TREE WILL KILL YOU DEAD.

by Orson on Jun 20, 2006 5:43 PM EDT

Since we're signing out for the day and heading over to Dodgy At Best to pontificate on another sport we love and know shockingly little about, we leave you on this sultry Tuesday with a short but powerful video from 1995 about why the Pac-10 is ten times more vicious than we wannabe hooligans in the SEC will ever know.

Note a few things, though:

--Solid mat work by Tree here, who clearly has some judo or Brazilian jiujitsu background. Call UFC immediately.

--Oski, despite some solid strikes, clearly could have used a standing start to the match. More of a boxer and less of a grappler, though what the hell can you grab on tree besides a couple of hula hoops and a googly eye?

--We think Oski remains the clear winner here despite suffering a countering head slam into the court. Note that Tree fights dirty but effectively by decapping Oski and slamming not the mascot head, but the actual head of the mascot onto the hardcourt.

--A mascot led off by security is almost as funny as a mascot being assaulted. Seeing the two in a single video is a package deal for the senses.

--We would also like to add that despite seeing him a decade-old video of him fighting in public, Oski's reputation is solid in our book. You might even say stellar.

When trees and bears fight. Almost as funny as people busting ass on slides.

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I swear to God that the Tree may be one of my favorite things in all of sports.

by DevilGrad on Jun 20, 2006 6:35 PM EDT reply actions

Orson, were you the guy in the cutoffs slipping off that shitty little dock in video dos?

I hate that stupid ass tree

by Adam on Jun 20, 2006 7:25 PM EDT reply actions

God I love that video. Seeing the full charge and tackle is even better.

by Calfan on Jun 20, 2006 7:57 PM EDT reply actions

During this year’s Bay To Breakers race, I personally witnessed a drunken Cal fan, dressed himsle fin a full body suit Easter Bunny and Russian fur hat, run full speed and tackle the shit out the The Tree, despite he Tree having no less than 5 studetn bodyguards (he was in enemy territiory). After a scuffle, the Russian Easter Bunny was immediately hailed as a hero by the other druken Cal revelers, who chanted to the Tree and his entourage “Who’s got The Axe?”.

All of this happened about 20 feet in fron tof my face – it was surreal and it was awesome.

Oh, and A10 has the whole thing on video but it is tricky convincing him to upload it onto YouTube because another friend is involved whose GF did not approve if said gentlemen’s involvement in the incident. But I shall continue to try to get it to the point of sharing.

by Kanu on Jun 20, 2006 8:03 PM EDT reply actions

Orson you silly man, you assume most SEC fans CARE about basketball.

everyone in the south knows that basketball is a mere competitive sport, nowhere near a full-fledged religion like football. do the mascots even show up for a SEC basketball game? ;)

by Bill on Jun 20, 2006 8:15 PM EDT reply actions

honestly, fomr this video it looks like Oski got his ass kicked. and it looks like he got handcuffed too. See this is why you need either a) a live bear mascot or b) something like the ND leprechaun, no body suit needed.

by wooderson on Jun 20, 2006 9:14 PM EDT reply actions

There are other videos where Oski beats the crap out of the Stanford Tree which are great. I sadly come from a family in which everyone thinks Stanford walks on water and I am the lone Cal fan. I would not bother pissing on the tree if it was in dire need of water.

by Chop that tree down on Jun 21, 2006 12:07 AM EDT reply actions

The girl that was the Tree this year got busted for drinking during a Cal BBall game.

by Ecali on Jun 21, 2006 1:12 AM EDT reply actions

The Tree got busted twice in the same academic year; once each for two different students wearing the uniform.

The classless Stanford Tree and Band are made for one another.

by Geaux Irish on Jun 21, 2006 9:07 AM EDT reply actions

Still pissed about the potato famine halftime show, eh?

by DevilGrad on Jun 21, 2006 10:35 AM EDT reply actions

I always enjoy seeing the tree getting chopped down. Stanford’s “we’re too smart to care” attitude isn’t fooling anyone; besides, getting your start as a satellite campus of Cornell doesn’t make you Ivy League west…

However, the look of utter confusion on the small child’s face as Papa Jorts took an unplanned header down the water slide transcends all for today; it’s even taking the sting out of the Angola game…

by DC Trojan on Jun 21, 2006 11:44 AM EDT reply actions

Still working on releasing the video that Kanu is referring to. I was wearing my Cal hat amused at what they called a security team as the aforementioned Easter Bunny went into what can only be described as a blind fit of rage. My friends the Easter Bunny does exist and he hates Xmas. Being a Cal fan he saw Blue(We don’t see red)and decided to take out the tree. My buddy actually yanked the tree down by the top. The security team tried to run him off but they turned their backs again and down went the tree. The chant goes “give em the axe the axe the axe” well the Easter Bunny gave him the spear… to the midsection. True defense of what is now an appropriate Tedford string of victories against the Furd. For those of you interested check this link out. It’s the birth of the axe and the rivalry itself.

http://www.stanford.edu/group/axecomm/history/calaxe.html

A10

by A10 on Jun 21, 2006 11:54 AM EDT reply actions