THE BIG FOOTBAW GAME: OSU/TEXAS
by Orson on Sep 11, 2006 7:45 AM EDT
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PrintSomeone told us Bob Davie, despite using the word "footbaw" and other folksy bits of language, actually hails from Pennsylvania. We bet he wears cowboy boots when it's inappropriate, too--someone send us five dollars if true. We also bet that the person who told us this carries a ragged Davie voodoo doll loaded with pins, and roots now for a coach whose belt should get a Heisman vote this year just for the effort it put in every Saturday night.
Footbaw footbaw footbaw. Footbaw. Footbaw footbaw.
Davie covered the OSU/Texas game Saturday night, along with Brent Musberger. They did not make Musberger wear his unfavorite gameday outfit, but he was in fine form for the game, bellowing and hollering over even the smallest action. For all his bluster, no one manages to say the name of a player with more bombast and relevance. The way he says Ted Ginn--"TEHHD GINNNNNNNNN!!!"--somehow contains the gist of exactly what just happened in the pronunciation. It's as if on hearing it you could, without ever seeing Ted Ginn before, understand that "the unreal speed of this player has resulted in yet another score on a go route in single coverage."
This brings us to the actual game, where we officially got tired of hearing Bob Davie say the word "footbaw," a word in Bahasa Indonesian meaning "horrifically sunburned announcer." Rankings couldn't tell this, but we guessed with unlikely accuracy that Ohio State would win because their quarterback was older. Ultimately this was the difference: looking at the gameplan, it appears Texas did everything correctly in the effort to accomodate their freshman qb, Colt McCoy, whose name is completely made up and cannot possibly be real. They went short and screeny; they split option read and speed option plays up between two of their three fearsome backs, though we didn't see Gargantua once in this game, a shame since he's a blast to watch just lumbering onto the field. (That's Henry Melton, the Longhorn back who's at least 270 pounds of rubbery fury.)
They even let McCoy throw every now and then, and not just tosses of the easy flanker screen and five yard curl variety. For the most part he seemed past competent, especially for a guy volunteering for blunt-trauma medical experimentation by the Ohio State defense in his second collegiate start ever. He didn't get two things, though. First, he didn't catch a break: Billy Pittman's fumble at the goal line in a scoreless game took a methodical scoring drive and set fire to it in seconds. Texas went from scoring first at home to sitting on a flipped field wondering where all the good karma went to in about five seconds.
Second, McCoy did exactly what he was supposed to: check down, check down, and check down some more. Granny Mack--the incarnation of Mack Brown who doesn't rock out to his IPod before games, let his qbs wreak havoc on opposing defenses with improv, and in general plays loose prior to key matchups--made a furious comeback in this game. Brown and OC Greg Davis didn't trust McCoy, and who can blame them? He's a freshman going up against OSU, and even with the relatively generous approach to McCoy he still threw a pick and at times looked youthfully indecisive under fire. (Peter, btw, thinks Davis put the reins on McCoy completely and totally.) Texas probably thought they might win this game 13-10.
Jim Tressel had no such intentions. The Buckeyes played the Texas defense brilliantly, though not by outfoxing them with a slew of strategems or fakeries. The Texas defense keyed on Ginn, so the Buckeyes went binary and just threw to the other guy, Anthony Gonzales. He led the team in receptions because Ohio State still managed to run the ball more than they passed, enabling play-fakes and bootlegs, and also because the Texas D also had to worry about Troy Smith's running ability. They had little to actually sweat, since Smith seemed all too happy to camp in the pocket and play paper-rock-scissors with the Longhorns. And when the Longhorns finally left Ginn in single coverage, the Buckeyes went straight for him for the TD that really sounded situation critical for Texas. A rock to their paper, and Ginn glided into the endzone to Musburger's thunderous appreciation.
You lose.
You can't fault Texas for losing the game, though. Though Notre Dame's reality check to Penn State comes close, this week's collective Tip of the Hat has to go to Ohio State, who's clearly swelling into optimal form early this season. To lose nine starters on defense and roll in without a hiccup and shut down Texas--even a Texas with a slightly handcuffed quarterback--represents an impressive achievement. They didn't go blitz-wacky, but instead just played their base defense and allowed newbies like Andy James Laurinaitis to play rugby with the Texas backs while clogging McCoy's vision with Buckeye jerseys. They did blitz consistently, but never threw six or seven at a freshman qb because they didn't have to in order to fluster McCoy. Well played, Sir Sweatervest.
The temptation here is to go shitty and call Ohio State's strategies, gameplay, and overall way of doing things "old-school," or even "delightfully simple." But that's condescension cloaked as a compliment. The ten-dollar word for what Ohio State does on the football field is "baroque," simple oscillations between a few options that pile into complexity through skilled variation. They have a good, sturdy running back? He gets the ball up the middle. They have a lightning fast wideout? He goes on glorious fly patterns and dares defenders to catch him. Is he covered? Then throw to the other wideout, who's likely open and waiting for a pass underneath. They work their talent the same way on defense, which is how last-year's cleanup crew clocked in and played like starters in their second game.
