TENNESSEE HATE WEEK COMMENCES: SANDWICHES, BITCHES.
Oh, you want trash talk Tennessee? SERIOUS FUCKING TRASH TALK? You’re not ready. Don’t even act like you’re ready for this. Okay, we told you, but you’re just gonna find out for you own pitiful self. Yeah, go ahead. We dare you to look at this quote from Tony Joiner:
“We really want to get into somebody else and take their cheese. Make a sandwich in the kitchen. Ham and cheese with a little turkey, mustard and mayonnaise.”
Ohhhhhh SNAP! We got sandwiches, bitches. You just died a little, didn’t you?
Sandwiches.
(Serious hat tip: WATB.)
We’re coming to make a Reuben, baby. REUBENS!
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51
Run Up The Score says:
Open faced sandwich! Closed mouth Sterger! Easily. As I quoted at RUTS, “no matter how hot she is, someone’s sick of her you-know-what.”
September 12th, 2006 at 6:05 pm
52
Artist Formerly known As Prince says:
I watched that video of Jenn Stenger…..she’s a whiney ass little bitch.
She might be hot but damn hot only goes so far. I’m telling you Jenn Stenger loves Jenn Stenger. Ive seen hotter anyway.
I bet her pussy smells any way. I mean I should know I’m the AFKAP, i’ve had much pussy in my day.
September 12th, 2006 at 6:15 pm
53
The Conscience of a Nation says:
I think the lady doth protest too much. About everything.
Poor kid.
September 12th, 2006 at 6:23 pm
54
Phil K. says:
Good call, jaybuzz. “How was I to know she was with the Russians, too?”
I must have listened to that song a thousand times before I realized it was about JFK.
September 12th, 2006 at 6:37 pm
55
peachy says:
Well, Southern Miss and UCF having lousy offenses statistically might have something to do with playing UF already, ya know? (Getting shutout doesn’t do wonders for your PPG average, after all.) And while neither is a power, they were both bowl teams last year, and UCF at least has a decent shot at winning C-USA (which can’t be that much worse than some of the big conferences this year – ahem, ACC), besides returning a senior quarterback, their entire offensive line, and the C-USA Freshman of the Year at running back. Hell, I’d probably back ‘em against Cal, at least if they played in Orlando.
September 12th, 2006 at 6:39 pm
56
GoneGator says:
If Florida wins, I fully expect to see any remaining sandwich shop on University Ave. in Gainesville featuring the “Tony Joiner Volunteer” sandwich. Doesn’t cost anything, but you have to make it yourself, preferably after hours.
With UF players speak in metaphors, FSU’s actually do the B&E to grab a bite to eat. See former QB Jared Jones and his hungary burgalry. http://www.longislandpress.com/index.php?show=article&cp=179&a_id=4469
This is the best development in this series since the Zooker stopped getting disgruntled coaches’ faxes from Knoxville Kinko’s. Couldn’t be more excited to have a ham, cheese and turkey sandwich for dinner Saturday night.
September 12th, 2006 at 6:48 pm
57
italiangator says:
Orson, I don’t want it to get lost in the comments, b/c as someone said this quote is begging for a shirt to be made about it, I don’t even care if we lose. It’s trash talk freakin’ gold.
September 12th, 2006 at 7:12 pm
58
Stacy Keibler Loves Me says:
TCOAN: Some of these cuties are super high maintenance!
September 12th, 2006 at 7:17 pm
59
Gatorpilot says:
Doesn’t anyone notice Joiner is not predicting to make sandwiches, but “We really want to”, meaning he hopes to, not saying they will. That does not constitute trash talking. Maybe if you would have gotten a UF education, you would see that.
I’m off to find some Boar’s Head!
September 12th, 2006 at 7:18 pm
60
italiangator says:
Oh, and the Sterger vid- best part about it is that she’s making that video in a campus classroom, likely with a university camera- I’d know those lightswitches anywhere. So, yeah, good use of resources there. Good luck with that med school, FSU.
September 12th, 2006 at 7:19 pm
61
socalirish says:
Nice Hamlet paraphrase, COAN. Sandwiches, Shakespeare references and catcher’s mitts. Where else can you get all that in one place!
September 12th, 2006 at 7:23 pm
62
The Spirit of Heisman Pundit says:
Ok, I don’t think anyone would honestly turn her down. If you would I would like to hear the reasoning.
