A rumor has been going on around the internets that Florida had produced some promotional t-shirts that instead of reading “2006″ in Roman numerals actually read “26.” Some have defended this as a taunt to Florida State fans, since FSU could have scored that many points and still not won the 2005 game. Citing our inside sources, though, we have to come clean and unveil a little-known secret about Florida football: it was actually founded in the year 26 AD in the Eastern Han Empire, China, something only recently discovered by Florida’s archaeology department. The real error on the shirt was the “100 years,” which should have read “1,980 years of middling to good football.”

The history’s been a colorful one. Records indicate that among other accomplishments, Florida football teams through the ages have:

–Fought Tamerlane to a 13-13 draw just north of Samarkand using the flexbone and a few well-time play-action passes by quarterback Ux Ooighmachbey Culpepper.

–Singlehandedly brought yrsinia pestiis to the Istanbul on an ill-fated road trip ca. 1327

–Served as the personal bodyguard to Archduke Franz Ferdinand of Serbia. Defense, obviously, was not the team’s strength.

The most interesting thing about the discovery? Galen Hall was the first head coach, making his more recent 20th century tenure his second at the school.


That should read “1,980″ years, sir.