FLORIDA PR SETS THE RECORD STRAIGHT.
by Orson on Sep 1, 2006 9:55 AM EDT
Email
PrintA rumor has been going on around the internets that Florida had produced some promotional t-shirts that instead of reading "2006" in Roman numerals actually read "26." Some have defended this as a taunt to Florida State fans, since FSU could have scored that many points and still not won the 2005 game. Citing our inside sources, though, we have to come clean and unveil a little-known secret about Florida football: it was actually founded in the year 26 AD in the Eastern Han Empire, China, something only recently discovered by Florida's archaeology department. The real error on the shirt was the "100 years," which should have read "1,980 years of middling to good football."
The history's been a colorful one. Records indicate that among other accomplishments, Florida football teams through the ages have:
--Fought Tamerlane to a 13-13 draw just north of Samarkand using the flexbone and a few well-time play-action passes by quarterback Ux Ooighmachbey Culpepper.
--Singlehandedly brought yrsinia pestiis to the Istanbul on an ill-fated road trip ca. 1327
--Served as the personal bodyguard to Archduke Franz Ferdinand of Serbia. Defense, obviously, was not the team's strength.
The most interesting thing about the discovery? Galen Hall was the first head coach, making his more recent 20th century tenure his second at the school.
That should read "1,980" years, sir.
27 comments
|
0 recs |
Do you like this story?
Comments
In UF’s latin defense, I did manage to get my graduation date tattooed on me in Roman numerals correctly….I think….wait, I’ll go check….OH SONOFABITCH!
by italiangator on Sep 1, 2006 10:06 AM EDT reply actions
So the real question is, what’s funnier, this, or the crocodile on the media guide a few years back?
by Flibbetigibbet on Sep 1, 2006 10:16 AM EDT reply actions
What’s this, then? “Romanes eunt domus”? People called Romanes, they go, the house?
by irishoutsider on Sep 1, 2006 10:17 AM EDT reply actions
That is the funniest thing ever posted on this site.
by Orson and Co. are funny on Sep 1, 2006 10:19 AM EDT reply actions
Where does The Redacted One fit into all this?
by Burnigator Prime on Sep 1, 2006 10:30 AM EDT reply actions
Galen Hall? So y’all were on probation from 29 AD through 32 AD?
by DevilGrad on Sep 1, 2006 10:37 AM EDT reply actions
[Name Redacted’s] years were represented by the zeros. In true redaction form they have been removed, thus the 2006 now shows 26.
by Geaux Irish on Sep 1, 2006 10:38 AM EDT reply actions
Even back in 29 AD Chan Gailey’s squad from Jericho went 7-5.
by Geaux Irish on Sep 1, 2006 10:39 AM EDT reply actions
We have no idea who you’re talking about.
And yes, suspensions did follow Caliph Hall’s reign. Thus the move to the Finno-Urgic league, where UF played from 29 A.D. through the mid 600s.
by Orson Swindle on Sep 1, 2006 10:40 AM EDT reply actions
Just for the record, while Jesus drafted by fantasy football team, the Bear made my picks for Saturday, and the Bear likes Cal by 10 over Tennessee. Just so you know.
by Newspaper Hack on Sep 1, 2006 10:53 AM EDT reply actions
wearetheboys.com is saying that it was pepsi’s fault. i’m willing to believe that.
by adam on Sep 1, 2006 11:01 AM EDT reply actions
Hack, can you promote any more bias for Cal than having a “bear” make the prediction? If that’s how we’re going to play, Davy Crockett predicts Tennesse by 4. So there.
by Aerobab on Sep 1, 2006 11:05 AM EDT reply actions
My dad always said that Archibald Stadium (old Syracuse) was proof that the Romans had settled the new world – now, thanks to pepsi, we have more evidence.
I’ll bet that Keith Jackson was there – “Holy Brontotherium”
by PSUgirl on Sep 1, 2006 11:26 AM EDT reply actions
Well played, Geaux. Well played, indeed.
by Burnigator Prime on Sep 1, 2006 11:36 AM EDT reply actions
This reminds me of the guys that get chinese letters tattooed on themselves. They think it means “love” or “hate” but it really means “sack licker”
by ohiodawg on Sep 1, 2006 11:55 AM EDT reply actions
Correction:
Chan Gailey’s Fightin’ Jericho squad went VII-V in 29 AD.
by Broom on Sep 1, 2006 12:21 PM EDT reply actions
For the record, Franz Ferdinand was the Archduke of Austria, not Serbia. He was killed by a Serb.
by Phil K. on Sep 1, 2006 12:59 PM EDT reply actions
This isn’t all that shocking – you’re still one of two states that couldn’t properly count votes. Both powerhouse football states.
Coincidence?
by Corn Nation on Sep 1, 2006 1:07 PM EDT reply actions
now we can blame Pepsi when 21,000 Third World kids fail their Roman numerals test
And an Archbold stadium reference on EDSBS, wow.
by Go IRSH on Sep 1, 2006 1:53 PM EDT reply actions
Blame Pepsi. Ever heard of a bourbon and pepsi? what are we thinking
by Josh on Sep 1, 2006 2:09 PM EDT reply actions
What are the chances of the EDBS store picking up those shirts from Pepsi and selling them for a pittance?
Barring that, I guess we can expect to see teenage Angolan militia conscripts rockin them on the Fox News Channel for years to come..
by jaybuzz on Sep 1, 2006 3:08 PM EDT reply actions
It’s no wonder there’s been so much violence in Angola – those poor people think the Bills won four straight Super Bowls… and what kind of world would that be?
by peachy on Sep 1, 2006 4:01 PM EDT reply actions
What the hell happenned to that poor bastards finger?
by Kecalf Bailey on Sep 1, 2006 4:05 PM EDT reply actions
Dang! I just missed being commenter #26.
Actually, those in the know will recognize this as a subversive celebration of Florida State Road 26, also known as University Ave during its course through Gainesville. SR26 is the main strip that forms the northern border of campus which also borders The Swamp, and is home to such academically-rich watering holes as the Purple Porpoise Oyster Pub.
Not that I ever attended UF or hold any degrees from there, of course.
by Abel Pharmboy on Sep 5, 2006 3:47 PM EDT reply actions
Comments For This Post Are Closed
Secondary Sidebar
User Tools
FanPosts
Community blog posts and discussion.
Certain photos copyright © 2012 by Associated Press or Getty Images. Any commercial use or distribution without the express written consent of Associated Press and Getty Images is strictly prohibited.
