Jim Bob Cooter, the actual, real, totally-not-fucking-making-this-up backup qb at Tennessee, has been suspended for “a violation of team rules,” according to the University of Tennessee’s press release today. This may have something to do with the DUI arrest of Cooter over the weekend at 3:25 a.m. in Knoxville–what, suddenly DUI is against Tennessee football team rules? What’ll they eliminate next: assault?–where Cooter was charged with DUI, underage consumption, and open container violations. (HT: Clay.)

Cooter, beer, cops…all sounds like the bullet points on a PowerPoint presentation about “Priorities of Talladega Tailgaters: What To Do On Race Weekend.” We’re thinking a solid 2 points for a DUI charge in the Fulmer Cup standings, putting Tennessee closer to respectability in the standings given last year’s epic run.

By the way, you have to love the sardonic niblets of fun staff writers slip into articles like this:

Cooter, who gained increasing popularity among the fans for his prototypical southern name, was expected to play a reserve role this season and be a scout team quarterback.


Cooter: drunk, and in trouble.