We’d like to open this with a statement for the Silica Gel-eating crowd: we know Eddie Robinson was a great, great coach, and that it’s rumored he’s got Alzheimer’s and is not doing well. Honors, plaudits, and kudos to him and all that he’s done.

That said, like many a great coach, he made some terrible, terrible ads in the name of augmenting his income. Courtesy of reader JR, we present just one of his 15 or so shills for Oldsmobile.

Notes:

–The commercial reminds you that, once upon a time in America, a guy could appear on the television and take up to ten seconds to get to the main topic of conversation. Robinson talks about education, football, his wife Doris, the weather, his hat size, how Rodney his buddy caught a fish the other day…the ad takes forever to get to the point, which is that Eddie Robinson really, really likes his Oldsmobile.

–Eddie’s kind of a half-assed feminist in this commercial. He lets His Wife Doris drive, which is pretty cool of him, especially with a steely blue land whale of a machine like that at your fingertips. Then again, he does say this line.

It really smooths out these roads, because it’s big and solid, but easy for my wife to handle.

Actually, on further review, we’re not sure Eddie’s just talking about the car anymore at that point.

–It looks like it’s 8 zillion degrees in the commercial, but Eddie passes the old-school man test by wearing a full suit without obvious distress in the heat. Respek.

–Eddie appears to be climbing out of the car and into Amelia Earhart’s plane at the end of the commercial.

Rating: A-. Good on the fundamentals and sticking to his gameplan, Robinson manages to get his wife to drive him around, convince you to buy a living room on wheels, and impart warm fuzzies about education and opportunity all in the course of a single commercial. Fine work by a classic coach.

Sure, the media may be concerned about whether coaches circumvent NCAA rules by texting recruits. But why aren’t they worrying about the grammar and syntax the coaches use when contacting recruits? Why have coaches declared A WAR ON GRAMMAR?!?!?

Matt asks the important questions at Orange44.

Ground zero in the war on spelling. Don’t let them get away with it!

The past week or so’s been a great lesson in why the overactive immune system that is the message board community is both a blessing and a curse to the mundo del futbol de universidad.

Without gettting too wonky or nut-deep in information theory and other things that will never, never get you laid, there’s an ongoing debate about exactly what the role of the expanding, raucous internet medium surrounding conventional news media and wire services is. Some think it’s a replacement, a leaner, meaner, more economical spout for information to flow through, both critiqueing and supplanting conventional media. These are the Glenn Reynlolds types of the worlds, the Instapundits who believe that in the future, the news will be whatever people post on the web followed by a single word: “heh,” or “indeed,” or maybe “RTWT.”

Then there’s everyone else, the people who aren’t sure what it is but keep posting content and assuming that there’s some kind of role for websites, and that it lies somewhere between posting pictures of fart jokes and fact-checking conventional media. Or perhaps it involves both. Speaking of…

Take that, Les Miles. You’ve been nailed by the new media!

Whew, that felt good. For everyone, Les included.

Back to the other thing the interweb can do: exchanging information of both the accurate and inaccurate variety. The past weeks been illustrative of the strengths and weaknesses of the online vetting and confrimation of stories. First there’s the Avery Atkins story. Message boards were all over this story for weeks, bubbling with a persistent but surprisingly measured message that yes, Atkins was in trouble, but that things were still up in the air. We reached the fridge and actually pulled out our last moldy piece of respectability by calling the sheriff and seeing if Atkins had any warrants sworn out for him; he didn’t, and that was all there was to be said.

In this case, message boards were spot-on, insisting in many cases that he was gone due to family problems three or four days before the major media got a hold of it. In other cases, though, message board communities can run 180 degrees in the wrong direction with a story with amazing consistency with existing fan beliefs. This tendency warps even further when the story has to do with a rival school.

For instance (clearing throat, assuming creepy movie guy voice here) :

Did you know that a NCAA official visited Auburn recently? Hmm…whaddya think THAT means, huh? COULD BE A VERY INTERESTING SUMMER IN ALABAMA ha ha ha ha…

Bama boards went–and are going–nuts with insinuation, innuendo, scuttlebutt and calumny about Auburn. This is nothing new, since football slander is in fact the third largest export of the state of Alabama (#2, Automotives, #1 Alabama Freshman OL Andre “The 8th Continent” Smith, who will be 7 feet tall and 420 rock-solid pounds by the time he graduates.) Never mind that the NCAA official in question is Rich McGlynn, an Auburn grad who was brought on to work in the compliance department.

A dream job for an Auburn grad with intimate knowledge of the NCAA’s byzantine regulations governing football? Nope–a Bobby Lowder conspiracy to co-opt the NCAA’s men by buying them off, that’s what that is. Keep in mind that we’re not saying we don’t think there are Auburn boosters holding black masses and selling cases of AK-47s to janjaweed in Darfur to fund illicit activities–we would totally believe that about the strange, successful, and always shifty bunch of people who call themselves football boosters–but in this case blame Human Resources for selecting the perfect candidate for his dream job, not the Don of Opelika’s endless, sinister machinations.

Boi From Troy’s marketing his own “NOT AT ALL REFERENCING ACTUAL USC PLAYERS” t-shirts for the season. We like the “‘licious” one, ourselves:

In no way affiliated with USC. But guaranteed to come in smalls to show of your, um, abs. Or ab.

Is there a better way to kill the off-season than talking about ourselves? I think not. That is why this EDSBS edition of the blog poll roundtable for discussion is designed to either refresh everyone’s recollection about our fellow participants or give us a greater insight into the deep dark psyche of each of us.

1. Education. List the region of the country you were born in, what universities you attended and at least one other you would have attended if your alma mater didn’t exist.

Orson’s Example: Born in Nashville, Tennessee. Graduated from University of Florida with a BA in something useless. Also picked up a M.S. from Georgia Tech, but still can’t do math. If we had to attend another uni, we would have chosen the University of Washington, because it is beaaaauuuyoouuutiful.

2. Sports Affiliations. List your top 10 favorite teams in all of sports in decending order. For instance, your alma mater’s football team may be number 1, but perhaps there is a professional team that squeezes in before you get to your alma mater’s lacrosse team.

10? We’re not that diverse, sportswise. Five we can do:

e. Umm…did we mention the Florida Gators? Again, we’re rather focused.

3. Movies. List the movie you’ve watched the most, your favorite sports related movie, the movie you secretly love but don’t like to admit it (possibly a chick flick or b film), and the movie you were (or still are) most looking forward to from this summer’s season.

Most watched: Caddyshack, probably. It’s a generational thing.

Shame flick: The 13th Warrior. Vikings fighting Cromagnons and accepting fate like men.

4. Music. List your favorite band from middle school, high school, college and today. Also, as with the movies, include the song you secretly love but don’t like to admit. If Nickleback is involved in any of these responses, please give a detailed explanation as to why, god, why.

Middle school: the Beatles.

Shamelove song: “Since You’ve Been Gone,” Kelly Clarkson. Rocks ass despite jacking the bridge from “Maps” by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs.

5. Books. Favorite book you’ve finished, worst book you’ve finished and the book you really should read but haven’t gotten around to it.

Favorite: the Brothers Karamazov.

Book we should read but haven’t: A Son of the Circus, John Irving.

6. Travel. Favorite city you’ve every been to and the one place you still must visit before you shuffle off this mortal coil.

Fave city: Bangkok.

City we need to go to: Rio. Have you seen the video for “Beautiful” by Snoop Dogg? You’re going, too.

7. What do you love most about college football in 20 words or less?

Love, beauty, violence, and singularity.