PHIL FULMER HAS A STINGER.
SEC Media Days are going on now (Florida’s on from 10ish to 12ish today. We’re looking forward to Urb saying something like “nut up” or “beat them ’till they wet their pants,” or anything else identifying him as a guy who secretly watches tape of “UFC’s Greatest Knockouts” late at night.) They’re great sources for loads and loads of non-information usually, but in one case they actually provided shocking news out of Knoxville: Phil Fulmer is an admitted mutant.
“I’d never been through anything like I just went through,” Fulmer said. “It was a new experience. You’re darned right. My stinger is out pretty good.”
Phil Fulmer has a stinger? Yikes. He must only use it on pizza delivery boys, since we imagine speed would an issue for a rampaging Fulmer looking to stun prey. He must rely on surprise…
Don’t let him get too close, [NAME REDACTED]!!! On second thought, go ahead and cuddle up with him while you’re there.
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1
Galen says:
A Fulmer does not need surprise to hunt, he uses a combination of beautiful orange plumage and a delightful cheesy aroma to hypnotize his prey.
July 28th, 2006 at 9:14 am
2
tbmd96 says:
I don’t even know what he could be talking about. Is there a babelfish translator for Tennessee dialect?
July 28th, 2006 at 9:31 am
3
irishoutsider says:
Fulmers are generally scavengers, feeding on debris in the benthic layer. Their diet consists of plankton and other organic matter found in the sea. One way they might get a supply of food is to position themselves in a current where they can catch food that flow by with their tentacles when they open. Another way is to sift through the bottom sediments using their tentacles. They can be found in great numbers beneath fish farms.
No wait…that’s sea cucumbers…
July 28th, 2006 at 9:32 am
4
RollTIde says:
Does he not realize that the puffy starter jacket makes him look somewhere between the size of a Parcell and a Weiss, with all that insulation you would think he could wear a fucking t-shirt and be warm. I can only imagine what sweat-feeding organisms are growing inside that jacket.
July 28th, 2006 at 9:38 am
5
GamecockTony says:
A) It’s Weis and
B) CW orbits around Phat Phil.
July 28th, 2006 at 10:46 am
6
AUAlum says:
I’m just pissed you can’t see Fulmer’s Zoomba pants in that picture.
July 28th, 2006 at 10:51 am
7
rjm says:
Don’t you mean zubaz?
July 28th, 2006 at 11:29 am
8
AUAlum says:
I guess; I never owned a pair, I’ve only heard about them in passing. They seem to be bigger in Florida than Alabama, though I’m not judging.
July 28th, 2006 at 12:11 pm
9
ESMjr. says:
your headline made me think he’d been involved in a head-on collision with mangino over the last slice of desert pizza on the buffet…
July 28th, 2006 at 12:15 pm
10
Pants McPants says:
Woo-hoo! Still no sign of Ohio State on the board!….
Holy Living Fuck, did I just say that out loud?
How do you delete posts here???????
Shit…..(runs away)
July 28th, 2006 at 12:17 pm
11
GatorInGeorgia says:
I heard a report on the radio that the Master of the McRib had lost 45 pounds. If its true then I assume many homeless families in Knoxville at least have orange tents to sleep under now.
July 28th, 2006 at 12:20 pm
12
Pants McPants says:
My post above is in the wrong feature…I think this is the second time I’ve done this…
Please give me a timeout…
Gracias…
July 28th, 2006 at 12:28 pm
13
View from Rocky Top » Blog Archive » Two-minute drill: More SEC Media Days, receivers catching bricks, and behind the scenes with Fulmer’s stinger says:
[...] I guess he does have his stinger out. [...]
July 28th, 2006 at 10:28 pm
14
John in Hsv says:
“OOOoohhhh!!!!
For the love of God!!!!!
Please Stop!!!!!!
—-Phil Fulmer’s heart
July 29th, 2006 at 12:06 am
15
Dave says:
What Phillip and Victoria Fulmer do in the privacy of their marital bed really has no place for discussion at SEC Media Days.
On the other hand, you gotta hand it to “Vicky” for keeping things fresh after more than 30 years of marriage. What do you suppose she did that he’d “never been through anything like I just went through.” “It was a new experience.” Especially since his “stinger” was still “out” days later.
July 29th, 2006 at 11:01 am
16
Wiscy Dick says:
If your stinger is still out after 4 hours, aren’t you supposed to seek medical attention? I thought that’s what the commercial said. Though what is the doctor going to do, hit it with a hammer?
July 29th, 2006 at 11:51 pm
17
S says:
phil fulmer also has a cooter
July 30th, 2006 at 12:46 am
18
John in Hsv says:
If my “stinger” is still out after four hours I’m not going to call my doctor.
I’m gonna call a hooker.
July 30th, 2006 at 11:06 pm
19
Beaver says:
I doubt that Phillip has a stinger. I would imagine at best a STUB.
December 6th, 2006 at 4:30 pm