EVERYBODY'S TOP 25

Genius, guys. Pure genius.

So true…It’s Like You’re Inside My Dome sometimes!

Essential tools for the pseudo-pundit: College Football Data Warehouse and Google…

Oh and a cocksure (great word) attitude.

Strong Work Orson.

You think we’re kidding, but this is totally how we’re putting together our top 25.

Excellent work guys! Kinda like the Rachel Ray method for the top 25!

Note to Sean Astin:

If you are ever in charge of CTU-Los Angeles and your crack-head sister wants to meet and talk you, do not meet her next to a dumpster in some obscure parking lot…her boyfriend will just thump your skull and take your key card.

White Water Summer. Jesus. EDSBS always finds a way to surprise me.

This is also the perfect method for making a pre-season top 25.

Strong indeed.

Notre Dame at 6?! I want what your smoking.

IG

Odell, the scene where they brain Kevin Bacon with a rock always cracked us the hell up.

WHOOO! We’re number six!

“Instant content” – if it can work for Ramen Noodles, it can work for punditry. Good stuff.

For my money, Sean Astin doesn’t get any better than when he played the slightly retarded brother on one of those semi-serious, quasi-funny Adam Sandler flicks.

THE CATHOLIC UNIVERSTY OF THE WORLD AT #6.
Is this some kind of joke? They had an oustanding year last year. Almost beat USC after losing to a marginal MSU team.
Made it to a BSC game where they took a Ving Rhames like ass pounding.(see Pulp Fiction) The defense almost(never) made stops when they needed to. I have to say what’s on my mind here. N.D. is about as far back as my beloved Tide. If either of them can win ten games this year then I’ll sing their praises but until then we are all just hoping for a return of the glory days.
Roll Tide Roll!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Good stuff…I would add a corollary to #1, if the champ last year lost their QB, the #1 team should have most of their offense back (including QB of course) after a good bowl performance. Because the pundits love them some offense. Offense is bright and shiny. Defense is like soccer….
Thus, OSU is the clear choice for #1. I mean, did you see they put up 600 yards against ND?? What was that? Who’s AJ Hawk? Gotta go, someone’s jangling keys!!

1. Ohio State
2. Southern Cal
3. West Virginia
4. Oklahoma
5. Texas
6. Notre Dame
7. Florida
8. Georgia
9. Miami
10. Florida State

Michigan comes in at 11 because you have to get all 3 florida teams in there.

this punditry stuff is easy. you can overrate almost any team and then get away with the mid-season “disappointment columns.”

A thousand thanks for exposing the non-thought that goes into 95% of all preseason writing and rankings. I humbly suggest three additional features that should be banned from the format forever:

1. The phrase, “What a difference a year makes.”
2. Song lyrics — as intro, segue, or in any other manner.
3. Invoking prominent non-football playing alumni. E.g., “Stanford’s going to need to power-drive like alum Tiger Woods if it hopes to rise in the Pac-10 standings.”

Special Cases for Pundits:

PAC-10 Pundit: At least 3 PAC-10 teams in top 10. SEC team with most diverse offense makes top 10.

SEC Pundit- Any PAC-10 team included in top ten should contain a disclaimer that defense is not played in the PAC-10. No fewer than 4 SEC teams in the top 10. No fewer than 10 SEC teams in the top 25. Remaining two teams should also be receiving votes.

Rivals- Any rival of pundit’s team is automatically excluded from top 10. Include explanation of why rival is soooooo overrated by everyone else.

Whitewater Summer: the movie that lead to me unsucessfully trying to catch a fish with my bare hands for the next 10 years. Damn you Kevin Bacon!

What, you haven’t done that yet? Next thing you’ll tell us is that you can’t bowfish.

Thank you Dawg. Diversity of Scheme is never given enough Attention in the SEC!

Screw what works…Lets get Diverse!

I am with you…….look what the spread did for UF.
Diversity gave them about the same record as the offensive genius Zook got them. Let’s stop using tried and true plays and start every play with a fake draw. That will teach them.

Ah, now…[NAME REDACTED] never breached the nine-win barrier. Nor did he win a bowl game.

He did beat Auburn, though.

irishoutsider, I like OSU at #1 too…but their scheme is not diverse enough. Sorry.

Yes, we can’t see the spread working in a league with the speed of the Big Ten…

OSU won a BCS game and are returning a QB, my hands are tied.

Erik, Troy Smith doesn’t always run. Sometimes, he throws too! That’s what they call a “dual-threat” QB like a Donovan McNabb, a Vince Young, or an Eric Crouch.

