FRIDAY FACT-CHECKING: TERENCE MOORE
by Orson on May 12, 2006 11:27 AM EDT
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PrintBeing a columnist for a year wouldn't be so bad. You wake up, get your coffee on, and then amble over to the computer to type a few grafs of palatable banter often completely unsupported by fact or figure. Sounds a lot like being a blogger, actually, minus the constant risk of being fired and the remuneration for your thoughts thing. (Sadly, we've discovered that the road to owning our own silver hot tub filled with pudding does not lie in a business strategy based on BlogAds revenue. Shocking stuff, we know.)
Being a columnist for a lifetime sounds like a living hell, though. It starts with the small things; first you notice that all your conversations take exactly four paragraphs. Second, you begin taping a small, flattering picture of yourself to every piece of correspondence, including personal checks and UPS delivery notices. Finally, you find your self addressing the world like someone confined by the cold iron bars of the Sports Page sidebar. How does a columnist dump his wife?
Lately, it hasn't been that bad.
It hasn't been that good, either.
It's time for a trade.
Now.
Being a columnist will kill you. So will Russian dentistry. Ask Lewis.
The degeneration of Terence Moore as a columnist for the AJC has been one of the paper's more saddening yet fascinating spectacles over the past decade, and a prime example of what we're talking about. Imagine watching a clip of an eighty-year old riddled with cancer taunting a lion into attacking him on the savanna and ending his agony. That's what it's become to read Terence Moore.
Take last Tuesday's column about the Irish coming to Tech for their season opener, where Terence Moore blows some significant unbroken column space talking about what a potentially bad idea it is to simultaneously create piles of cash and national buzz (pun intended) by playing Notre Dame for their first game. Moore's argument?
Youd think The Notre Dame Game was The Georgia Game or something. No, bigger. Thus a problem for a Tech program trying to end its seven-victory-a-season blahs under coach Chan Gailey.
Lets just say The Georgia Game always brings out the wildest of feelings for Tech people at the end of the season. Now, with much help from Notre Dame just being Notre Dame, and with the national mania already surrounding Charlie Weis in his second season as the Irishs miracle worker, and with these jacked-up tickets at Tech to create even more hype for The Notre Dame Game, the Jackets could lose even if they win. Translated: Tech players could become an emotional mess for the rest of the season no matter what.
Because Tech's used to leading off the season with total cupcakes like...Auburn, who they beat last year and played tight the year before. Or in 2003, when they played BYU across the country at Provo and lost in their opener before playing Auburn and then Florida state in a brutal three game stretch to finish at Chan Gailey Equilibrium, a mathematical figure equivalent roughly to 7-5. (If Chan Gailey plays you in anything, by the way, he will win exactly 58.3 percent of the time. We all have talents. Chan's is having a mathematical tendency associated with everything he attempts.) Tech's problem hasn't been tight or loose scheduling--it's been Chan Gailey, who will get you the same product every single time no matter if he's fielding a squad of Nandralone-fueled sex offenders or a team of sleep-deprived midgets. Either team would lose inexplicably to UNC before handing Miami a shocker loss to finish at CGE, because that's what his brand of football is designed to do.
In the language Tech students speak: Mr. 58.3%
Worse yet, Moore takes columnist license and makes up facts. Por ejemplo:
Not coincidentally, those in charge of such things at the University of Texas stirred up their already wired faithful even more for The Notre Dame Game in 1996. They made that the afternoon in which they dedicated what was Memorial Stadium to former Longhorns coach Darrell Royal.
Were talking Darrell Royal, as in Texas Knute Rockne.
...Its just that Notre Dame whipped the previously undefeated Longhorns that day in front of their Rockne, and Texas lost six of its last 11 games.
We'll start with a quibble: a 27-24 victory does not qualify as a whipping. Edging, yes. Flat-out beating, sure. Whipping? Texas' 66-3 loss to UCLA the following year in 1997 is a whipping. 27-24 is a sound but close victory. Sit in the ball-turret gunner's position of columnist long enough, and even the verbiage starts slipping.
What should never slip is the fact-checking. Moore says Texas lost six of its last eleven games, which did indeed happen...in Terencemooreland, where lily-white SEC crowds toss burning feces at every black football player. (Terence, when cornered, is fond of playing the race card.) In our plane of reality, Texas actually went 6-4 the rest of the way, won its half of the Big 12, and then pulled the stunner in the Big 12 championship game against Nebraska, rolling out James Brown on fourth and nothing to make a long first down and allowing Florida to squeak into the national title game for Spurrier's only title in Gainesville. (Go ahead, look it up. Terence didn't.)