It's almost beautiful, really. Tito, grab me a tissue...
Sing it, Jim.
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Can’t we just call him the son of Animal?
Ooooooooohhhhhh What a Russhhhhh!!!
by AUAlum on Sep 11, 2006 8:26 AM EDT reply actions
Jermaine, top teasing!
by Gators Rule the Earth and Beyond on Sep 11, 2006 9:11 AM EDT reply actions
All I could think every time I watched Colt McCoy was “that’s not Vince Young”.
I don’t care what Herbstreit or anyone else says about it, I am un-impressed.
by Boclive on Sep 11, 2006 9:14 AM EDT reply actions
Can’t you find a picture of Davie that doesn’t have him in a Notre Dame shirt. It brings back bad memories.
by Billy on Sep 11, 2006 9:32 AM EDT reply actions
Obviously Chuck Norris must have been busy with the 50,000+ ladies in Austin and missed the game.
by tOSU_radar on Sep 11, 2006 9:45 AM EDT reply actions
Way to go OSU! Your fanbase flooded the public libraries Saturday night to celebrate the victory by surfing porn on government-owned computers and masturbating.
by Arse on Sep 11, 2006 9:53 AM EDT reply actions
I just looked up the profile of James Laurinaitis, no face paint, spikeless shoulder pads, sensible haircut.
Unless he puts Anthony Morelli on his shoulders and lets a DB closeline him, I’ll be a little disappointed.
by AUAlum on Sep 11, 2006 10:07 AM EDT reply actions
Hey all you people complaining about Bob Davie in the booth, need to step back and realize that we Domers had to have him on the sidelines for 5 years. Stick that in your pipe and smoke it, then have a little more sympathy for our collective love of Weis. We’ve seen things you can’t unsee, and we never want to go there again.
by Wooderson on Sep 11, 2006 10:33 AM EDT reply actions
Even the folks in “Bring Your Own Telescope” seats could watch that ass whooping on that big damn TV.
by Cool Hand Mike on Sep 11, 2006 10:50 AM EDT reply actions
I would rather listen to Terry Bowden sing the classics than listen to Bob Davie on another telecast.
And could somebody please tell Bob Griese that the “r” in Warshington is silent.
I bet that f*ck whistles in the elevator, too.
by SeaTrojan on Sep 11, 2006 12:28 PM EDT reply actions
If Bob Davie and Jenn Sterger mated, their offspring would be made entirely of silicon and rich, Corinthian leather.
by Phil K. on Sep 11, 2006 12:34 PM EDT reply actions
Jim Tressel’s Todesfugue…connections that the rest of us just can’t see.
by Phil K. on Sep 11, 2006 12:38 PM EDT reply actions
Wooderson, as a fellow ND fan, that’s precisely WHY I hate him in the booth – I witnessed his complete and utter lack of football knowledge first hand, and thus am thoroughly offended that anyone would regard him as a “footbaw” expert.
by eirishis on Sep 11, 2006 12:42 PM EDT reply actions
Anyone notice the stigmata that erupted on Mack Brown’s upper lip sometime after the half?
by kate on Sep 11, 2006 12:44 PM EDT reply actions
Isn’t Colt McCoy a pornstar with a bad Mustache….Yeah where is that Jen Sterger at? I wanna ask her about her feelings in regards to the Tukey Cramer procedure…
by Bucknasty on Sep 11, 2006 12:50 PM EDT reply actions
The stigmata occured just after the holding penalty called when McCoy had run for a first down (I checked it out later on the DVR). At first I thought he had been eating a chocolate bar but, due to the lack of penalties on UT at that point, realized he had probably been rimming the ref’s.
I now might have to buy a burning couch shirt to honor my brethren in C-bus. Damn, boys, can’t you leave the crazy sh!t to WVU?
by Cal Buckeye on Sep 11, 2006 12:57 PM EDT reply actions
Orson, that description of OSU’s offense was pure poetry.
Sure feels good!
by Tony on Sep 11, 2006 1:01 PM EDT reply actions
I saw the herpes outbreak on Mack’s lip too. I thought is was just my TV, but it appears to be payback for the ulcer I got at the Rose Bowl game.
Orson – I never notice the whole Bob Davie “footbaw” thing before you mentioned it the other week. I found myself fully concentrating on his speech so much that I had to watch the big plays again since I missed them the first time around.
by Rex Cramer on Sep 11, 2006 1:14 PM EDT reply actions
If the OSU gameplan was baroque, then I think the Texas gameplan was minimalist with a hint of Dada-ist hyperbole. Think Carravagio in a sweater-vest urinating into a burnt-orange, free standing urinal complete with Bevo piss-cake.
PS: Michigan Still Sucks
by Duke on Sep 11, 2006 1:22 PM EDT reply actions
Doesn’t Coach Brown realize he could ride a bike or traipse around the beach more enjoyably after a devastating loss if he took Valtrex?
