PEPIDEMIOLOGY: CHAPTER ONE REDUX

by Stranko on Jul 17, 2006 12:30 PM EDT

In Orson's absence I decided to recycle some of my favorite old stuff of his since we bearly had any readers at the time. This one is from May of last year and I hope the links still work. Like the old NBC summer slogan used to say, even if it isn't new, it's new to you!

We begin chapter one of our lessons and investigations of Pepidemiology, the science of Pep and fandom in college football, with a brief overview of the most basic element of Pepidemiology, the fight song.

First of all, the fight song is not to be confused with other music played by the band or the PA (hello, Canes) during the course of a game. Georgia may play "Go Georgia Bulldogs," and Texas may play "Yellow Rose of Texas," "Deep in the Heart of Texas," and even "Pussy Got Me Dizzay" by Houston's UGK, they are all not the official fight song of Texas, "Texas Fight." In this chapter we will only be discussing the officially sanctioned fight songs of each school-supplemental music will be covered in subsequent chapters, along with cheers, pregame and ingame traditions, and quality of fan participation, including alcohol tolerance and propensity to fill up the jails on game day.

Clemson fans are experts in the art and science of Pepidemiology. They can also drink quite a bit, too, which helps.
What makes a fight song? A good title helps. The title should be something invoking the name of the school or the team: hence, the Colorado Buffaloes' "Fight CU," or the Wisconsin Badgers' "On Wisconsin." Having an exhortation in there helps, too, like "fight," "fight on," or a noun like "victory" or something irresistable like "march." Any of those will do. Note: a few choice fight songs avoid all of these, instead going for something more evocative, such as Tennessee's "Rocky Top," or even have two fight songs, as in Ohio State's case. As with all rules, exceptions are allowed, as long as they're not too divergent with tradition. The best example of an intolerable choice of fight song came in the early 1990s, when Miami abandoned their traditional "Miami U Fight Song" for "Pop that Thang" by 2 Live Crew. The move was short-lived, but it stands as how NOT to do a fight song at the college level.

The 'Canes were, for a while, as nasty as they wanted to be.
The next important ingredient is sound. Since most theme music for colleges orginated in the 1920s and 30s, the sound is a traditional one with modernist tweaks: military band arrangements with ragtimey accent, typically played very quickly, often ripped through at lightspeed following big plays in games. The songs should not be pleasing to the ear; leave that to the snoozy alma maters. The fight song should sound like one is waltzing with a hippo on methamphetamine, or driving an overloaded truck down a steep mountain road with no brakes, a flat tire, and a head full of schnapps. It should sound like an arrangement three feet from disaster, ideally. Southern bands are allowed slightly funkier arrangements, heavier on the ragtime and jazz; military schools or teams with more martial team names (Trojans, etc.) are allowed more emphasis on precision and pomp. Above all, it should sound like two hundred slightly tipsy college students playing music in wool/poly uniforms with less than perfect musicianship. Unless you're FAMU's band, the best college unit in the land, complete with the best trumpet line and funkadelic dance routines.