Being mediocre is to be expected from a columnist. But being factually incorrect? That's blogger territory, Terence, and we'd be more than happy to help you set up a Blogspot account. Plus Moore fails to consider that the Texas team in question, which had Ricky Williams and Priest Holmes in the backfield, had John Mackovic at the helm, who put more talent to the furnace of mediocrity than any coach prior to Phil Fulmer 2005. In fact, his demolition of the 1997 season begs for a full-length management study, so thorough was its ineptitude. But that would mess with Moore's premises, which is the last thing a columnist would want.
It's that guy's fault over there , right?
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Now, I know what you’re thinking….“Orson and Stranko, where’d you get $240 worth of pudding?”
Shhhhh……Don’t worry your pretty little head about it, baby. It ain’t your concern. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I gotta whisper sweet nothings to this pudding. Aw, yeah.
by PeteJayhawk on May 12, 2006 12:02 PM EDT reply actions
“Because Techs used to leading off the season with total cupcakes like Auburn, who they beat last year and played tight the year before.”
Fact-checking the fact-checking:
AU and GT did not play in 2004, they were supposed to, though, in the Gerogia Dome. If they had, OU might have not played for the Title that year.
They did play in 2003. It was one of the most miserable performances I have ever seen by an Auburn team- since the week before when USC killed them.
by AU03 on May 12, 2006 12:16 PM EDT reply actions
GAAAAAAHHHHHH!!! 1997!! It hurts!!
ahem
Moore was probably too busy trying to find a tampon to staunch the alcholism-induced rectal bleeding to bother getting anyone to fact-check. Besides, the facts don’t jibe with his rather incoherent thesis (wth ever that may be)- it’s much better to rewrite history than it is to make a valid point. As they said under Stalin, you never know what’s going to happen yesterday.
What kind of pudding?
by bitterhorn on May 12, 2006 12:18 PM EDT reply actions
I don’t even get Moore’s premise. Is he saying that there will be so much hype and energy surrounding the GT-ND game that even if the Techies win, they could be too jacked-up and adrenalized to play well over the rest of the season? I don’t know how you transport yourself to a mental state where an idea like that makes sense, but I’m guessing it involves mescaline.
Besides, anyone who’s seen the Tech offense at any point in the last 4 seasons knows that they need as much energy and adrenaline as they can get.
by Doug on May 12, 2006 12:45 PM EDT reply actions
GT always opens the season with some ridiculous game (@Auburn in ‘05, @BYU followed by AU at home in ’03, @Syracuse in ’01, @VT in ’00 – the game that was rained out and Corso’s car got struck by lightning, etc). This is standard for Tech, and hasn’t seemed to shake any teams previously. If anything, the hype this year is because Tech returns a ton of talent and should compete for the division crown and heck, even recruiting is taking a turn for the better this year.
Terrence Moore should stick to writing about prunes and tapioca, something he has recent experience with.
by Nathan on May 12, 2006 1:04 PM EDT reply actions
What’s an even bigger joke than Gailey’s constant 7-5 finishes is the fact John Mackovic actually got hired by Arizona after what he did with Texas. That’d be like Canada hiring Bush after his term is up.
Hey, it could happen…..in fact I give that a better shot of happening than Georgia Tech winning more than 7 games under Gailey.
by JazzyUte on May 12, 2006 1:10 PM EDT reply actions
GT should be applauded for this….games like this make college football fun.
Oh yeah, that 96 UT-ND game ended with ND kicking a game-winning field goal on the last play of the game. I’m surprised Terrence didn’t call racism on that.
by NoleinTexas on May 12, 2006 1:11 PM EDT reply actions
Ahhh! You just made my day.
Terrence is the biggest racist POS in Atlanta. After 5 years of living in Atlanta and reading the AJC I would rather cut off my own nuts then read his garbage.
You wait until this gets back to him and he reads this (and he will because he thinks he is God). He will be trying to sue your ass for being white, and using his name without paying him first (790 the Zone loves to bag on TM becuase he will not go on TV or radio unless you pay him an apperance fee).
by FGD on May 12, 2006 1:54 PM EDT reply actions
Man, that Notre Dame game was a heartbreaker. They had shellacked us in South Bend the year before and we really thought we had a chance with them coming to Austin. Close game that just ripped our souls out at the end. Ugh.
