UT RECRUIT ALLEGEDLY IMPROVED GRADES WITH PENIS
by Orson on Jul 26, 2006 7:35 AM EDT
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PrintA University of Tennessee football recruit is the center of a probe--heh, probe--of a sexual misconduct case involving a Knox County employee, Assistant Principal Kimberly Kallenberg of Powell High School. The recruit, Joseph Lee Smith, has denied having sexual conduct with Kallenberg at any time during his time at Powell, where he was "a multisport standout" and starred on the football team at tight end (double heh) /defensive end. Kallenberg allegedly tampered with students' grades, as well.
If the allegations are true, then Joseph Lee Smith--fortunate to be a gifted athlete, since a name like that usually buys you a ticket straight to a multiple felony charge--may have improved his grades with his penis, a feat that deserves some sort of commendation or award. Most of us can only do the towel rack trick, and here he is converting Cs to As with it. Magic wand, indeed.
BTW, judging from the picture, Kallenberg must have a Clan of the Cave Bear thing. The Jondalar of Powell High School has enrolled at UT for Summer School, where he will be allowed to screw easy grades out of the faculty without dropping his pants.
Well, Linda Bensel-Myers is off the potential date list.
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Most of my principals were 50+ years old. I think I would have stayed ineligible, thanks.
by heath on Jul 26, 2006 7:45 AM EDT reply actions
So who is making the allegations? If he denies any wrongful-boinking and she denies it as well, that tells me that a 3rd party is involved somewhere. This sure sounds like just another “Auburn academic ‘fraud’ case” meant to blow shit up unnecessarilly just for the fun of it because somebody pissed somebody else off.
by Aerobab on Jul 26, 2006 8:28 AM EDT reply actions
Allegations? The video will probably be on the internet next week. I couldn’t think of one teacher throughout ALL my years in school that I would’ve nail.
“My instincts start stinking when the little head does the thinking” John Hiatt
by Cool Hand Mike on Jul 26, 2006 8:49 AM EDT reply actions
Nasty. I wouldn’t bang that broad with Phil Fulmer’s dick and Jim Bob Cooter pushing.
by Gob Bluth on Jul 26, 2006 8:59 AM EDT reply actions
Hey Gob, with a last name Cooter, I would figure he’s the receiver not the pusher.
by Cool Hand Mike on Jul 26, 2006 9:29 AM EDT reply actions
Can sexual conquests of older women count as negative Fulmer Cup points?
by PSUrob on Jul 26, 2006 9:30 AM EDT reply actions
Sophia Loren would get you negative points. Points double for every year over 50, number of youngins, divorces, husbands dying under suspicious circumstances, and years employed in the Tennessee school system.
by Cool Hand Mike on Jul 26, 2006 9:44 AM EDT reply actions
by Mike on Jul 26, 2006 11:36 AM EDT reply actions
I couldnt think of one teacher throughout ALL my years in school that I wouldve nail.
My senior year of high school, two new teachers started. They were age 22 & 26. One of them was ridiculously hot. The other was good looking enough.
by Nico on Jul 26, 2006 12:09 PM EDT reply actions
I would do what needed to be done. I’ve slept with woman that are uglier than that. And am proud of it.
by Odell 51 on Jul 26, 2006 1:11 PM EDT reply actions
My problem with this is, he was going to Tennessee. It’s not like he needed A’s. The C’s would have done just fine. So it makes me think he was in it for more than the grades…
by socalirish on Jul 26, 2006 1:20 PM EDT reply actions
When I was a senior there was this first year teacher that had been 17 when she graduated HS and graduated college in 3 years. She was 20 or maybe 21. A couple of my friends ‘took the plunge’ on graduation night. She was pretty hot if you’re into redheads.
by Auburn Fan on Jul 26, 2006 2:35 PM EDT reply actions
A couple of my friends took the plunge on graduation night.
No they didn’t.
by Aerobab on Jul 26, 2006 3:38 PM EDT reply actions
…nor do you know a guy who knows the guys who took the plunge.
by Aerobab on Jul 26, 2006 3:40 PM EDT reply actions
i think this kid reminds Fulmer of Ronald McDonald
by matt on Jul 26, 2006 4:00 PM EDT reply actions
Aerobab,
How the hayull do you know what I know. These guys have no reason to lie, and the fact that she used to “hang out and get drunk” with students certainly wasn’t a red herring.
PS.
There are freaks out there.
by Auburn Fan on Jul 26, 2006 4:21 PM EDT reply actions
Oh, but what a towel rack it is, my love.
by The Conscience of a Nation on Jul 26, 2006 5:13 PM EDT reply actions
No, Auburn Fan, there are not freak(s) out there. There is one, and she’s a very busy lady, what with all the hot high school students, horny pool boys, innocent virginal cousins, bouncers, fraternity brothers, burly young landscapers, hockey teams, EDSBS readers, etc.
by The Conscience of a Nation on Jul 26, 2006 5:18 PM EDT reply actions
Helmet hair. The mullet of the new millenium.
by John in Hsv on Jul 26, 2006 9:01 PM EDT reply actions
Is there some sweet irony here that two of the authors of the newspaper article are named Mellon and Hooker?
by Gridiron fan on Jul 27, 2006 7:35 AM EDT reply actions
Looks like the kids got skillz. I’m glad we signed him.
by Lloyd Braun on Jul 27, 2006 8:52 AM EDT reply actions
Well, I have to say she’s a snappy dresser! But don’t be too hard on the kid. After all, Bill Clinton did that chubby Lewinski gal, and he was the president, for the love of pete. A sasquatch-looking future Vol could do a lot worse.
by UgaLuver on Jul 27, 2006 1:47 PM EDT reply actions
Looks have nothing to do with it. The really sad thing is that she wasn’t even his sister or cousin. It’s getting harder and harder to get good grades anymore. This would have been no problem in Alabama.
by Ron on Jul 28, 2006 3:57 PM EDT reply actions
Kim Kallenberg is a beautiful person. Anyone who says she is ugly has never seen her in person. It’s a shame that these days all a person has to do is make an allegtion against an attrctive woman working in a high school with a bunch of horny teenage boys and her life is ruined forever.
by BOO on Aug 16, 2007 4:06 AM EDT reply actions
I would have nailed her every day if she wanted, she is one sexy woman, and I wouldn’t tell a soul, why lose a good thing like that
by bruce on Sep 20, 2007 7:45 AM EDT reply actions
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