing white impact player circle beneath him--that always gives it away.
N is for Null, the set describing the number of points scored against UGA's defense this season. None.
O is for Obstruct, as in TCU's bonafide obstruction of the Texas Tech offense, holding them to three measly points. Gary Patterson now officially picks up the Meyer/Hawkins/Franchione BCS buster Hott Koach '06 beanie, which he will wear until poached by a larger program in the offseason.
Purple body paint. Comes right off with paint thinner. Unfortunately, so does your skin.
P is for Point Five seconds, roughly the slim interval of time in which a single, well composed defense falls to pieces against the run play of West Virginia. Herbstreit seemed to be jumping up and down in his chair when explaining the 'Eers glorified triple option to the viewers, and Maryland played willing cannon fodder for the experiment by leaning two steps to the right before Steve Slaton jetted left and through elegantly empty contours through the defense.
Q stands for Querulous, an apt word for Nebraska's second half gameplan against USC. Composure and commitment to the game plan is one thing, but the 'Huskers might blame faulty intelligence on this one, since they behaved as if they were squatting on a forty point lead at home instead of being down by largish numbers on the road. Bill Callahan might have just been finishing out the final phase of a fugue state under the pressure of an impending matchup with the Trojans: first he channels the genteel, poor-mouthing spirit of Tom Osborne in an interview with Rece Davis on Thursday night, then he apes the 2005 Gator two minute offense by dinking down the field and refusing to even try to play catchup with USC.
R stands for Robot. The robot is Troy Smith, whose blood has been replaced with antifreeze. Poise doesn't quite cover the aura that he's had early in the season. Someone pointed out that Smith hasn't even begun to run yet, which he will as soon as Tressel inputs the right code. Until then he'll continue to wreck defenses from the pocket at will. Too bad that Ted Ginn's borne out preseason predictions about being a total flop without Santonio Holmes....
S stands for Sandwich. Fulmer's always got the good stuff in the fridge.
21-20: a tasty sandwich indeed, Tony Joiner.
T stands for Tebow, the barrel-chested fullback masquerading as a quarterback who nailed down essential yardage for Florida on 4th and short in the Tennessee game. Eighteen? Appearing in your third game? Barely able to wash your own clothes and thumbing through your Intro to Geology textbook? Sounds ready to win a game to me. Meyer's confidence in his players--even the toddlers like Tebow and Harvin--astonishes. More astonishing still was Tennessee's reluctance to crowd the box when even Randy Sanders could have told you what was coming on thsoe short yardage plays: biscuit boy up the middle for a first down.
U stands for Urrutia, as in Mario. The wideout became the chief implement of torture for the Petrino brothers against Miami, catching precision posts on play-action and splitting the defense for critical yardage on Saturday. Proof that Bobby and Paul only own bean bag chairs to protect their enormous balls? Brohm goes out, backup Cantwell goes in, and the first play is a play-action strike right between Miami's safeties for a first down. Balls.
V stands for Victors, as in March of. Heard to the point of memorization on Saturday. The noise should, for Notre Dame fans, cause explosive and instantaneous vomiting this morning.
W is for WTF, as in Army almost beating Texas A&M. Franchione came within a failed fullback run of being employed by West Texas Trucking College. Army's tough--err, they are in the Army, after all--but the academy teams' recent run of stoutness against quality teams doesn't fully explain just how fragile this A&M team has become under Franchione.
X is for Xavier Lee, the new starter at qb for FSU. Bowden hinted at it after Drew Weatherford struggled to top a hundred yards against Clemson. Future scapegoats for vile Bowden nepotism to include Lee, offensive line coach, Jenn Sterger, the law firm of Holland and Knight, Gene Deckerhoff, and the entire city of Caracas, Venezuela, who've been doing absolutely nothing to ensure the continued success of FSU football.
Y is for Yay! The greatest day of college football we can remember, capped with Florida emerging as a cohesive, tough unit on the road. The rest after this is just gravy. But we'll take gallons of that, too, and so will our friend Coach Mangino, who no doubt needs it after losing to Toledo.
Z is for Zyzygy. The alignment of planets, as in:
--Florida State and Miami both tanking it while Florida wins.
--ESPN Gameday getting "their game of the week" delivered to them in a one-sided, poorly executed burrito of boring covered in somambulent salsa.
--Tommy Tuberville caught visibly sweating for the first time on camera in something like thre years.