All of the rules above are null and void when talking about the amazing FAMU Rattlers' Band.
So you know the basics now. Let's explore the essential tunes, broken down into several different categories:
1. The Musty Classics: USC's "Fight On" is a near-perfect example of what we tab as a classic fight song: pleasantly martial, with a thumping bass drum and a cheeky woodwind interlude in the middle, it could be a fight song or the theme to a WWII caper movie starring David Niven and Lee Marvin as paratroopers leading an impossible mission behind enemy lines. Their arch-nemesis, Notre Dame, also scores high marks for the "Notre Dame Victory March," heavy on the brass and crazy, trilling woodwinds. Meeeechigan's "The Victors" is heavy on the pomp and drama, and just sounds like a team pounding their way down the field. "On Wisconsin" is another classic of great dignity and grandeur, even if we always sing the following lyrics to it:
On Wisconsin,
On Wisconsin,
Give us all your cheese...
Finally, the last two essentials are the best of the academy themes, Navy's "Anchors Aweigh" and Air Force's "Wild Blue Yonder." Both are stirring, fun, and almost make you want to put on a uniform.
2. The Regional Specialties. Down south, the fight songs tend to involve a little more swing to them, consistent with the regional inability to be on time or read directions properly. This has produced classic like LSU's "Fight for LSU" , which even sounds like a New Orleans piano rag, the swingy "Yea Alabama," or even Texas' "Texas Fight", with its smeary trombone parts and mock reveille in the middle.
Some songs go a different way with the regional specialty. The most notable is Tennessee, who took a song describing the murder of snooping outsiders and turned into a hoedowny fight song that soothes the ears of Vols fans and causes most others' to bleed in annoyance, "Rocky Top.". The Civil War still lives in Athens, with UGA adopting "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" as its fight song.
3. The Dullards Much as it pains us to say this, some fight songs are so devoid of character they make Kelly Clarkson sound like Billy Holiday in comparison. The University of Florida, our own alma mater, suffers from a painfully bland fight song, "Orange and Blue." Colorado's "Fight CU" comes dangerously close to a dirge, and Ohio State gets relegated to the "Dullards" category for having not one, but two tepid fight songs. What makes them all so bad? They're practically indistinguishable from the next, a description that could apply to the majority of college fight songs. (Especially the MAC and the Sun Belt conferences: they're posted, but don't bother listening to them. We went through the tedium so you didn't have to, dear reader.) In a final note, we put the otherwise peppy Florida State fight song in this category, not for lack of quality, but for bad planning. The song features a spell-out in the middle that opponents have taken advantage of for years to turn the song against them:
F-L-0-R-I-D-A...S-T-A-T-E!
(Hostile crowd, in unison: SUCKS!)
Florida State! Florida State! Florida State!
(Hostile crowd, again in thunderous unison: SUCKS!)
4. The Hidden Gems. Some fight songs, however, surprise. Maryland's is extremely elegant and classy, with an exceptional sing-along bit. "Mighty Oregon" is another pleasant surprise, very traditional and grand with plenty of trumpet-led choruses and a puffy, critical-sounding bridge. Finally, we have to give the Sunshine State's best fight song to UM,
whose "Miami U Fight Song" has a great chattering drum line part and a tamper-free spellout complete with "Fight fight fight!" in the middle of it. If only you could hear it over the Trick Daddy tunes at the games.
Next week's installment of Pepidemiology will be Supplemental Music and Cheers.. Please review all materials, as there will be a quiz over the material we covered today. We're off to the Pink Pony-good day.
NOTE: All links to fight songs came lovingly from: http://www.netheaduniversity.com and http://fightmusic.com/. Please give 'em some love.

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As far as “Hidden Gems” are concerned, you should check out the University of Maine’s “Stein Song.”

In 1998, the book “College Fight Songs: An Annotated Anthology” named the Maine “Stein Song” as the nation’s sixth best college fight song. It was ranked behind the “Notre Dame Victory March,” “The Victors” (Michigan), “On Wisconsin,” “Down the Field” (Yale), and “Anchors Aweigh” (Naval Academy), and ahead of such noted fight songs as “Fight on USC,” “Ramblin Wreck from Georgia Tech,” “Indiana, Our Indiana,” and “Tiger Rag” (Clemson). (this paragraph from http://goblackbears.cstv.com/trads/main-stein-song.html)

Listen to the Stein Song here: http://www.ume.maine.edu/~PepBand/schoolsongs.html

Any song that mentions “drink” at least 8 times (14 if you count the “drink, drink, drink” thrown in by the students twice), toasting, girls, shouting, and filling “the steins” has to embody the college experience, right?

by Maine-iak on Jul 17, 2006 12:47 PM EDT reply actions

Not that long ago, the Pitt fight song also had an interlude for fan participation: P-E-N-N-S-T Penn State sucks!

Alas, the administration put an end to this…I believe this was about the time the football team moved its games off campus.

by Scott on Jul 17, 2006 12:59 PM EDT reply actions

Just for the record, Tennessees beloved and world-famous anthem of Rocky Top is NOT the fight song of the university. Id be willing to bet a hefty monitary sum that the majority of UT students could not name the schools official song which is Fight Vols Fight. Ill keep this post simple and not even go into all of the misrepresentations of this bit of trivia, including but not limited to media outlets, CFB blogs, EA Sports video games, etc.

by Aerobab on Jul 17, 2006 1:10 PM EDT reply actions

WTF was up with my last post? Once more needed, perhaps?

Just for the record, Tennessee?s beloved and world-famous anthem of ?Rocky Top? is NOT the fight song of the university. I?d be willing to bet a hefty monitary sum that the majority of UT students could not name the school?s official song which is ?Fight Vols Fight?. I?ll keep this post simple and not even go into all of the misrepresentations of this bit of trivia, including but not limited to media outlets, CFB blogs, EA Sports video games, etc.

by Aerobab on Jul 17, 2006 1:24 PM EDT reply actions

Rammer Jammer is the unofficial post game fight song. We sang it pregame also until those pussies at the SEC said the refs would flag Bama for taunting.

We’re gonna beat the hell outta you. Rammer Jammer Yellow Hammer Give em hell Alabama

by Cool Hand Mike on Jul 17, 2006 1:27 PM EDT reply actions

Aerobab, it’s tough having your school associated with a John Denver song. Just hang in there.

by Johnny on Jul 17, 2006 1:32 PM EDT reply actions

Stranko, it is clearly evident that you have never had the pleasure to sit directly behind the USC Trojan marching band while in South Bend on a moderatly cool October afternoon.