As for Mackovic, it wouldn’t surprise me if he still had that concussion from ‘94. Worse than that UCLA game, he let Texas lose to Rice! He’s going to roast in the fires of Hell for that one…
by Kahuna on May 12, 2006 2:07 PM EDT reply actions
Nole in Tex,
I didn’t think ND became a racist institution until they figured it was a goor idea to pay Willingham 2 mill a year to get blown out every other week. To my recollection, Davie was head coach then, he’s no racist, he’s just an idiot.
by Rome on May 12, 2006 2:08 PM EDT reply actions
facts, shmax,
they’re all overrated.
signed,
George O’Leary
by SCarGamecocksSuck on May 12, 2006 2:16 PM EDT reply actions
I couldn’t tell what the point of that column was, other than the fact that Notre Dame is very popular and it’s a big deal when they come to your stadium. That’s the kind of keen insight that I pay $.75 for every morning.
I thought about attacking Terrence for claiming that Texas was whipped by Notre Dame in ’96, but thought it beneath me to be the lion to his diseased, amputee springbok. And speaking of that Texas-ND game and ferocious hits on ND qbs, it did have one of the all-time best hits: Bryant Westbrook annihilating Ron Powlus as he came down the line on an option.
by Michael on May 12, 2006 2:40 PM EDT reply actions
In the name of all educated black men, I sincerely apologize for Terence Moore.
He’s the kind we usually try to hide at HBCUs.
CGE how does that work with LeChatlier’s Principle??
Doug,
Adrenaline won’t fix our offense….better attention to detail and a new QB might.
by A.G. on May 12, 2006 3:42 PM EDT reply actions
A.G., CGE defies all laws of chemistry and economics. We’re thinking in particular of the law of diminishing returns, in Gailey’s case.
by Orson Swindle on May 12, 2006 3:50 PM EDT reply actions
Michael, I believe the hit was on running back Randy Kinder. Powlus flipped him the ball just as Westbrook put an imprint of his helmet on Kinder’s ribcage. Definitely one of the biggest hits I’ve ever seen.
by Pat @ BGS on May 12, 2006 4:11 PM EDT reply actions
How is the CGE related to the Earl Bruce Equilibrium?
The EBE caused a plateau at 9-3 till termination. Perhaps the nexus of this phenomenon has moved from tOSU to GT and weakened like a hurricane over land as it drifted southward?
by phil on May 12, 2006 4:16 PM EDT reply actions
CGE…brilliant. I’d say more but I’ve got to go meet Chan at the bar for a glass of warm milk.
by GT Alum on May 12, 2006 4:32 PM EDT reply actions
Really enjoyable post guys. But PeteJayHawk’s reference to a 13 year old skit from “The State” made it even better. I think I stopped reading Moore sometime in the late nineties. His columns seemed to almost always involve a) race or II) his alma mater, the cradle of college football coaches. I think he writes about the latter once a year, leaving him free to write about race the rest of the time. Never thought someone could make Mark Bradley look insightful, but Moore does a pretty good job.
by SSB Charley on May 13, 2006 6:57 AM EDT reply actions
If I recall correctly, Priest Holmes was on UT from 92-96, and so not on the ’97 team?
by Charles on May 13, 2006 11:48 PM EDT reply actions
My problem with TM is deeper than his regard for the facts. And I don’t have a problem – in fact, I usually agree with – his regularly scheduled race-card rants … no, what sends me over The Edge is his trite attempts to be lyrical. Comes off to me as merely flip. The Don Sutton of ajc columnists.
by misterd on May 14, 2006 9:27 AM EDT reply actions
Again, fact-checking by readers. We were carrying over our diatribe on the ‘96 team, which had both, and saying that 8-5 was ridiculous. Bad syntax makes it look like we say that they’re on the ’97 team, too. Complete baddage on our part.
by Orson Swindle on May 14, 2006 2:40 PM EDT reply actions
Doesn’t this guy get it? Beating the French never gets old.
by FatCharlie4Pope on May 14, 2006 6:10 PM EDT reply actions
Ah yes, ND-TX ’96, when the world was introduced to the kicking prowess of a young Jim Sanson.
Why do I get a feeling the the ND fans back here are ready to throw bricks at me for bringing up his name? It’s not like he cost us BCS bids or anything…oh, wait…
(Note, I did NOT send him any death threats. I left that for the yokels)
by Wooderson on May 14, 2006 6:54 PM EDT reply actions
Terance Moore has got to be the least-read sports columnist at the Urinal-Constipation (and considering that Furman Bisher still cranks out unreadable copy from beyond the wall of senility, that’s quite an accomplishment). As noted above, he’s only got three topics: Notre Dame Rules, SEC Is A Misspelling of KKK, and last but certainly not least, It’s All Whitey’s Fault.
I think I’m very safe in saying that nobody in Atlanta has paid any attention to him in years. I’m frankly amazed Orson even bothered to read his latest tripe, much less make a brave attempt at analyzing the utterly irrational.
by Will Collier on May 15, 2006 7:52 AM EDT reply actions
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