--[NAME REDACTED] delivering an elbow to the chest of one of his players. (Please, we know this happened sometime in the second quarter of the game but can't get the footage. If you have it, send it to us and you'll have our eternal respect, which has no actual cash value.)
--Tennessee lost. To us. In Neyland.
--Tennessee lost. To us. In Neyland.
62 comments
|
0 recs |
Do you like this story?
Comments
Two things about Fisher mystify the observer:
1. His insistence on being called "Jimbo" as an adult, and…
2. His mercurial offense, which sometimes thrashes good opponents and sometimes turns to vapor in flurry of elaborate, unfulfilled scheming.
Allow me to unravel the mystery: Jimbo was coached and trained by Terry Bowden. Take out Jimbo’s name in the above musings and insert Terry’s (or Tommy’s), and you don’t have to change another word to still be completely accurate.
by Will Collier on Sep 18, 2006 12:20 PM EDT reply actions
You get an F for Faaaaaaaantastic; but didn’t Gary Danielson do the UF-UT game with Verne?
by AUAlum on Sep 18, 2006 12:22 PM EDT reply actions
Hate to be picky about the typically awesome post, but…
It’s actually ‘Hail to the Victors’ and ‘syzygy’. Hilarious work, as always…
by Jackwraith on Sep 18, 2006 12:25 PM EDT reply actions
Editing to come…you’re right. It wasn’t Danielson, but Paul Macguire and company.
by Orson Swindle on Sep 18, 2006 12:26 PM EDT reply actions
If the Chuck Amato reading last week equalled “Screech,” I can only assume that this week Sally Struthers will be imploring us to keep him from wasting away to nothing.
by DevilGrad on Sep 18, 2006 12:27 PM EDT reply actions
Verne and Gary were dropping knowledge as well during the Battle of Neyland; I dare say they may turn into the best announcing team on the planet.
by AUAlum on Sep 18, 2006 12:31 PM EDT reply actions
Actually, UGA’s D has given up 10 points this year. After watching all the games this year at UGA, though, I have to say that the WKU QB is probably the best UGA has seen so far.
by Meg on Sep 18, 2006 12:32 PM EDT reply actions
What does it say when UGA completely dominates UAB and Oklahoma needs a Watson Brown brainfart and fourth quarter heroics to beat the Blazers?
by AUAlum on Sep 18, 2006 12:36 PM EDT reply actions
D could also be for Dallas Baker the touchdown maker. Even the CBS guys were calling him this.
by Mike on Sep 18, 2006 12:50 PM EDT reply actions
Well, seven of those points did come against our second-string secondary, so I think “0 = the number of touchdowns allowed by Georgia’s starting D in three games” would technically be accurate.
After reading that Gary Barnett comment, though, I’m almost thinking I’d like to gently disinvite the actual Colorado team from our schedule this weekend and instead pit the entire team against Barnett all by his lonesome, just so that he can get the unholy ass-whipping he deserves. Good Lord, what a cocksucker.
by Doug on Sep 18, 2006 1:05 PM EDT reply actions
Is that what that white circle under Manningham was? I was just amazed that Quinn, Samardjizkaavarga, and Walker each had a white circle with a skull and crossbones in the middle.
by Rome on Sep 18, 2006 1:12 PM EDT reply actions
The DC Trojanettes’ west-coast based, Scottish granny was in town this weekend for a visit; she’s not known for watching anything other than USC and Oregon football and was baffled when I turned on the Toledo – Kansas game.
When Mangino filled the screen there was a brief silence followed by a horrified Scottish voice saying “Jesus Christ almighty, what’s that?”
by DC Trojan on Sep 18, 2006 1:16 PM EDT reply actions
Cue instant karma for Oregon, who will have something equally grievous befall them somewhere down the line
I didn’t have sound for the Oklahoma-UAB game (and wasn’t really watching that closely), but the officiating disaster at Oregon could be nothing more than payback for their good fortune against UAB.
Wasn’t a UAB fumble recovery and return nullified by a dubious officials’ decision late in the 4th?
by Chg on Sep 18, 2006 1:17 PM EDT reply actions
DC Trojan, we’d pay a hundred dollars for audio of that.
by Orson Swindle on Sep 18, 2006 1:19 PM EDT reply actions
Chg: Yes. Oklahoma fumbled a UAB punt inside their own 20 late in the game, and UAB picked it up, but the refs said the punt returner was down (he wasn’t) and blew the whistle, so the play wasn’t even reviewable, if I remember correctly.