As for scheme diversity, your 11-25 has to include Nevada, Colorado, and Emory

Excellent work guys! Kinda like the Rachel Ray method for the top 25!

Mmmmmmm . . . Rachel Ray.

Now, where were we? Oh yes. Top 25 methodology. Brilliant as usual, gentlemen.

8 wins 9 wins what the difference…..enought to contend not enough to win THE CONFERENCE. You get the point either way. Zook did recruit the best players but used them in a boring system. The legend uses a great city league system but will not win ten or even 9 games with that schedule. Will you guys fire him if that happens?

We could. He’s a coach. Enter Michael Corleone:

If anything in this life is certain, if history has taught us anything, it is that you can kill anyone.

No reason Meyer can’t fail at UF. No reason Shula can’t get run out on a rail in Bama, either, especially with another few losses to Auburn.

As for never winning ten or nine games—we don’t know that yet (at least in conference.) We suspect he can, but reality could cut our throats on that sharp edge of hope.

“Tough…but not impossible.”

Charlie, thanks for correlating two of the worst visuals ever in my mind (Pulp fiction & Fiesta Bowl 2006)

Never looked Ving the same after that one…not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Uh, BGfP, I think there actually is something wrong with keeping a gimp locked up in your basement and freeing him only to anally assault local gangsters…

Ah, now…[NAME REDACTED] never breached the nine-win barrier. Nor did he win a bowl game.

He did beat Auburn, though.

Funny, [NAME REDACTED]had a better record against Auburn than Spurrier. Spurrier’s record against Auburn when UF was ranked #1 was 1-2.

Orson,

Yes the best scene is when Bacon gets brained with the rocks and/or paddle. That scene has always made me afraid of paddles and the guy from “North Shore” who swung it.

Thank you, always happy to remind you of the bad things in life. The IRS,std’s, the off season, and even the world cup.
All things we could do without.
Not to mention pre-season polls. Which is what this is supposed to be about.
Man rule: No football poll means anything until the third week of the season.

Predicting the top teams in CFB more than two months before the start of the season is like predicting who will win the World Series in February, except that you are attempting it from a remote village in North Korea during a power outage.

Oh, and your post pailfully reminded me of how horribly, horribly wrong the mainstream sports media can be when prognosticaing on college football.

Uh, BGfP, I think there actually is something wrong with keeping a gimp locked up in your basement and freeing him only to anally assault local gangsters…

The gimp didn’t do that, it was either Zed or Maynard (I think Zed). The gimp just kinda stood there, until Bruce Willis knocks the crap out of him.

But yes, Bullfrog, there is something very, very wrong about that whole ordeal.

“That is how it goes down in ”http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/?p=1991">L.A. "

Phil would not eat corndogs. Corndogs, are closely associated to LSU fans. C’mon guys, you know better than that.

Some of your best stuff ever. And this year, it’s probably going to be as accurate as any of the other preseason polls.

Orson you have my thanks. I was going to get myself into the blogpoll ballots this year, but knew that I hadn’t really watched enough games outside of our region to really have a good educated decision on the subject.

I’ve now been reminded that such things to slow down the men and women paid to be wrong most of the time.

…and the guy from “North Shore” who swung it.

I need to know: Was it the F.O.B, J.O.J, wave-pool schooled Rick Kane or the “Shit Damnit!!” (greatest frustation induced profanity ever!) – spewing, bad boy (OMG!) hottie Lance Burkhart?

Wow. Someone else who’s seen “The North Shore.” Odell, you’ve made my week already.

“When are you going to stop calling me ‘Barney?’”
“When you’re not a Barney anymore, Barney.”

You know, only this site could have a post on preseason top 25 polls generate a discussion on who actually anally assaulted Ving Rhames.
I think that’s why I love edsbs so much. But, you know, not love in that way…

I was hoping someone else had seen that movie.

I want to name my kid Turtle after that guy.

Ah, to be a real college football pundit. I guess I can always dream.

Let’s not forget predicting conference finishes.

Take the conference standings from the year prior, check how every team finished their season (whether they won their bowl game or not) and develop the conference prediction accordingly.

Because we know teams never rebuild and those that are at the bottom will always be there. In the eyes of the preseason experts, college football is a never changing sport. The teams that were good 10 years ago are still good today and the teams that were bad 10 years ago are still bad today.

If keeping a gimp locked up in your basement and freeing him only to anally assault local gangsters is wrong, I don’t wanna be right.

It’s been a while since I’ve had the time to get in on one of these, but this is genious.

