ARKANSAS: LAND OF THE HEMICURSE GETS TOE UP
by Orson on Jul 31, 2006 7:30 AM EDT
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Arkansas as a football state is not exactly cursed. They have a cool mascot--mmm, bacon--a history of good, and if not good at least interesting coaches, and lunatic fans willing to make piggie noises loudly and in public.
However, they're not exactly living on the shiny side of karma's ass, either. In our own lifetime as a football fan, Arkansas has always been this close to doing something before imploding or being struck down by something resembling dumb luck or a "half-curse," which we'll refer to here as the hemicurse. They always play hard yet lose due to offensive power outages or improbable last minute plays by the opposition; they make SEC championship games only to have Clint Stoerner fumble while running the clock out or Ben Hanks intercept an option pitch. And their phenoms inevitably flunk out or suffer sophomore slumps that stretch well into their junior and senior years.
Fumbling toward ecstasy agony.
All of this makes Darren McFadden--aka Defense Department Weapons Project X34b "Universal Warrior"--getting his toe broken in a bar fight Saturday night all the more expected, since this is exactly the kind of thing you should expect when it comes to Arkansas football. McFadden dislocated the toe early, early on Saturday morning at Palace the Club in Fayetteville in an incident that got as sloppy as you could expect for Arkansas at four in the morning:
"Darren was kicking and kicking at him and his shoe came off and his foot hit the pavement," Millsap said.
The other man in the fight fled when police arrived, according to a security guard.
Sgt. James Lesher of the Little Rock Police Department said that while the fight was going on, someone stole the car McFadden's stepbrother was driving.
That's as bad a night as we can remember having in college, and we didn't even dislocate our toe kicking the pavement. Though early reports indicate that McFadden will not play Sept 2 against USC in Fayetteville, we bet Houston Nutt will have McFadden's whole family bound and gagged in a warehouse somewhere on campus in order to extort the wunderkind into playing through the pain. Nutt's already double mortgaged the house in order to keep his job this year, and a desperate man takes desperate measures. Given the slow creep of the Hawg Hemicurse and Nutt's verified Boss Hog insanity, it wouldn't be surprising.
Crazy like a...well, just flat-out crazy, actually.
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man, i keep on thinking how nebraska really dodged a bullet when nutt turned down the huskers in 2k3.
that god we now have glorious leader coach bill callahan to lead huskernation back to the promised land!
by rt on Jul 31, 2006 7:40 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Although there will be no charges as a result of the fight, is there anything in the cards for “dranking-style tomfoolery”?
by E-Man on Jul 31, 2006 9:09 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Besides our respect? Unfortunately, no.
by Orson Swindle on Jul 31, 2006 10:11 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Do you get dumb ass points in the Fulmer Cup? Running backs should handle confrontations the same way women do, talk a lot of shit and then let your protection(i.e. offensive lineman) stick up for you.
by Cool Hand Mike on Jul 31, 2006 10:12 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
You know, there are only two good things about bacon. The taste and the smell.
It feels like a Wendy’s Big Bacon Classic Combo kind of day.
by Rome on Jul 31, 2006 10:15 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
I’m confused: should I be pleased that our drunken players can actually connect with something other than the ground when they attack the general public? Or annoyed that they can’t rise to this level of masterful self-destruction?
by DC Trojan on Jul 31, 2006 10:30 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
He got in the fight because some dude “Gangbanging in Little Rock” tried to steal his step-brother’s car. I hope he beat that guy within an inch of his life, he did the right thing.
by MP on Jul 31, 2006 10:53 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
DC, you should be pleased that the other show just fell off for the Hawgs’ slim hope of an upset against your Trojans.
by AUAlum on Jul 31, 2006 10:53 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
That picture of Houston Nutt looks just like Buddy Lee from Levi Jeans.
by Cool Hand Mike on Jul 31, 2006 11:04 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
As one of 43 Arkansas fans that knows how to use the interwebs, I fully admit here to having thrown up a little in my mouth when I read that article Saturday on ESPN.
Thank god we have another running back in Felix Jones who also moves as a red shift of light.
He’s not McFadden of course, but who amongst us is?
by Chris on Jul 31, 2006 11:57 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
is mcfadden that guy that had like -25 yards against us last year
by S on Jul 31, 2006 1:18 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Having no idea who “us” is, I’m not sure, but he did put up over 1100 yards on about 170 carries over the course of the year as a true freshman with torn cartiledge in his knee basically the entire season—-so any attempt to degrade his quality is met with a guffaw.
GUFFAW!!!
(and I think his worst game was against Ole Miss, and that was a shatty game—-but not -25 yards bad)
by Chris on Jul 31, 2006 1:44 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Sorry to bring it up, but could Paul or one of the 42 other computer literate Hogs give me the name of the QB who somehow laid the ball on the ground against UT back in the late 90’s, wrecking the Razorbacks’ SEC title hopes?
Feel fry to sob for a few minutes before posting the answer.
by andrew on Jul 31, 2006 2:10 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
God bless Clint Stoerner.
And Billy Ratliff, the Vols’ DT, who instead of phoning it in, pushed back OL Brandon Burlsworth, over whose foot Stoerner tripped, causing the fumble.
And whomever called that pass play.
by volpundit on Jul 31, 2006 2:39 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Let us keep in mind (as it never leaves my mind long enough as it is) that the Hogs were undefeated at 8-0 going into that game against UT so it didn’t just kill SEC title dreams—the “we want to die now” loss the next week against MSU did that…
And I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a pass play – Clint was dropping back just to move around and kill the clock. And that worked out well clearly.
At least the revenge win the next year in Fayetteville was sweet.
I’m anxious for Ark-Tenn to start playing again this year, with the exception of a couple asswhoopings from your boys, I always enjoyed the Ark-Tenn game…even if Ark is only like 2-10 in it.
by Chris on Jul 31, 2006 3:17 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
you know the school that bumrapes yall(barring matt jones hail marys) every last friday of november, day after thanksgiving, your so called “arch rival”
by S on Jul 31, 2006 5:25 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
I don’t really know anyone else who thinks of LSU as our “arch rival” although we do play for that boot in a display of forced rivalry, I think most Arkansas fans consider the big rival to be Texas, hence we can’t wait to get them back on the schedule again.
And while LSU does hold an 9-5 lead over Arkansas since we joined the SEC, I don’t think that qualifies as a bumraping.
Nor does it when your 9 win team barely escapes a 4 win team by 2pts last year.
And yes, LSU did do a fine job of containing McFadden to something around 60 yards on 25 carries. Kudos.
by Chris on Jul 31, 2006 7:11 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
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