So yeah, I guess karma worked out in this case.
by Doug on Sep 18, 2006 1:24 PM EDT reply actions
In the article Barnett said he might follow Fisher DeBerry at Air Force. Watch out gays, Jews, hispanics, or any other minority the DeBerry/Barnett hit squad hasn’t blasted yet. DeBerry took care of the “Afro-Americans” and Barnett knocked out “horrible girls” while borderline defending their rape.
If they hire Barnett, Air Force may finally put Hitler’s idea of the supremacy of the Aryan race to the test; a bunch of blonde-haired, blue-eyed chosen ones running the spread formation against BYU would bring a tear to Pat Buchanan’s eye.
by AUAlum on Sep 18, 2006 1:26 PM EDT reply actions
DC Trojan, we’d pay a hundred dollars for audio of that.
Unfortunately it’s lost to history… the missus and I were too busy laughing anyway.
by DC Trojan on Sep 18, 2006 1:28 PM EDT reply actions
Why was the Zooker’s name used. I thought you were still doing the honorable thing of removing its name.
by TideInTx on Sep 18, 2006 1:29 PM EDT reply actions
Chg, I’m not sure about the UAB game, but there’s getting whacked by karma and then there’s what happened to Oklahoma at the end of the Oregon game. Hell, even the sunday sports shows up here in Portland were pointing out how ridiculously bad the officiating was on the onside kick. If you watch the replay, it’s not just obvious that Oregon touched the ball before 10 yards, but that they DIDN’T EVEN RECOVER THE DAMN THING!
That’s actually the last memory I have of college football on Saturday. Between having to watch Phil Knight buy a win and the utter destruction of ND by Michigan, I didn’t even have the heart to watch the Tenn/Fla matchup.
by JohnWA on Sep 18, 2006 1:31 PM EDT reply actions
I agree with the WTF moment of the weekend. I watched the end of that game and the real WTF moment came when the Aggies celebrated like they just won the National Championship and Man Tits on the A&M sideline smiled, hugged, and may even have jumped.
Great post.
by Ritty on Sep 18, 2006 1:41 PM EDT reply actions
I was way too distracted by Mangino’s disproportionately undersized arms to focus on the game.
No way this dude can write his name in the snow.
=http://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j266/jaybuzzz/mangino.jpg][IMG]http://i82.photobucket.com/albums/j266/jaybuzzz/th_mangino.jpg[/IMG][/URL]
by jaybuzz on Sep 18, 2006 1:45 PM EDT reply actions
Jaybuzz,
T-Rex had undersized arms, but that made it no less an unmerciful eating machine.
That’s the nickname the ladies call me, by the way.
by Orangeblood on Sep 18, 2006 2:01 PM EDT reply actions
The ladies call you “unmerciful eating machine”? Not sure whether to be scared or impressed.
by AllWhoYonder on Sep 18, 2006 2:02 PM EDT reply actions
Florida State losing the Bowden Bowl…Zero Dollars
Louisville 31, Miami 7…Zero Dollars
Notre Dame getting WTFBBQOWNED by Michigan…Zero Dollars
Gators beating Fat Phil and the Vols in Neyland…PRICELESS.
by stockman on Sep 18, 2006 2:05 PM EDT reply actions
That brings us back to “F is for Flan,” an admirable sentiment with which I am sure Mark Mangino agrees.
by DevilGrad on Sep 18, 2006 2:05 PM EDT reply actions
You should hear the constant bitching of Sooner Fan. It’s especially ironic considering their nickname (and therefore the entire athletic department) is based on blatant cheating.
Maybe they’ll quit whining about Taurean Henderson’s TD…then again, maybe not.
by Raider Red on Sep 18, 2006 2:07 PM EDT reply actions
Leave to Urban Meyer to stun us with a conventional formation that’s only been around for 50 years, if not longer.
Sneaky bastard!
by Cool Hand Mike on Sep 18, 2006 2:17 PM EDT reply actions
Enjoy the top of the SEC East for now, Gators.
That Bama/LSU/Auburn run is going to have you curled in a fetal position in the corner of an unwashed rest-area bathroom sucking your thumb, sweating profusely, and screaming “I want my mommy and a real offensive system”.