It’s a brand new day, Mack.
by SeaTrojan on Sep 11, 2006 1:52 PM EDT reply actions
Well done OSU. You deserved the win. Even if Greg Davis hadn’t been re-exposed as the most lame, overly conservative play caller of all time, there is not guarantee this game would have finished with a different result.
Texas fans forgot that Davis was awful because Vince made him look great. Davis is soooo bad that he even got VY into 3rd and 30 situations, it was just that Vince could easily convert that with his feet so Davis didn’t catch heat for it. Now it is back to the Simms years where we will lose 2-3 games every year (that means crushing crappy teams, and going very conservative in “big” games." All of this said, well done OSU, and Texas better be careful with Tech, OU, Nebraska, and aTm.
by The Stos on Sep 11, 2006 2:29 PM EDT reply actions
eirishis, I suppose you too may have attended ND during the coaching abortion that was Davieham. Were you among the many (like myself) who drank the koolaid in 2002 after the FSU game? My dad gets to see a national title and hang with Joe Theisman, I get these fucktards.
by Wooderson on Sep 11, 2006 3:48 PM EDT reply actions
“But you forgot one thing: rock crushes scissors.
…but paper covers rock. And scissors cuts paper!
Kif, we have a conundrum. Search them for paper, and bring me a rock.”
Aside from not shutting up when he should let Herbstreit and Musburger talk… Bob Davie seems to know the X&O portion of the game fine, but he sounds like a complete ass when he questions a coaching decision. He’s always off-base, and Herbstreet has had to set him straight a few times already in this short season.
by J.J. on Sep 11, 2006 5:53 PM EDT reply actions
Wooderson, I actually never got to go to ND (ok, so I chose Georgetown – my bad) – I grew up as a fan as my dad was ’76. So he got the end of the Ara era and one championship, and I grew up wondering why the administration thought Bob Davie was such a big fucking improvement over Lou Holtz. Then Holtz went on TV and I figured out why.
As to Willie, I completely drank the Kool-Aid in 2002. Guzzled, in fact.
by eirishis on Sep 11, 2006 11:38 PM EDT reply actions
Lee Corso has a baby arm. anyone see that during halftime?
by Buckeyes on Sep 12, 2006 12:37 AM EDT reply actions
“(Peter, btw, thinks Davis put the reins on McCoy completely and totally.) "
Peter’s blog isn’t bad, but you probably don’t want to quote someone who knows as little about football as he does.
To wit:
"Why, exactly, were we running the zone-read option, when there was, in reality, no read and no option? Colt never kept the ball to run, which begs the question why it was ever faked, or considered? The defenders quickly figure out that he wasn’t going to keep the ball for himself. Why, then, wouldn’t you just run out of a power I formation? Or any other power running set? What purpose did the zone-read serve? If Colt’s not going to run the football, and isn’t going to be making a read on “run or hand off,” then there’s no read for the defense, either."
There are three plays to the Dart series, the Dart (zone) Read, the Outside Zone, and the Dart Trap. texas runs the Dart Read and Outside Zone almost exclusively. Peter doesn’t seem to know the difference between these two plays.
“On that score, I’m not sure where the blame totally falls. Part of it needs to be on Davis, who ought to have been telling him, “Son, you gotta keep that football sometimes. That’s how the play works.” Some of it’s on McCoy, then, as there were multiple plays when McCoy handed off on the wrong read – Vince, for example, would have ran the same play, but upon seeing the end race up the field, kept the football and cut inside himself. Colt never made that happen."
Actually, when running the Dart Read, you don’t just randomly keep the football, as Peter thinks. You actually READ the DE (hence the play name), and make your choice based on what he does. His explanation of “what Vince would have done” is incorrect, b/c it is the wrong read. If the unblocked DE comes up field, the QB makes the Give read, and the TB attacks the 1 tech. Peter somehow thinks he’s supposed to make the Keep read, and “cut inside”. The sad thing is, he’s criticizing Colt for making the correct read and the correct read. That’s just asinine.
by Beergut on Sep 12, 2006 2:48 AM EDT reply actions
Doh!!!
Edit:
"The sad thing is, he’s criticizing Colt for making the correct read and the correct read. "
should read
"The sad thing is, he’s criticizing Colt for making the correct read and the correct play. "
by Beergut on Sep 12, 2006 3:54 AM EDT reply actions
We all know the saying from Full Metal Jacket… ‘Holy dog sh*t. Texas? Only steers and queers come from Texas, Private Cowboy. And you don’t look much like a steer to me so that kinda narrows it down. Do you suck d*cks?"
Mack Brown’s herpes answered that question!
by osubudman on Sep 12, 2006 1:42 PM EDT reply actions
hahahaha, stigmata, hahahaha-so glad somebody mentioned that, thought I was the only one-when delirious one tends to see spots.
by FLBuckeye on Sep 12, 2006 2:13 PM EDT reply actions
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