OUT TO THE CUP

Dr. Octagon references earn you major cool points with me. That photo made me think of another skit from that album, since it looks like those unis are afflicted with both chimpanzee acne and moose bumps.

The retina-murdering colors, the silly-looking font for the numbers, the shoulder and knee pads that appear to have been inspired by semi-truck running boards . . . how is it that they started off with ugly uniforms yet manage to tweak them uglier with each passing year? Did they hire the former Pontiac employee who designed the Aztek?

the numbers are horrid as well, look like the design from the games on the original nintendo, why don’t they just have pacman as their mascot, and what’s with the fishnet stocking shoulder design?

I don’t know what to say. How do the people at oregon stand for this? ND implement gold flanks on their away jerseys and got murdered in the PR dept. for it. Seriously, I feel really bad for teams like UF, VT, and oregon that have such bad publicity stemming from a retail conglomerate that cares only abotu the bottom line using them as guinea pigs in something akin to the Cat Fashion Show form Anchorman.

These really helped Oregon recruit VHT playmaker Jonathan E.

Rumors that the Nike Corporate Hymn will be played before home games remain unconfirmed.

I think that picture deserves a NSFW tag.

you put all of those uniform numbers together, and it looks like my all time high score for Missle Command.

I would quit the team. I do find it funny that the helmets don’t match/coordinate.

My goodness, offensive linemen are going to look stunning in those gettups – I imagine that they are currently sobbing softly into their respective pillows “it makes me look so fat!”

PSUgirl, Belotti chose the font to make the lineman look slimmer. Nike even copyrighted it as “Belotti Bold” and the players helped design the various ensembles. You can’t make this stuff up.

Wait, wait, wait.

You’re voluntarily watching soccer? What’s the matter, chronic insomnia, or did you simply have your nuts removed?

How do they create such uniforms, do they give a special ed kid three neon crayons and let him have at it?

Now they are going to use different helmets green, white, and yellow, that’s just ridiculous. What recruit wants to wear a green uniform with a yellow helmet? Apparently being color blind is a requisite for an Oregon recruit.

Keep the green helmet, the whites, and I guess the black ones. If these are the new ones for Oregon what crazy crap do other nike teams get this year, i.e. the Fla. unis with the orange shoulder.

The Gator uniforms are remaining unchanged, but the fans are getting complementary pairs of Nike’s new Dry-Fit jorts.

That color of yellow reminds me of cupcake iceing.

Being able to read minds(only on Thursdays) I’m getting the same message from each of these young men….

“I can’t believe we’re wearing this shit”….. “I can’t believe we’re wearing this shit”…..

Mama always told me not to look at the Oregon Ducks.
But, mama, that’s where the fun is.

You people have this all wrong.
What you want to do is poke a hole in a piece of construction paper and admimre the Ducks’ sartorial splendor that way.

See, not so bad now, right? Right?

or ‘admire’ – your choice.

Makes one long for the bygone era of the merely awful pickle unis.

Good Lord, they just need to stop tinkering with those uniforms. The Oregon (almost typed “Orgeron”) PTB have clearly proved that they are unable to proceed with these things without hurting themselves and the innocent players who have to wear these things.

(Of course, the contrarian in me is muttering something about “deserves it” and “Pac-10,” but that’s neither here nor there.)

/also watching USA-Ghana match
//currently laughing at New York Knicks fans everywhere

I know how to fix soccer, and hockey too.

1. No Ties (watching a three hour game that ends in a tie is something only a frenchman could come up with)

2. Make the soccer goal the same size as a hockey goal.

3. No offsides

4. NO GOALIES. Tell me Americans wouldn’t watch these sports if the final score was 35-31.

I wonder why Oregon never gets a break when it comes to the BCS? Oh wait, its because Nike dresses them up like fucking retards. Maybe next year Phil Knight will make the uniforms more authentic and shove a bunch of feathers in the players asses.

I’m glad I stopped wearing Nike garbage when I was done with high school. Nike, like ESPN might need to have their headquarters firebombed.

Now if we could get those guys to do the “moves” from the Japanese assertiveness video…

And, shockingly, it’s not as bad as it could’ve been. The players wanted to give the sleeves that Florida, VT and Miami broke out, but Nike decided against it. (!!)

http://static.flickr.com/67/171401924_5be3580e82_o.jpg

Parker,

Freakin’ hilarious. I was thinking Combat, but Missile Command is dead on.

