Our admittedly jacked up Blogpoll appears below, with notes on said jackedupedness below it:

Rank Team Delta
1 Auburn —
2 Southern Cal 1
3 Ohio State 1
4 Texas —
5 Tennessee 3
6 Florida State 10
7 Notre Dame 4
8 Louisiana State 3
9 Iowa 2
10 Louisville 1
11 West Virginia 1
12 Florida 1
13 Nebraska 1
14 Michigan 3
15 Oregon 11
16 Penn State 3
17 Texas Tech 3
18 Clemson 3
19 Miami (Florida) 13
20 Georgia 2
21 Michigan State 2
22 Arizona State 2
23 Minnesota 3
24 Rutgers 2
25 Fresno State 1

Dropped Out: Cal (#10), Virginia Tech (#15), Oklahoma (#18), Duke (#25).

Notes:

–Okay, you can’t move much around in the top five or so since we’re pretty sure any of those four teams could, at any point, demollish any team in the country at this point. Only one team looked to be performing at Max Q efficiency in week one, and they’re sitting at five–Tennessee, who we had loaded up at eight last week anyway. (Ooh, feel the warmth of “right rays” warming the cheeks of our ass…it’s almost like being a pundit!) Southern Cal gets a bump for actually playing someone on the road, even if they did have it at laugher status by halftime.

–Tennessee, as mentioned, gets a five spot for being most impressive in skunking Jeff Tedford’s genius stock for the week. Message board warriors, perhaps you’d like to discuss the implications this game might have on the overall value of the Pac-10 as a conference. No, really, go ahead. We’re not stopping you.

–The rest of the poll is a complete muddle with one glaring error. Speaking of the Pac-10…Oregon needs to be somewhere in the 10-14 range, but we had some problems with Brian’s poll widget. They did beat Stanford, but a conference game in which you ballbust your opponent, hang forty on them, and play well against an offense capable of scoring points, you deserve bump. Blame the musician for their lowly ranking, not the instrument–we need to fix that. (Now bumped up to 15…hmm, still doesn’t quite look right.)

–Virginia Tech doesn’t appear because…well, we plead incompetence. We usually do. They need to be somewhere around 15, since they looked fine in their opener and were, as we predicted, the same team they always are minus some speed and impressive felony potential under center. Oklahoma, on the other hand, has no quarterback and almost lost to UAB. On notice!

–And Miami and Cal richly deserve their respective demotion. We depolled Cal altogether because such a public and unsightly pants-soiling deserves a commensurate response, but note also that Cal claimes a serious quarterback problem with few solutions in sight. Their long term prospects hinge entirely on the alchemy of Marshawn Lynch’s running and a defense that couldn’t rattle Eric Ainge. Not promising.

Miami’s offense under Larry Coker has gotten progressively worse each year he’s been the head coach of Miami. There’s little reason for a pattern-minded brain to expect any change in that pattern, even with a new coordinator on board. Buster Davis did singlehandedly dismantle their offensive gameplan Monday night, but even if you’ve got Lucifer McBadass at MLB one player shouldn’t have that kind of impact on a first-rank program’s offense. On notice!

–And who doesn’t like Fresno State? The answer to this question is always: no one.