I’d like to point out that for everyone in the top 10 if they can (a)put it all together (b)find stability at [offensive skill position] ©find chemistry and leadership on their lines, this could be their year. On the other hand, if they are ranked 11 – 25, then (a) if [add new coach’s name here] can get his players to buy into his new scheme (b) can take the next step © can avoid key injuries, a BCS bid is not out of the question". It’s like a Madlib.

Michigan is poised for a title run this year with [returning WR] and [returning WR] heading up a high powered offense with [touted QB] at the helm. Helping form a balanced attack will be [soon to be impotent returning RB] This will give the defense, returning [# between 6 and 10] starters, plenty of time to control the pace of the game.

The Wolverines face some tough matchups, [home or away] against Ohio State and Notre Dame in [South Bend or Ann Arbor], and their post-season dreams could [hinge, teter, lean] on these two pivotal [matchups, scrums, battle of traditional powers].

[Lloyd Carr or Head Coach] has the horses this year, can they finally get it together?

Thank you, Gamecock Tony.

You are welcome, oh Great Guru of all things collegiate pigskin.

Honestly, it’s what Mrs. Gamecock and I like to call “Tuesday Night”.

Gamecock Tony,

Do you have a youtube video clip of that? People want to watch.

I hear ya Gamecock Tony.

I’ve found that gimps are like dogs…if you don’t pet them once in awhile, it’s hard to keep them under the porch…

…so i’ve been told…

Sadly Odell, despite Mrs. Gamecock’s penchant for perversions, she is incredibly difficult to capture on tape.
Sort of like Bigfoot… well, without the gigantic size, hair, ungodly stench and general ugliness.

orson, with all the gimp posts, shouldn’t the link to bowfishing be burt reynolds standing up in the boat in “deliverance”?

As a fan of Nevada I have to say that the ‘Pistol’ offense was just a trick to hide our short and stubby running backs from the D-Line, not much more than that. But score for the diversity Top 25 votes. In that case I would put them at 12 right behind Michigan.

The spread offense definitely doesn’t work against SEC teams.

Signed, Rich Rodriguez

wow…….you got a pirdy mouth…….
I’m not that sure that Athlon doesn’t let the gimp pick its PRSN TOP 25.

In addition to Dawg 05’s comments, I’d like to add a guideline regarding someone’s “own” team (this applies mainly to bloggers, not mainstream pundits):

If your team is in a BCS conference…
and won a BCS bowl within the last 2 years, rank team #1.
and won their conference within the last 3 years, rank in top 5.
and has had a 9-win season within the past 3 years, rank 6-10.
otherwise, rank 11-20.

If your team is not in a BCS conference…
and has been to a BCS bowl within the past 2 years, rank 8-10.
and has been ranked within the past 2 years, rank in top 11-20.
otherwise, rank 23-25.

Funny, [NAME REDACTED]had a better record against Auburn than Spurrier. Spurrier’s record against Auburn when UF was ranked #1 was 1-2.

Comment by AU03 — June 19, 2006 @ 1:43 pm

Here’s an even better indicator of the Plainsmen’s total pownage of Spurrier:

Spurrier’s record against Auburn when the Mighty Gators were outscored by AU was 0-3!!!!

His record in the other 10 games is slightly better.

The big question in [college town] this season is who is going to step up and take over the [position] job from departed All-[American/Conference] Senior [player’s name]. Unheralded 5th year senior [Joe Somebody] has the job now, but our bet is on Parade All-American and 5-Star Recruit [Johnny Everybody].

Apply to Bulldogs:

The big question in Athens this season is who is going to step up and take over the quarterback job from departed All-Conference Senior DJ Shockley. Unheralded 5th year senior Joe Terishinski has the job now, but our bet is on Parade All-American and 5-Star Recruit Mathew Stafford.

I should start my own pre-season magazine.

But the real question is which top 10 team has the most tremendous upside potential and the chance to be a REAL SPOILER!

Comic Book Guy just knows that Louisville is the bold top-10 pick from the Big East that’s not West Virginia.

Diverse offense, comfortable schedule, Phil Steele-like appreciation for lots of turnovers the year before – Arkansas in teh Top 25? Anyone? Anyone? Beuller?

BTW, whatever happened to Ferris’ girlfriend?

Spurrier’s record against Auburn when the Mighty Gators were outscored by AU was 0-3!!!!

Chg,

My point was that Spurrier didn’t have as good record against AU as [NAME REDACTED], and that 2 of the losses game when UF was #1. I think you broke the sarcasm meter, not unlike the Android up top.

No need to be an asshole.

See comment #4.