Can a fight song be summarily discarded due to the over-usage of the band? The Trojan band plays the same 20-note dirge AFTER EVERY SINGLE FRICKING PLAY, except when the opposing team scores. Oh, look, Notre Dame converted a 3rd and 28..but they didn’t SCORE! Dur, dur, dur, dur, dur, dur, dur…dur dur…

Whatever, I know all you you can hear that blasted tune in your head right now (which is not “Fight On” by the way – its sound more military than Fight On). I guarantee you will hear it permanently imbedded in your brain for the next 2 weeks!

When I fill out my lottery application for my alumni allotment of home tickets, I always exclude applying for the USC game – given my luck, I would be forced to sit behind them for that game.

Maybe things have changed, and someone else can let me know that the USC band is actually forbidden to play their instruments unless they are actually on the field. Tell me that no one else has had to suffer the indignation of having to sit three rows behind one of the most annoying collection of notes short of a Mariah Carey solo.

by chrisnd on Jul 17, 2006 1:56 PM EDT reply actions

ChrisND, it’s called Conquest and it’s specifically designed to drive the opposition insane. Cal and UCLA fans have their own words to go along with it, which is nice of them.

The ONLY known antidote is to go to several seasons’ worth of SC games, after which you will be dimly aware of the tune but no longer bothered by it.

by DC Trojan on Jul 17, 2006 2:07 PM EDT reply actions

No love for “the good old song?” It’s been confusing NCAA video game players for like a decade.

by now_a_hoo on Jul 17, 2006 3:20 PM EDT reply actions

Hey DC Trojan, thanks for the trivia. Regardless, the band certainly has done their jobs if they are they to drive the opposition insane. Even my “ND Hating” friends even think that “Conquest” is incredibly annoying.

by chrisnd on Jul 17, 2006 3:48 PM EDT reply actions

Uh, that’s certainly NOT “Yea Alabama.” Sounds like a video game ditty or something.

by rtr on Jul 17, 2006 4:25 PM EDT reply actions

ChrisND: um, you’re welcome?

by DC Trojan on Jul 17, 2006 5:04 PM EDT reply actions

Hey ChrisND, it worked didn’t it?

And conquest is only after defensive stops. Fight on is after we score. Which is why you heard it so frequently the past four years. And don’t doubt that we played every second of the TV timeout that occurred right before we took that last drive. And don’t think that your players didn’t hear it too.

Oh man its good to be a Trojan.

by USCLink on Jul 17, 2006 5:53 PM EDT reply actions

chrisnd:

“Even my ND Hating friends even think that Conquest is incredibly annoying.”

As a life-long member of the “ND Sucks” club, I find “Conquest” and “Fight On” not annoying at all.

But what do I know. I am also not annoyed by Hulk Hogan’s entrance music.

by Stacey Keibler Luvs Me on Jul 17, 2006 7:43 PM EDT reply actions

For the record, “Tiger Rag” is used by just about every school that has a tiger mascot, proving that their musical selections are just as unoriginal as the nicknames.

by Newspaper Hack on Jul 17, 2006 7:48 PM EDT reply actions

USCLink:

Were you at that game? Cause I was, and your fans and the band were SILENT right until your boy Matty ballet-twirled his way out of the pocket and threw that one long pass.

Oh, and can I quote you on the “Oh man its good to be a Trojan” come November 25?

by MattND09 on Jul 17, 2006 8:02 PM EDT reply actions

Yeah, I wonder if you USC fans are actually fans of the football team, or are masochistic nutjobs who get more enjoyment out of watching the opponents and opponents fans constantly stabbing their ears so that they don’t have to hear “Conquest.”

And hey, USCLink, when I was at Notre Dame during my undergraduate days (you know, back when the Irish were in the midsts of their 11 game win streak vs. USC…) the definition of a “USC Defensive Stop” was when Notre Dame DIDN’T SCORE A TOUCHDOWN. Other than that, all one heard the entire game was either “Conquest” or the announcer saying “Rice, Touchdown” or “Mirer, Touchdown” or “Bettis, Touchdown”. Oh, how I miss the glory days of the ass-whopping that Notre Dame used to put on USC.

Now, we alum (who seem few and far between on this website) have had to suffer through the USC debacle that was the “Davingham Era” that resulted in such USC drubbings to the tune of 45-14 in 2003 and 41-10 in 2004, followed by last year’s debacle.

God only knows how badly I want my Fightin Irish to beat USC this year. It’s our turn, damnit!!!

by chrisnd on Jul 17, 2006 11:52 PM EDT reply actions

Yeah, I wonder if you USC fans are actually fans of the football team, or are masochistic nutjobs who get more enjoyment out of watching the opponents and opponents fans constantly stabbing their ears so that they dont have to hear Conquest.

