See the full scoreboard, including a picture of Mr. Butterworth himself, here.

A few notes and clarifications:

–Alabama will likely be bumped down to two points pending the ongoing events in the Juwan Simpson case. Or be given eight points when it turns out to be some outlandish conspiracy involving Nazi gold, Mike Shula, bootleg Kazakh uranium, and the Shroud of Turin. We’re still not sure at this point.

–Indiana makes a strong debut with four points thanks to a wide receiver allegedly slapping his girlfriend and their baby. Should this turn out to just be your regular, run-of-the-mill baby-slapping incident without charges, the Hoosiers will do exactly what they do during the season: put up a donut in the scoring department.

–If we’re counting on anyone to make a late push for significant points, it’s Marshall. Herdistan hasn’t let us down before, and with Joe Tiller cracking down at Purdue it’s unlikely the Boilermakers will see anything more in the way of substantial points. Two or three more Playstation thefts and this thing could be theirs for the taking.

–Tennessee, who finally got on the board with a single point for Marvin Mitchell’s disorderly conduct arrest, still lags well behind in the standings. Also, we still haven’t seen a single point from FSU or Miami, phenomenal streaks for two very “spirited” teams. While the 7th Floor Crew just doesn’t seem to have the chemistry of past years, we still hold out hope for a substantial score from FSU–after all, Bonnaroo is just a few weeks away!