CHUCK HEATER WILL GO TO HELL TO GET A RECRUIT

I’d expect Texas Tech to compete in the Caribbean given Mike Leach’s love of Pirates

If voodoo is the help with the running game Coach Meyer is looking for, he’s in the right place.

oh, just thought of 2 more:

Stealing one from you guys, Georgia Tech and Uzbekistan, given there similar standing in world affairs/college football.

And how about Iran and BYU, since they don’t like fun (drinking/casual sex).

Pete Carroll in Rio de Janeiro. Aside from obvious comparisons between Southern Cal and Brazil (mind-bogglingly talented stars, flashy style of play in the middle a of world-renowned ghetto), Carroll’s coaching philosophy is summed up by the name of one of Rio’s Carnival parades: “‘Simpatia é Quase Amor’: One of the most popular parades in Ipanema. Translates as ‘Friendliness is almost love’.”

Colorado State gets New Zealand, the land of more sheep than people.

I doubt the NCAA will let you count Indian nations.

Notre Dame gets Italy, both for the obvious papal connection and Charlie Weis’ “connections” in Jersey

If Terry Bowden was still around I’d probably compare him to Kim Jong Il.

Maryland might have the inside track on recruiting in Israel judging by their huge Jewish student population.

http://www.hillel.org/HillelApps/JLOC/Campus.aspx?AgencyId=17863

I think we’ve got the Pontic steppe pretty well wrapped up.

And politically, I think Kansas matches well with that Asscrazyland to which Orson referred earlier.

Maybe Fulmer can go back in time and recruit from the United States of the William Howard Taft era.

Well then Cal gets China, The People’s Republic of Berkeley finally becomes a useful pejorative

Gven their records of success in competition, Virginia and France.

ND also gets an edge in Poland, with so many players lacking the proper number of vowels in their names: Zbikowski, Samardzija, etc.

Also, the obvious Ireland pipeline…

Auburn gets Turkey. Both places smell like crap and all the male inhabitants have a preference for asspipe.

Miami – Australia
“Because iocane comes from Australia, as everyone knows, and Australia is entirely peopled with criminals” – as is “the U”. A perfect recruiting match.

Penn State – Japan
In Japan they have great respect for their elders. So their outstanding football players will naturally gravitate toward JoePa.

The Wondy Pierre-Louis is fantastic when paired with pecan-encrusted salmon and baby squash.

Nice.

Orgeron would fight every single warlord in Haiti to get a recruit…

Auburn may smell like crap (in some places), but it’s of the bovine variety.

In Tuscaloosa, it smells of the human kind, probably because it floods the floors of the bars- I’ve seen it firsthand and actually was there when an LSU fan was paid $100 to drink a cup of it.

That being said, BAMA is a lot like France- it’s inhabitants are whiney, are constantly are burdens on the state, and immediately surrender whenever they are invaded by their rivals to the east, whom they have never defeated on their own soil. In addition, neither has been significant in a long time. The difference between the two is that one isn’t a shithole.

Orgeron would not only fight the warlords, he would kill them and grind their remnants into an etouffee that would put Chef Paul Prudhomme to shame, and feed it to the thousands of starving inhabitants of Haiti.

Egypt would also be a pipeline to GaTech. You know, pyramids and engineers and stuff.

Alabama/Auburn – Iran/Iraq – Very religious constituency. Outsiders have a hard time telling the two apart.

John, you must have been in a Turkish Prison, which undeniably means you’ve seen a grown man naked. Perhaps you like movies about gladiators?

“Orgeron would not only fight the warlords, he would kill them and grind their remnants into an etouffee that would put Chef Paul Prudhomme to shame, and feed it to the thousands of starving inhabitants of Haiti.”

And then kill them all to remind them that he giveth, and he taketh away.

West Virginia would own Somalia, they’d be used to things burning in the streets.

I’d say that Hawaii would have the recruiting edge in Japan, but Hawaii’s a territory of Japan already…right?

I thought ND already had the Eastern European market sewn up. Darius Walker is getting his name changed to Dimitri Wazikinizci just so he can fit in.

Nice try AU03.

Comparing Bama to France is a real long reach, and frankly, you didn’t make it.

Enjoy your brief opp to make inane historical statements on four years worth of datapoints. You must have taken statistics as a directed study course at Auburn.

And oh, by the way, the next time you want to talk smack about another SEC team being “whiny” and without bravado remember my words to you now.

At perhaps its lowest moment in modern SEC history Auburn had the opportunity to make a statement. After firing little Terry Bowden it could have faced Diddy and said to the world “We are Auburn, and we are scared of no team”. Instead, it plunked down its money like the schoolyard twist, tucked its tail between its legs, and wandered off like the scared pansy it was. Just like the French.

Pussies.

2002- “We only lost because coach Fran was leaving.”
2003- “We only lost because we weren’t any good.”
2004- “We only lost because Brodie was hurt.”
2005- “We only lost beause our line was hurt.”

Keep the whining and excuses coming, John. You are in denial. Oh, wait, I didn’t even mention probation. “We were on probation.” Last time we were on probation, we beat you when you were defending national champs.

I see you were referring to the FSU incident (wow, a BAMA fan bringing up something that happened last century- I didn’t see that coming). Bobby Bowden didn’t want to play us after we fired his son, either, so the agreement to nix the series was mutual. We took the blame, and we paid up, because we (read, Bobby Lowder) fired his son.

Keep spinning shit to make yourself feel better, John. If that’s what you have to do at 1:30 AM while you drown yourself in whiskey, (sic) go right ahead. I stand behind my comparison, which I feel is spot-on, having attended every Iron Bowl in T-town since they started playing there again. You have not shown one reason why it wasn’t- you just tried to turn it back on us, and like the last 4 Iron Bowls, you failed miserably.

Another thing- learn to take a fucking joke. If you are going to sit there and compare Auburn to Turkey, because, “all the male inhabitants have a preference for asspipe,” you need to learn to take comparisons that actually have some basis to them.

AU03,

The truth still stings doesn’t it? In the eyes of those who love college football Auburn will always be the suit that folded cheaply. It’s one of the reasons that people associate your lone undefeated season with hometown tractor parades that declare you the king of nothing.

I haven’t made excuse one for Bama’s performance over the last 4 years. I’ve been going to the Iron Bowl since 1966, so I take a somewhat broader view than someone who likely took statistics as a directed reading course at Auburn.

I took Business statistics, as required for my major, as well as a graduate-level Forecasting class, which involved use of the SAS system.

No directed studies classes and no sociology.

Speaking of stats, the only one in the post in which you are referring is the $100 the LSU fan got paid for drinking sewage from the floor of Galette’s (sp?), so I harldy see grounds in attacking my statistical education, which has nothing to hide in terms of vaildity.

But if you want stats, here’s one:

In a sample of 30 of your comments, the mean is, your an asshole, whith a standard deviation of 0.

Boston College gets Canada. Our #2 receiver, Kevin Challenger, and our former longsnapper Francois Brochu (sic?) are both have igloos up there. Don’t forget BC’s hockey ties either, although I’m sure most of the mullet-sporters are local New England products.

U BICH (Univ. of Boston in Chestnut Hill) gets Stalinist Russia, just as Stalin turned on FDR & Churchill, they turned on their ‘comrades’ of the Big East.

“In a sample of 30 of your comments, the mean is, your an asshole, whith a standard deviation of 0. "

You appear to be long on analysis that produces meaningless statistics and very short on skills in language composition. Congratulations on your Business Statistics degree from Auburn.

Maybe after you finish your graduate work in forecasting they can teach you the difference between a possessive pronoun and a contraction.