The good news – it’ll only last 6 days until the “Worlds Largest Muttwhuppin Party” begins.
by NewAZTiger on Sep 18, 2006 2:39 PM EDT reply actions
Oh, and who is the genius down at UF that made the LSU game Homecoming?
Seriously.
LSU.
Homecoming.
First Crocgate, then Roman-Numeral Gate, and now LSU-for-Homecoming Gate.
by NewAZTiger on Sep 18, 2006 2:40 PM EDT reply actions
Lloyd Carr had sex with his wife for the first time in at least 3 years after saturday’s game. Then he made her make him a sandwich.
by woody on Sep 18, 2006 2:41 PM EDT reply actions
Husker fans,
You will rue the day you hired Callahack. Although a fool, at least Andre Jones believed his team could win and at least he played to win, unlike his coach.
Congratulations on the fake punt.
by SeaTrojan on Sep 18, 2006 2:57 PM EDT reply actions
I agree about Callahan; I thought he was going to get a Gatorade shower for covering +19.
Dwayne Jarrett and the defense looked good, but Booty and the running game need to step up if the Trojans are going to run the table.
by AUAlum on Sep 18, 2006 3:15 PM EDT reply actions
AUAlum,
As much as I like them, I doubt USC will run the table. They’ll be a nasty 10-2 or 11-1 team like Palmer’s senior year, or Leinart’s first, heading into a BCS bowl.
by SeaTrojan on Sep 18, 2006 3:30 PM EDT reply actions
Who can beat USC? Oregon, ASU, UCLA, and ND are the only three teams that have any chance whatsoever but I don’t see any of them winning unless Oregon or ND pull a big upset out in the Coliseum.
Oregon rolled up 500 yards against Oklahoma and ND rolled over Penn State but both of those defenses may be overrated.
by AUAlum on Sep 18, 2006 3:40 PM EDT reply actions
Gators and Tigers and Cardinals and Wolverines, Oh My!
We ain’t in Kansas anymore, Toto! We’re in Paradise, almost.
Gators/Vols: 21-20
Clemson/Noles: 27-20
Cardinals/Canes 31-7
Meechigan/Domers 47-21
Could it get any better? Well, yeah. It would have been nice if the Huskers had beaten the LA-LAs, but hey, I’m still a happy Gator.
Yes, Orson. The planets are aligned, and this is the Dawning of the Age of Saurianae.
by darthgatorone on Sep 18, 2006 3:49 PM EDT reply actions
Not to sound like an uptight or obnoxious SEC fan, but UGA gave up twelve to W. Kentucky. Safety, touchdown and FG. It was against, 2nd team defense. Probably not against 2nd team offense though, seeing as the O-Line was very thin at that point and doesn’t have much depth to begin with. Back to back shutouts (1st time since 1980, no one get excited yet) are just fine though, thank you. Best SEC defense, or best performance on defense so far for an SEC team?
by Jon on Sep 18, 2006 4:02 PM EDT reply actions
Neither Jon; when UGA holds Auburn to under 200 yards then you can join the conversation.
by AUAlum on Sep 18, 2006 4:05 PM EDT reply actions
UGA has won their games, played good D, but has played some teams whose offense is so bad they have a hard time marching off the bus, nevermind down the field.
Although, in UGA’s defense, they have been pretty good on D as of late, so it could be a trend, but it also could be a fluke.
by NewAZTiger on Sep 18, 2006 4:09 PM EDT reply actions
I still maintain that M should be for Mustain.
3 TDs, 200+ Yards in his first SEC game.
by HogInDublin on Sep 18, 2006 4:09 PM EDT reply actions
Does anyone else love it when Meyer breaks out the Maryland I ? It just screams “Here the fuck we come. Good luck.”
Also, the Paul Martinez under “D for Doink” plays for Oregon, right? I thought they pulled out a W, even if the zebras deserve much of the credit.
Anyway, fantastic post as usual.
by Verdigo on Sep 18, 2006 4:24 PM EDT reply actions
how close was that furman game! i was hoping for a repeat. they beat UNC 21-3 last time they played.
by adam on Sep 18, 2006 4:48 PM EDT reply actions
AUAlum,
SC is young and they still have a bullseye on their chests. I just think it’s likely that they’ll have one or two “off” games where the other team plays out of their minds.
