OUT MAGAZINE ASKS: GOT SOME IRISH IN YA? WANT SOME?

by Orson on Jun 8, 2006 11:06 AM EDT

Out Magazine features a piece written by Boi From Troy this month listing the top ten bois of sport considered most desirable for gay men--a piece we have to endorse since:

a. It's essentially witnessing for sports, which is always a good thing, and

b. More gay men in sports = more easy gags in blog posts.

The cover reads "BIG BOUNCY BALLS...AND THE MEN WHO LOVE THEM," and goes on to explain how "sports...became the new gay porn." We lived with a gay guy in college for a bit--really, it was for money, not love--and having come home bleary-eyed at three in the morning to find him sitting on the couch watching gay porn, we can honestly say we've never seen anything resembling the genital acrobatics of man-on-man action in spectator sports.

Umm...yes. Totally straight sport there.

(Gay porn resembles high school wrestling gone tragically wrong. One minute it just looks strange; then you're thinking, "no way"; then the unthinkable happens, and your thoughts as a straight guy run something like, "I bet that tickles" to "Aah, memories of Sunday School." We'll be over here crying in the corner if you need us.)

The news in all this, for those of you who actually made it this deep (heh, deep,) into a discussion of sports as gay porn? The four college football players cited by Boi at "Not on our team...but we'd sure like to be on theirs" are Notre Dame's Tom Zbikowski, Brady Quinnn, and Jeff Samardzxqklgkta, presented with the caption

Who wouldn't give it up for Notre Dame's dreamy threesome?

...along with the Crimson Tide's own NFL draftee Brodie Croyle, described as "a ringer for Ringo." That's right: you're the ugly Beatle, Brodie.

Not mentioned in the article is the Conscience of a Nation's pick, Chris Leak, who in addition to being a rock-solid gym rat of a man with green eyes that make the ladies swoon has also demonstrated his sensitive side by sliding to avoid hurting anyone on running plays.

Dreamy. Sensitive, too.

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http://img437.imageshack.us/img437/739/zibby0zu.jpg

I do have a bit of a mancrush on Zbikowski.

by Bill on Jun 8, 2006 11:16 AM EDT reply actions

Chris Leak is pretty and all, but he’s about as sexy as Peyton Manning (who I adore); however, Warrick Dunn is the hotne55.

by The Conscience of a Nation on Jun 8, 2006 11:29 AM EDT reply actions

And we thought you adored him! But given all we know about St. Warrick, we understand completely.

by Orson Swindle on Jun 8, 2006 11:37 AM EDT reply actions

Orson…thanks for noticing. However, I am just wondering, um, how you found out about this?!?

Also, you missed my Trojan pick… Brian Cushing, Pretty in Pink.

by boifromtroy on Jun 8, 2006 12:06 PM EDT reply actions

Eliminated due to bias, Boi. You might find the corpse of Don Knotts hot if it was wearing enough Trojan gear.

We were tipped to it by Notre Dame operatives.

by Orson Swindle on Jun 8, 2006 12:09 PM EDT reply actions

Don Knotts in a WV boy – surly he wouldn’t be caught dead in Trojan gear. No pun intended.

by CouchBurnin'Girl on Jun 8, 2006 12:11 PM EDT reply actions

Leak definitely looked like a rock solid gym rat when Demeco Ryans came into the backfield untouched and tossed him like a rag doll during last years annihilation in T-Town. Can’t wait for spread option part deux.

by dantheman on Jun 8, 2006 12:14 PM EDT reply actions

Is Chris Leak the person they were talking about with green eyes all through Big Trouble in Little China starring one Kurt Russell

by Mark Twain on Jun 8, 2006 12:19 PM EDT reply actions

He didn’t get injured, if that’s what you mean, Dan. This was probably due to his excellent conditioning, which allowed him to withstand a beating like, say, the one Brodie took at the hands of Stanley McClover and Auburn.