EDSBS,
Now that the U.S. is out of the World Cup get your ass back to blogging damit!!! I’m expecting some all time classic posts to come out of this lay off period.

Oh yeah, you that Dr. Octagon ass muthaphucka…take two of these and call me in the mornin…i’m dr. dooom…

Wow, just when I thought Oregon jersey’s couldn’t get any worse, just hideous.

FUCK Ghana, but most of all, fuck the US national team. Score a goal, dammit!

These things are already accomplishing their appointed task… dozens of working adults who couldn’t give a rat’s ass about the Oregon Ducks or Nike just spent their entire morning reading and talking about them…

Do the right thing and start boycotting Nike NOW!

Damn damn damn, why US why? oh well time to root for my other passport, go English

The most disturbing part of these uniforms quoted from the AP release.

“Nike designers worked with a committee of current and former players for the past two years to design the uniforms.”

Two Disturbing facts: A. Players were involved & B. This took 2 years?

Any “sport” where you can watch the gamecast or similar web “scoreboard” and have nearly the same level of excitement as watching the game live is not a sport.

Seriously, I think I got more excitement by continuously hitting the refresh button thinking I may have missed the last update.

I see that the (D) on the keyboard is awfully close to the (F). With one missed keystroke by some bored little Taiwanese guy the Ducks could easily become the Fucks.

we should have known that we were Ghana get our asses kicked.

pardon the pun, but the U.S. soccer team is a joke, most notably their quack of a coach.

The funny thing is, if you go onto Oregon message boards, alot of their posters seem to think they aren’t that bad, which just blows my mind. I mean really, are you brainwashed that badly to think that ANYTHING your team does/wears is good? Glad to see my tip was able to help you kill some time during the soccer game.

Just pass the Kook-Ade around to the table to them Mark.

The only real question now is if Orson and Stranko are out drinking to ease the pain of the US loss (not likely), or are they out drinking in celebration of one less distraction from the only sport(college football) that really matters, ie the end of US involvement in the world cup (very likely).

You know, it’s brilliant if you take the time to think about it. After all, how can you cover a WR if you can’t look directly at him? The ruling taking away colored and tinted visors suddenly seems awfully suspect.

OTOH, for Oregon QBs, staring down their receivers now not only tips off the DBs but also risks permanent retinal damage.

The Nike design department rationale:

“Well, we made the ducks neon green and yellow because we had never seen neon green and yellow ducks and to we wanted to see what neon green and yellow ducks would look like.”

What do you think about that Mike Bellotti?

“That’s Quack-tastic!”

irishoutsider:

you win for the James Caan Rollerball reference. first thing i thought of upon beholding Bellotti Bold.

Best thing about the US loss to Ghana: now ESPN will have to wait another four years before it sets about destroying soccer by turning it into the NFL.

Kinnick,
Any word on how many credits the “student” designers got for TWO years of work on those abortions? Could have kept a lot of players eligible!

Mass, I would bet it was around 3 credit hours a semester and that the credits were applied to their progress towards their “Marketing” degrees.

I’m just glad to see that the Big Ten officiating crew has some summer employment.

Per Goducks.com:

But of greater importance is the advanced design and technology of the uniforms will help to diminish the weight of the uniforms by 28 percent when dry and help make them 34 percent lighter under wet condiditions. The jerseys and pants also encompass a diamond-patterned grid on the shoulders and knees, respectively, to improve the durability of the product in areas susceptible to greater wear

The new-look attire also will include “Oregon” inscripted down the left leg of all four pants while “Ducks” will appear on the front of the jerseys above the numbers to help further enhance the identity and exposure for the university.

susceptible to greater wear? they get new uniforms at least 4 times a game (it would seem). further enhance the identity and exposure for the university? oh, I see, so you don’t confuse them with all the yellow and green high school teams out there.

Call me crazy, but I like the white helmet.

I think Oregon may be contemplting matching helmets for their uniforms.

Yes, that’s right. Yellow helmets.

Actually, we like the white helmet, too. Reminds us of a toothpaste logo of some sort—all fresh and minty ’n stuff.

Let’s not leave out the different colored shoes with each uniform.

I wonder how oregon state fans/players/alum/Ath. dept feel. Much like the bastardized homeless stepchildren?