September 12th, 2006 at 7:33 pm
63
Phil K. says:
Aesthetic considerations aside, here are some reasons:
1. You’d have to listen to her.
2. A complete lack of self-awareness is generally not an attractive trait.
3. Lumberg fucked her.
September 12th, 2006 at 7:47 pm
64
The Spirit of Heisman Pundit says:
The Lumberg fucked her line is the only one that made sense. I laughed out loud and my boss wants to know why.
September 12th, 2006 at 7:51 pm
65
LWS says:
It is Florida Hate Week at our site. Come see us
September 12th, 2006 at 7:53 pm
66
SeaTrojan says:
She’s a 7.5, not a ten, without any hint of sensuality but an astonishing amount of anger for a young woman.
September 12th, 2006 at 7:55 pm
67
J.J. says:
SoHP, I can’t honestly say I’d turn her down, but there’s no way I’d ever hit on a girl who looks and talks like that. Guys who do that deserve whatever they get from her.
“I don’t think it makes me shallow.” Yeah, it does.
Wait, maybe it’s not a load of complete bullshit. I don’t know what I was thinking. Her sluttiness is a form of ‘empowerment’ and a show of her ’self-confidence’.
September 12th, 2006 at 8:15 pm
68
kleph says:
like a good friend of mine once said, they all look the same when you take their pants off. now consider that as you put that vid on repeat and play it for two solid hours.
sandwich, please!
September 12th, 2006 at 8:20 pm
69
italiangator says:
kleph, there are alot better videos than that to watch online these days- let’s face it, Bankie Edwards wasn’t all wrong about the Internet. In fact, he wasn’t wrong at all.
September 12th, 2006 at 8:24 pm
70
The Spirit of Heisman Pundit says:
“they all look the same when you take their pants off”
You are insane. People who say that and “when the lights are off” are also insane. It definitely isn’t the same, that’s for sure.
September 12th, 2006 at 8:30 pm
71
Nate says:
My grandparents sent me a write-up of our family history–my great^6 grandfather married a Sarah Louise Fulmer….a shiver ran down my spine, thinking I might be related to Phil, however distant. Ugh.
September 12th, 2006 at 8:56 pm
72
Crabapple Buck says:
Jenn Sterger is HIGH MAINTENANCE. Remember, no matter how good looking they are, someone is tired of fucking ‘em.
BTW sandwiches are preferred over girls like her.
September 12th, 2006 at 9:39 pm
73
minus the sun-dried tomatoes says:
I’m still waiting for my Orgeron Broodwich.
September 12th, 2006 at 10:48 pm
74
damgator says:
After the initial “huh?” I am so ready for breaking-and-entering sammiches at the Vols’ house. yeah, and cheese, too. and little vienna suasages, and oreos, and planter’s peanuts, chocolate syrup, and cheetos, and pickles, and Jenn Sterger….
September 12th, 2006 at 11:12 pm
75
Sam says:
Is that Mountain Dew being served with that Reuben, or simply the worlds weakest beer.
Either way, it is offending my sensibilities. Reminds me of a comment somebody made at a tailgate last year regarding Miller High Life and Korbel…
“In the red cooler, we have the champagne of beers. And in the black cooler, we have the beer of champagnes.”
September 12th, 2006 at 11:37 pm
76
DC Trojan says:
Re: people saying that they are going to get a sandwich, apparently Ms Sterger thinks that buying food for deadbeats is being a good girlfriend, so perhaps if you go slack-jawed and put a cap on at a jaunty angle, you could get your reuben paid for…
I have two little girls and seeing a young woman so plainly lost in life makes me sad. Did no-one ever show her what it means to have some actual self-worth instead blathering on about empowerment through plastic surgery?
Having written that I can guarantee that 1) I will be mocked mercilessly, and rightly so; and 2) my little horrors will be wearing bikinis over Wilson’s “buy one get one free” faux funbags at the Rose Bowl… supporting UCLA. Or dancing at a Notre Dame MBA tailgate, or something else that would result in my wandering the realm with my eyes poked out.
September 13th, 2006 at 12:00 am
77
Artist Formerly known As Prince says:
after thinking about it she’s most likely one of them high class females that refuse to give head cause it’s “”"nasty”"”, she couldn’t handle the AFKA Prince anyway. I’m sexual chock-O- Lot……..of juice in your face that is Jenn Strenger…….but then again part of me wants to think shes an angry screw, wild monkey sex. but i digress…………….want pancakes?