BTW, Croyle just got sacked by an Auburn fan outside of a Starbucks’ in Kansas City.

by Orson Swindle on Jun 8, 2006 12:22 PM EDT reply actions

may I submit – Mr. Posulszny

http://gallery.gopsusports.com/Photo_Gallery_Display.cfm?imageNum=44&startRow=31&gd=0&searchstring=&sp=9&dir=&game=&season=2005

by PSUgirl on Jun 8, 2006 12:39 PM EDT reply actions

Orson- thanks for the reminder. I’d forgotten that Brodie got sacked by Auburn. Seriously though, injuries aside I think Brodie and Chris aren’t all that different: both very talented, both underachieving considering their prep hype, both will get a shot in the NFL. Unless of course Urbanella decides to run the option with Chris this year – then he’ll be commentating with Gino Torretta.

by dantheman on Jun 8, 2006 12:54 PM EDT reply actions

AH…that’s why Cushing didn’t come to ND…didn’t want BQ, Zibby and Shark throwing shade on him.

by domer95 on Jun 8, 2006 1:09 PM EDT reply actions

“In the second quarter, I saw Torretta look over at me, and he froze for a second. I saw fear.”-Alabama defensive end John Copeland

by JR on Jun 8, 2006 1:11 PM EDT reply actions

i don’t know about jeff samardjara;klsjde. that nose goes on forever. i’m definitely all about some brodie, brady, and chris. i’m not sure what Zbikowski looks like.

also, if i were looking for someone to be my protector in the great outdoors, i would look no farther than degory.

by adam on Jun 8, 2006 1:17 PM EDT reply actions

Too funny Orson. As a former high school wrestler, perhaps I should say “a little too close to home, Orson”. And my wife wonders why I weep uncontrollably in my sleep.

With respect to Chris Leak, maybe you should direct him to some video of Michael Robinson from last year, particularly the hit he laid on Minnesota’s strong safety that ended the kid’s career (had surgery in January, and apparantly his arm is still in a sling). Actually, I’m surprised Boi isn’t all over M-Rob – he was unquestionably a man’s man last season.

by DaveW on Jun 8, 2006 1:49 PM EDT reply actions

I’m not “touching” this with a ten foot “pole”.

by Odell 51 on Jun 8, 2006 2:03 PM EDT reply actions

Good thing A.J. Hawk wasn’t listed in the article…

by Merton Hanks on Jun 8, 2006 2:43 PM EDT reply actions

Degory is the Falconer.

by Orson Swindle on Jun 8, 2006 2:52 PM EDT reply actions

adam – you do know what they say about guys with big noses, right? And have you ever seen a picture of Samardzija’s hands? Those too can indicate certain other physical features.

Oh, be still my heart . . .

by Samardzijaphoria on Jun 8, 2006 3:55 PM EDT reply actions

i don’t know about that one, because i have HUGE hands and…

oh wait. i mean, i have TINY hands and

ahh fuck.

by adam on Jun 8, 2006 7:24 PM EDT reply actions

Befitting his screen name, Boi From Troy has a thing for what The Gays call “twinks,” i.e., prettyboys. Or prettybois, I guess. You know, the ones who look like Abercrombie & Fitch models? I like ’em beefier and not as pretty, like Bryant Royal.

http://w3t.org/u/r6d

Bill’s pic of Zibby, well now that’s right up my, um, alley. I wouldn’t go for “Mr. Posulszny,” but the blond next to him, right-most in the pic, we could find things to do. The following one gives me mixed feelings. He’s a coach and definitely gets me goin’ but if he were on my team the first thing I’d do is advise him to change his name.

http://w3t.org/u/r6e

Yo! Matt Workman!

http://w3t.org/u/r6j

And here’s to you, Mr. Robinson

http://w3t.org/u/r6k

Holy cow! Where do they find these guys?

http://w3t.org/u/r6l

And don’t get me started on the baseball team. I’ve always had a soft spot for catchers.

http://w3t.org/u/r6o

Sports are “the new gay porn?” Hey Troy? That’s like telling people that homosexuality was invented in San Francisco in 1967.

by wk on Jun 8, 2006 7:56 PM EDT reply actions