Honestly coming from Big 10 country I’m not a big fan of modern uniforms, but I guess its ok for a school like oregon without alot of history to sport a new look… But know when to stop it somewhere! This has gone beyond modern and exciting to ugly and disgraceful! I didn’t think oregon’s uniforms could get any worse!

It is unfortunate that the US was coached by the Ron Zook of the soccer world…They had a whole lot of talent but the management and coaching was awful since game one.

I’ve watched every UF coach since Ray Graves and Ron Zook ranked up there with the best. He may not have had Spurrier’s win %. I think his teams and game strategies are much better balanced than Spurrier’s. UF kept Pell for five years after a winless season. Roon Zook deserves better, I’m just glad he’s an Illini now.

When NCAA 2007 comes out, Oregon’s getting a revenge game.

Oh Steve, it can ALWAYS get worse…

They could add that effeminant horizontal back stripe from the Miami uniforms and the uni-shoulders from the UF and VT uniforms.

Old geezers.

Oregon might be the team to be on NCAA 07 if they have those unis. Call it ugly-uniform-hypnosis, wear sunglasses, and demolish your opponet in a baby-vomit colored blur.

You just know Nike execs are kicking back in the design room going “you know, we’ve got Oregon by the balls—what craptacular design can we inflict on them this year?”

And in the pic Jonathan Tu posted—is that guy in white wearing #70, or is the glare just affecting my ability to read Atari numbers? He’s all of 5-9 and 165 lbs—why would he have a line number?

psuedosilent observer (and anyone else wondering),

as a duck alum – and fan – my reaction was…“well, they could’ve been worse…”

Really, it’s akin to stockholm syndrome. We’re hostages to Nike.

For example, a prototype of the helmets had been floating around for the original helmet design was ghastly…

http://www.blowsion.com/visuals/ducks/helmet1.jpg

UO isn’t Michigan. Or ND. Or USC. Or PSU. So there’s no real tradition we’re messing with. You find parts you like – the “O” is a pretty cool logo.

As a fan, I sit back, relax, and enjoy the flourescent hum of the uniforms every Saturday.

They love their reefer in Oregon, don’t they?

I don’t know about reefer, but they sure like being gay.

I have some bad news for the anti-soccer crowd. I know you may find it hard to believe, but they are still going to finish the world cup without the USA. And lots of people are still going to be interested in it.

I for one say ‘job well done’ to Ghana.

Given the way both teams played through the first three games, they have a better chance to beat Brazil.

Go Ghana. I hope they beat the USC of the soccer world.

Phil, how is that bad news for the anti-soccer crowd? They don’t care. Unlike the futbolista “if you don’t like it you just don’t understand, you neanderthals” group, the anti-soccer crowd isn’t trying to go to Brazil and convert them to anti-soccerism. The World Cup will go on, but relegated to the minimum of coverage (except Univision), as it should be. 5 minutes of highlights on SportsCenter is appropriate; even the most rabidly anti-soccer can deal with that.

Okay I love the idea of 4 uniforms and 3 helmets. I am a lifelong duck fan and these uiforms ARE embarrassing!

If they would have used normal numbers and left off the gooofy “steel plate” shoulders and knees, these might not be too bad. Sometimes having Nike as your banker is a bat thing.

after double checking my post i got an idea. Instead of donald maybe the should have goofy as their new mascot!

I keep going back to that photo like a moth to a floodlight.

The Barcelona Dragons’ marketing department thinks the Ducks’ unis are “a little flashy.”

Go Ghana. I hope they beat the USC of the soccer world.

Hey! Well, I suppose there’s no defense and a lot of offense in both cases. But I don’t think that Ghana is Texas, to extend the metaphor, which is too bad.

What do you think about that Mike Bellotti?

“Well, I like the new facilities and they say the new law school is nice… but I think I need to grow my mustache back…”

Oh yes, they are the coolest uni’s in the history of college football. The best part?? the science behind them. New tech. that for now Nike makes sure only oregon has. The colors, font’s and such were designed by the players, which is why I find it hilarious when people say “how could the players want to play in those” lol.. GO DUCKS!!!

USC = Same classy uniforms
ND = Same classy uniforms
Michigan = Same classy uniforms
PSU = Same Classy Uniforms
Oregon = Looking for something that works.

Seriously, Oregon may have a chance with these unis since the other teams will be busting out laughing before every snap. Easily among the worst looking uniforms of all time. And about that “zero” on the helmet…….

Damn I miss the WFL! (Google it if born after 1968)