Since I don’t mind listening to Conquest, that would make me a sadistic nutjob.

by DC Trojan on Jul 18, 2006 1:12 AM EDT reply actions

Johnny, get your facts straight! Rocky Top is a Felice & Boudleaux Bryant songperformed and made popular by The Osbourne Brothers. Im stabbing my ears with a pencil at the thought of Mr. Denver singing my dearest song!

by Aerobab on Jul 18, 2006 8:22 AM EDT reply actions

“Im stabbing my ears with a pencil at the thought of Mr. Denver singing my dearest song! "

Wow, there certainly is a lot of ear stabbing going on, what, between having to listen to “Conquest” and the thought of John Denver singing “Rocky Top.”

by chrisnd on Jul 18, 2006 9:24 AM EDT reply actions

If you think we were silent, you should really watch the game again…you hear us every damn down. Our fans were pretty awful that game…a bunch of donors who didn’t care about football, just wanted to say they were there. That didn’t stop us from beating you now did it? Besides, conquest works, by your own admission.

by USCLink on Jul 18, 2006 12:43 PM EDT reply actions

OMG….Even Trojans are getting it wrong. Let us set the record as straight as Bob Toledo’s route to the Westwood buffet…

USC Fight Song is Fight On.
The dirge that opponents hate but we all love is “Tribute to Troy.”
The victory song is Conquest.
The song we love to sing is Tusk.
The Spirit of Troy also plays 70’s classic, “All Right Now” after every turnover (my personal favorite.)

by Cusano on Jul 18, 2006 12:56 PM EDT reply actions

Cusano – the savior of useless trivia. After today’s post about Pepidemilogy (Pep#2-Cheers), it has been determined that what DCTrojan called “Conquest” is actaully called “Tribute to Troy.”

Regardless of what it is called, it still sucks, and it is still one of the most annoying sounds in college football.

by chrisnd on Jul 18, 2006 1:28 PM EDT reply actions

Chris-

I just want you say “Cusano. Cusano. CUSANO!” over and over again in your sleep, like so many Irish did when the streak was broken.

Notre Dame is not going to win this year either. USC is going to show up, and so will the guys who mow the lawn.

by Cusano on Jul 18, 2006 1:36 PM EDT reply actions

ouch…i’m taking a lap in my head right now

by USCLink on Jul 18, 2006 2:23 PM EDT reply actions

Well paint my ass green and call me a leprechaun, I botched it.

That’ll teach me to look at my USC marching band CD before making any further comments on the subject.

Oh the shame, the ignominy, woe upon my children’s children, alas.

by DC Trojan on Jul 18, 2006 3:06 PM EDT reply actions

Behind the USC band? try sitting across from them – it’s impossible to not, at the very least, tap your foot along.

The big ten, in general, has some classic fight songs – recognizable and very difficult to ignore – so I usually make up my own words to sing silently.

gotta thank burger king for their ads a few years back ingraining all of those melodies into my subconscious.

by PSUgirl on Jul 18, 2006 4:39 PM EDT reply actions

Husker fan here, so my favorites are naturally “Hail Varsity” and “There’s no place like Nebraska”.

by rt on Jul 19, 2006 5:16 AM EDT reply actions

Aerobab can’t get it right either. Not only isn’t Rocky Top the Vols’ official fight song, but “Fight Vols Fight” isn’t either.

Tennessee’s official fight song is Down the Field, which has also been called Here’s to Old Tennessee.

by volpundit on Jul 19, 2006 9:02 AM EDT reply actions

it’s clear that stranko doesn’t know a damn thing about texas a&m from his lack of mention of the “Aggie War Hymn” (for jim beam’s sake, it’s a song for going to WAR) and his allusion to “bevo chasing some aggie cheerleaders” (there are no cheerleaders) in an aug. 2005 post.

by Brad on Jul 19, 2006 11:16 AM EDT reply actions

ok..i take it back, i need to read all the posts. he displays a cursory knowledge of a&m by making mention of the yell captains (leaders). apologies.

by Brad on Jul 19, 2006 11:20 AM EDT reply actions

Every year, I hope that NCAA 20XX gets it right, and every year they fail me on Purdue’s main fight song: Hail Purdue. Of course, it probably doesn’t help that it’s not the typical straightforward fight song arrangement, and that Purdue has three fight songs.

It’s mitigated by the colorful renditions of other Big 11 fight songs in my head. Such as “On Wisconsin, on Wisconsin, fucking school of fruits…”

by Senor Pez on Jul 19, 2006 3:00 PM EDT reply actions