September 13th, 2006 at 2:46 am
78
Wees says:
I was waiting for Jenn to show her boobs at the end – what a bummer!
September 13th, 2006 at 8:24 am
79
OLB says:
Well, I went home with the waitress
The way I always do
How was I to know
She was with the Russians, too
I was gambling in Havana
I took a little risk
Send lawyers, guns and money
Dad, get me out of this
I’m the innocent bystander
Somehow I got stuck
Between the rock and the hard place
And I’m down on my luck
And I’m down on my luck
And I’m down on my luck
Now I’m hiding in Honduras
I’m a desperate man
Send lawyers, guns and money
The shit has hit the fan
Send lawyers, guns and money…
What a great song.
Go Gators . . . and make a sandwich!
September 13th, 2006 at 10:19 am
80
VolBrian says:
Florida is fucked.
Nobody messes with Fulmer’s cheese!!
September 13th, 2006 at 12:30 pm
81
RedTide says:
SoHP, I don’t think it’s so much that if she was naked and next to us we’d all say no, but if we’re talking about women who are unattainable anyway, we’d rather think we’d say yes to someone hotter and sweeter… or, alternatively, to a very attainable sandwhich… I’m thinking a little Shane’s pulled pork on Texas Toast sounds good right about now…
September 13th, 2006 at 3:52 pm
82
Mark says:
This is the dumbest fucking website I have ever seen. Laugh when Ainge, Meachem, and co. put 42 points on your ass.
September 13th, 2006 at 4:22 pm
83
Chris says:
I’d put something in Sterger’s mouth to shut her up, but the bitter bitch would probably bite it off.
September 13th, 2006 at 5:06 pm
84
The Spirit of Heisman Pundit says:
Bitter is beauty. Mark doesn’t understand the Vols actually suck and the first game was an aberration.
September 13th, 2006 at 5:33 pm
85
Boclive says:
I cannot believe the scores the boys on this board are giving the girl in the video. 10? 7.5? 6?
That is one plank faced skank ready to spread misery whenever SHE is not actively climaxing. Run the fuck away.
This game is the absolute key to the Gators season. Not the key to the Vols season. The only win that matters in Knoxville is Alabama, cause that’s the only game that matters to the Phat Rat and his future.
Gators move up a little or down a lot after UT. Make that sandwich with two slices of bread, two slices of ham, two slices of turkey, two slices of salami, two slices of tomato, three slices of pepperjack cheese, lettuce, mayo, mustard, and cut it PRECISELY in half.
Do not fart around with trimming the crust off the bread.
GET IT DONE.
September 13th, 2006 at 8:03 pm
86
LWS says:
Urban prefers hellmans
September 13th, 2006 at 10:08 pm
87
bamacpa says:
Gators win as Ainge reverts to throwing passes bass ackwards from his end zone.
September 13th, 2006 at 10:19 pm
88
DickStuckInMayoJar says:
…C’mon in Tony, with all your cheese… …Your mouth-fulls comin up!..
September 14th, 2006 at 2:49 pm
89
Your Weekend Primer… « The Itch - Dry, Flaky Sports Commentary says:
[...] Alabama @ (5)Florida – Mortals! Ready your inadequate souls (and livers) for a thunderous onslaught jort-clad Urban Apostles and the man pictured to the right, who is calling his mom, wondering how to get a nacho cheese stain out of his 1996 National Champions t-shirt. Yes, the Revenge Day cometh for the Gators, and Hell and wishes of ill health cometh with it. EDSBS has been posting odes to the Great State of Alabama all week, which are not to be missed, and no doubt The Swamp will be a’rockin come kickoff. You’ll learn a QB with 3 names is no match for Brandon Siler and the Gator front 7, and that sandwiches will again be eaten. [...]
September 29th, 2006 at 10:06 am
90
Before there was a CFJ … « Curveballs for Jesus says:
[...] I am a dreamer GO CATS!!!!! And Big Shot Bob [UF fan], bring your ass over here. I will make you a cheese sandwich then I will throw it at [...]
August 8th, 2008 at 3:09 pm
91
Mr. Pelican Pants says:
OMG, Holly, I would set u up on a blind date with this Karoake singer who got booted out of a VFW whose singing was “screwed and chopped”:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=79kRf_HqU4Y
September 19th, 2008 at 12:55 pm