But, as long as their wide receivers get subsidized rent and their top rb’s get 100k stipends, anything’s possible.
by SeaTrojan on Sep 18, 2006 5:09 PM EDT reply actions
was funny watching texas A&M vs army. one side of the alamodome was full of real cadets. the other side was full of crew-cutted posers. whoop?
by S on Sep 18, 2006 5:43 PM EDT reply actions
Fantastic wrapup for a rather satisfying Saturday.
Did anyone else catch Lee Corso’s tremendously awkward moment before the USC game? He was on the field where the team was about to come out of the tunnel and was babbling about how he was going to interview Traveler (yes, the horse) about the game. And Tommy Trojan, too – because, we all really wanted to hear his thoughts on the game. Fortunately for everyone involved, they left Corso and his baby arm hanging – they wandered off somewhere else. So, he proceeded to enact an “interview” with the horse on his own. Then they went back up to the booth any everyone pretended that that didn’t just happen.
Naturally, I flipped back over to CBS.
by RodBeck on Sep 18, 2006 5:51 PM EDT reply actions
Despite the lack of Rutgers Mention (3-0 For the first time in 25 years…over the college football powerhouse of Ohio State ) This was an absolutely phenomenal post. Word.
by KevinFromNB on Sep 18, 2006 5:58 PM EDT reply actions
That was meant to be Strikeout State EndStrikeout…humor suffers when you’re bad at HTML
by KevinFromNB on Sep 18, 2006 5:59 PM EDT reply actions
My sympathies to the Oklahoma fans. Pac 10 officials have been “Sun Beltesque” for a long time. Their ability to ruin games with non-calls, bad calls and missed replay calls is mind boggling, yet par for the course.
What did Bob Stoops ever do to deserve having one game a year taken away from him?
by SeaTrojan on Sep 18, 2006 6:05 PM EDT reply actions
re: K is for Knowledgeable …
As all other fans did, I HATED Maguire and Theeeesman. It is now clear that Theeeesman was the entire problem.
by Barefeetbob on Sep 18, 2006 6:40 PM EDT reply actions
Did they make Colorado vacate their 5th-down game? Hell, did Vandy get an apology for that incident down in Gatorland last year?
Pac-10 officials are undoubtedly the worst in college football, but Oklahoma needs to put their big girl panties on and deal. Live by the shaky call, die by the shaky call (see UAB).
by VandyJ on Sep 18, 2006 8:08 PM EDT reply actions
Congratulations on regaining your faculties enough to compose such a truly excellent post. I’m still struggling to complete sentences without devolving into gleeful babbling about the win over Notre Dame.
by Flop on Sep 18, 2006 8:43 PM EDT reply actions
I only caught the final moments of the Vandy-Arkansas game, but I heard that Vandy got seriously jobbed on a call that may have been among the worst of the weekend.
I didn’t see the play in question as I was “tailgating”
(read: passed out in a pool of urine and tainted potato salad under a portable camping table)
by jaybuzz on Sep 18, 2006 10:07 PM EDT reply actions
So it was the refs in Eugene who could not score from 2 yards out? Was it the refs who gave up more than 500 yards in total offense to the Ducks? Um. No. No.
Shut your pie holes, Sooner Nation. You want a screw job, visit the Colorado-Mizzou game. That was a bend and submit job by the refs.
#44: Arkansas shut out Utah STATE and scraped by Vandy. VANDY?!. And you are crowing about a freshman quarterback running a high school offense? Wow! The mighty have fallen.
by milevin on Sep 18, 2006 10:51 PM EDT reply actions
That sound you heard around 8:15 on Friday night was millions of widescreen TV owners flipping through their owners’ manuals for the aspect ratio setting upon seeing Amstutz and Mangino on their screen simultaneously.
by tim in tampa on Sep 18, 2006 11:25 PM EDT reply actions
It’s nice that Carr was gracious after the ND game. But it’s pretty fucking easy to be gracious when you’ve trounced your opponent. Let’s review his sportsmanship when he loses… oh yeah… he has none.
by crazy tom on Sep 18, 2006 11:40 PM EDT reply actions
Lloyd Carr had sex with his wife for the first time in at least 3 years after saturday’s game. Then he made her make him a sandwich.
Did she use the South Bend cheese? They took so much cheese, I’m sure there was some left over.
Re #56, Arkansas called a screen to McFadden, which he dropped. In real time, it appeared to be backwards. McFadden did not pursue the ball. Two Vanderbilt players did, and one was running towards teh endzone with a blocker escort when the refs called them back.
