SEC Media Days are going on now (Florida’s on from 10ish to 12ish today. We’re looking forward to Urb saying something like “nut up” or “beat them ’till they wet their pants,” or anything else identifying him as a guy who secretly watches tape of “UFC’s Greatest Knockouts” late at night.) They’re great sources for loads and loads of non-information usually, but in one case they actually provided shocking news out of Knoxville: Phil Fulmer is an admitted mutant.

“I’d never been through anything like I just went through,” Fulmer said. “It was a new experience. You’re darned right. My stinger is out pretty good.”

Phil Fulmer has a stinger? Yikes. He must only use it on pizza delivery boys, since we imagine speed would an issue for a rampaging Fulmer looking to stun prey. He must rely on surprise…


Don’t let him get too close, [NAME REDACTED]!!! On second thought, go ahead and cuddle up with him while you’re there.