COOTER GOES WILD!

by Orson on Jun 5, 2006 2:07 PM EDT

Jim Bob Cooter, the actual, real, totally-not-fucking-making-this-up backup qb at Tennessee, has been suspended for "a violation of team rules," according to the University of Tennessee's press release today. This may have something to do with the DUI arrest of Cooter over the weekend at 3:25 a.m. in Knoxville--what, suddenly DUI is against Tennessee football team rules? What'll they eliminate next: assault?--where Cooter was charged with DUI, underage consumption, and open container violations. (HT: Clay.)

Cooter, beer, cops...all sounds like the bullet points on a PowerPoint presentation about "Priorities of Talladega Tailgaters: What To Do On Race Weekend." We're thinking a solid 2 points for a DUI charge in the Fulmer Cup standings, putting Tennessee closer to respectability in the standings given last year's epic run.

By the way, you have to love the sardonic niblets of fun staff writers slip into articles like this:

Cooter, who gained increasing popularity among the fans for his prototypical southern name, was expected to play a reserve role this season and be a scout team quarterback.

Cooter: drunk, and in trouble.

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Comments

Did this come out of the “No Fucking Kidding” Files?
A guy named Jim Bob Cooter drinking?
Next thing you’ll tell me is that a guy named Hugh Johnson is in the porn industry.

by GamecockTony on Jun 5, 2006 2:11 PM EDT reply actions

Although Jim Bob does have a more backcountry flair, I still have to go with Major Applewhite being the best southern name out there.

by Adam on Jun 5, 2006 2:27 PM EDT reply actions

Still awaiting the photoshop of Phat Phil in the Boss Hogg suit.

by DevilGrad on Jun 5, 2006 2:36 PM EDT reply actions

If Jim Bob Cooter ever starts a game for Tennessee it will set the South back 20 years.

Sad, but true.

Next thing you know “Bubba Beavers” will be the starting fullback in Auburn.

by Erik on Jun 5, 2006 2:37 PM EDT reply actions

Just as it means more to the Packers to win the Lombardi Trophy, it means more to us Volunteers to get our hands on the Fulmer Cup.

by Sweaty Bruce Pearl on Jun 5, 2006 3:07 PM EDT reply actions

Do we get any extra point for the underage girl that was in the car with him?

by Phil on Jun 5, 2006 7:17 PM EDT reply actions

This must be related to the DukesFest that took place in Nashville this past weekend.

by JC on Jun 5, 2006 10:44 PM EDT reply actions

Do we get any extra point for the underage girl that was in the car with him?

Underage consumption is different from underage consumption by a minor. I dont know the age of the girl, but I would sure hope that the backup QB can get better ladies than those still in high school!

by Phil II on Jun 6, 2006 9:12 AM EDT reply actions

Best part, he is from Lynchberg TN, the home of the Jack Daniels Sour Mesh Wiskey distillery. As a Tennessee fan, and a country music fan, I can’t not wait for the Hank Williams, JR. follow up song. Football, DUI’s, Minors, arrest, and country boy names, I hear CMA nominations.

by Got any Jack Daniels? on Jun 30, 2006 10:30 AM EDT reply actions