They blew the play dead. Replays showed the pass was clearly backwards. Arkansas got a big play on the next snap to go up 21-13 in a game they won 21-19.
Blowing a play dead (like the UAB explanation above) is indefensibly stupid. If they let it play out, they can review the play and get it right*, but you can’t review after a play’s been whistled dead. Haven’t these officials watched a single NFL game in the last decade?
- Does not apply to games played at Autzen Stadium.
by Chg on Sep 18, 2006 11:42 PM EDT reply actions
re: #57 milevin,
texas won a national title last year running the Dart series, the heart of that “high school offense” Arkansas is running.
re: the weekend
Notre Dame losing is nice and satisfying. No more knob-slobbing by ESPN. No more ridiculous hype about how their defense has ‘improved’ – they haven’t. No more undeserved love for the Golden Domers. Only shame. Lots and lots of shame. And tears. Lots of tears.
Every fan of any school not named Notre Dame should relish it.
As for A&M – Army, Fran is Fruadtastic. Eventually, the administration in College Station will figure it out.
Their defense and special teams (their weaknesses in 2005) were again their weakness on Saturday. What did you expect when you replace Carl Torbush with Gary Darnell, and keep the same special teams coach?
by Beergut on Sep 19, 2006 2:04 AM EDT reply actions
My take on the Oregon/Sooner controversy:
The President of Oklahoma’s letter to the Big Twelve Commissioner suggested that the result of the game should be disregarded, but the Commish said that it wasn’t going to happen, nor should the result of the game be changed because of officiating errors.
This reminds me of the “Fifth Down” controversy that happened back in ’90 in the Colorado/Missouri game. In that game, the Buffs had a first an goal in the waning moments of the game. On fourth and goal, the Colorado qb spiked the ball;however, the officials blew it, and the sticks remained at fourth down. On the “Fifth Down”, Colorado scored to win the game.
Afterward, it was suggested that Colorado should forfeit the game. The Colorado coach, Bill McCartney rejected that suggestion, claiming that he had considered it but decided against it because “the field was lousy.” He complained about the unusually slick Omniturf artificial surface, which he said had caused repeated slips and falls during the game.
Moreover, the rules of the NCAA might prohibit the recognition of such a forfeiture anyway. A decision made by the officials during the course of play cannot be reversed after the game ends. If the “fifth down” play had occurred earlier, so that time remained on the clock when the play ended, the play could have been nullified.
However, in 1940, a similar situation occurred in the game between Dartmouth and Cornell with different action by the “winning” school. Cornell had won 18 straight games when they completed the game-winning touchdown pass on fifth down. After officials reviewed game film, they discovered their error. By agreement of the Cornell players, coach, and athletic director, Cornell forfeited the game to Dartmouth by telegram. This game is therefore regarded as a 3-0 Dartmouth victory, instead of a 7-3 triumph by Cornell.
Again, because of NCAA rules, there’s doubt as to whether the Cornell forfeit was “official”. However, the general public recognizes the Cornell telegram of forfeit, so NCAA recognition of it has been moot.
In this case, where the errors were so egregious and directly changed the result of the game, the honorable thing for Oregon to do would be to forfeit the game. Of course, that won’t happen. Let’s see: Cornell-honorable, Colorado and Oregon-not so much.
Since that is the case, I would suggest several things should happen:
1. Unless Oregon forfeits the game, the Big Twelve member schools should cancel all future games with the PAC 10 unless they agree to the Oklahoma President’s demand for changing the PAC 10 rule that only PAC 10 officiating crews referee games with non-conference foes in home games.
2.The Oklahoma President should write another letter to the voters in the polls utilized by the BCS requesting that all voters treat the game as an Oklahoma victory and an Oregon loss. I know that if I were a voter, that’s what I would do.
3. Oregon should be censured for those butt-ugly uniforms.
In short, this is an egregious situation that shouldn’t be allowed to stand unchallenged. Keep on raising Hell, Sooners.
by darthgatorone on Sep 19, 2006 1:10 PM EDT reply actions
Comments For This Post Are Closed
Secondary Sidebar
User Tools
FanPosts
Community blog posts and discussion.
Certain photos copyright © 2012 by Associated Press or Getty Images. Any commercial use or distribution without the express written consent of Associated Press and Getty Images is strictly prohibited.
