BOOTY HIGHLIGHTS.

by Orson on Aug 29, 2006 4:31 PM EDT

We're a little behind the curve here, in case you didn't notice. We just bought a pair of the deckest jeans; they're really big everywhere, but especially through the pant legs, so you walk around like you just don't give a fuck or something. And this rap group Onyx? They're just awesome. And just in case you haven't had one yet, the Big Montana at Arby's is off the chain! Especially with gobs of horsey sauce. Eat one of those and you're ready to start your own 'zine or something.

One last thing we have to turn you on to: USC football. We've been sitting around the EDSBS offices leafing through our old ESPN Magazines, and we've come to a crazee conclusion. (It's not wack--just crazee! Like Crazee Bone from Bone Thugz 'N Harmony, the awesome singing rap group from Cleveland or Omaha or someplace like that. They'll see you at the crossroads right after the first of the month.)

That crazee idea is this: we think Pete Carroll's gonna be all right at USC. In fact, we think they might be national championship contenders when it's all said and done. You know, once they shake off the cobwebs from the Paul Hackett years. With some phenomenal recruiting under his belt, he may be ready to say WASSUP!!! to success. WASSSSSSUUUUUUUP!

Trojan Wire's got this video of their new quarterback John David Booty, who's really lucky to be a person with three names not in jail for multiple murder or a sex crime. The video makes it look like USC's got some talent on offense, which has totally been lacking since Keyshawn Johnson took his damn ball and left town. We've only got one problem with the video: do you want to make a video of your qb playing to a song that talks about how "it's going down?" What? Him? That's bad in one way, as in getting sacked, and ambiguous in another way.

Now if you'll excuse us, we've got to feed our Tamagotchi. Adieu.

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Comments

I ordered ESPN the Mag the first year it came out. But alas, I didn’t speak ebonics, so I had no freaking idea what was being talked about.

by irishjihad on Aug 29, 2006 4:45 PM EDT reply actions

How funny that “Fuck the Police” was playing on my iPod when I read this post.

by The Conscience of a Nation on Aug 29, 2006 4:49 PM EDT reply actions

All this USC love when one of your conference brethren must make the ritual sacrifice to the Trojan Gods in four short days!

You’ve gone Hollywood EDSBS…

by Chris on Aug 29, 2006 4:55 PM EDT reply actions

Reminds me of the funniest crowd sign in the history of televised college football. Must have been 1999 or so, when LSU, quarterbacked by big Booty brother Josh, played at Starkvegas.

Simple, direct, and oh-so to the point: “LSU’S BOOTY STINKS!”

He did, too.

by Will Collier on Aug 29, 2006 5:08 PM EDT reply actions

Anyone notice that USC sure does throw a lot when they are up 30-40 points. Pointing it out not so much because of sportsmanship, but they could have some Mike effing Shula luck to befall them.

by nixforsix on Aug 29, 2006 5:23 PM EDT reply actions

SC may throw a lot when they are up, but it often isn’t the starters doing the throwing. Of course JD Booty’s highlights thus far are when the games are out of hand, that’s when the backups get to play.

When, like last year’s game against Arkansas, the 3rd string guy is throwing touchdowns, that isn’t bad sportsmanship. Leaving in the starters would be.

by oc phil on Aug 29, 2006 5:37 PM EDT reply actions

Pete Carroll is down with Onyx: “Let the boys be boys!”

by Phil K. on Aug 29, 2006 6:07 PM EDT reply actions

If you are Michael McDonald, wouldn’t you want to throw a touchdown pass if you’re in the game?

by David on Aug 29, 2006 6:07 PM EDT reply actions

Best junk time QB in the land!

Instead of watching the real Arky-USC game on Saturday I’m just giong to watch that pixelated clip of “Boot to Patrick Turner For A TD” from last year’s game over and over and over…

by Meds on Aug 29, 2006 6:22 PM EDT reply actions

with a name like John David Booty, it’s really just a matter of time before that multiple murder or sex crime.

by The Big Picture on Aug 29, 2006 8:40 PM EDT reply actions

Honestly though, how can anyone not cheer for a quarterback named Booty……….

by Jeff on Aug 29, 2006 10:19 PM EDT reply actions

with a name like John David Booty, it’s really just a matter of time before that multiple murder or sex crime.

“Or”? We already have current and alumni athletes that have done one or the other; Booty would need to go for the double whammy to stand out.

Anyone notice that USC sure does throw a lot when they are up 30-40 points.

As Phil pointed out, last season the back-ups had to get reps sometime.

Plus, the laws of football require that when SC implodes for real and is on the way down, the opposition put ruthless beat-downs on the Trojans. On that basis, no reason to avoid some pre-emptive thrashings.

I shall be watching this season from behind the couch, just in case. Until it’s time to bring a little bit of Morgantown to Chocolate City and hit the ignition.

by DC Trojan on Aug 29, 2006 10:30 PM EDT reply actions

yea. if john david is anywhere near as good as his older brother josh….. then SC IS FUCKEDDDDDDDDD. can we get a shout out for abram booty

by S on Aug 29, 2006 11:30 PM EDT reply actions

Abram Booty.

HO!

by E-Man on Aug 30, 2006 12:22 AM EDT reply actions

Was anyone else disappointed by the video after seeing the header “Booty Highlights”?

I really thought we were getting some Vida Guerra.

by GamecockTony on Aug 30, 2006 9:19 AM EDT reply actions

Very little to no yardage after most of those throws. The only time a lot of yardage was gained after the catch was on short passes to the RBs.

Is there any way that Casey Dick from Arkansas gets to play against SC, just for the headlines that could take place in the event of either team winning (and don’t forget Razorback coach)…….

“Arkansas Wins, as Dick Destroys Booty”

“Arkansas’ Dick does not compare to SC’s Booty”

“Dick Pulled by Nutt as Booty Dominates”

by The Sots on Aug 30, 2006 9:37 AM EDT reply actions

O and S,

You have been referenced on NBC.com regarding the ND tailgate portable dance floor.
Yet another example of the hard-hitting journalism we have all come to expect via EDSBS!
Congrats.

http://www.nbcsports.com/cfb/31720/detail.html

by GamecockTony on Aug 30, 2006 9:47 AM EDT reply actions