Google’s latest step in becoming the Omega point for all thought and human activity comes in the form of Google Trends, which tracks searches by region, frequency, and time. College football searches by major American metropole:
1. Birmingham
2. Omaha
3. Baton Rouge
4. Oklahoma City
5. Columbus
6. Austin
7. Nashville
8. Tampa
9. Atlanta
10. Houston
College football–the official sport of the ‘tweener set? Not only are most of these cities university or university-proximate towns, they represent highly populated regions stuck between big-league sports markets, or at least sit on their fringes. That they serve as the de facto teams for these cities is nothing new; to see it illustrated so dramatically in terms of active interest is fascinating. It also confirms our suspicions that no one, and we mean no one, ever works in Alabama.
Other results of interest:
Top city for searching “sweatervest”: Chicago, not Columbus.
Top city for “mustache”: Austin (we know we’d like it there.)
Top city for “badonkadonk”: Raleigh! Who knew? NORTH CAROLINA…
Top city for “NCAA”: Columbus. Don’t say you weren’t worried, Buckeyes–it’s on record now.
Top city for “Herpes”: New York.
Your work day is hereby declared over. Go to it.
Big in Raleigh, evidently.
Doug Castle was hired by Ohio State coach Cheatypants McSweatervest this spring to work as an “academic encourager” for the football players. In that role, Castle goes from class to class three days per week, taking attendance and no doubt providing some first rate Youcandoits and Attaboys to the student athletes. No doubt Katzenmoyer could have used a few more of those back in his days as a scholar.
Beast on the field, needed more encouragement off the field.
It’s a breathtaking, heart-stopping time of year when college football coaches rush out of their offices to do things like play in charity golf tournaments, film horrible commercials for local businesses, and tour the state giving the same speech to rooms full of alternately awed/testy alumni.
In Oklahoma they’re squarely in the middle of the sleepy season, which Bob Stoops livened up by taking a spin with the Blue Angels. Despite blacking out during the flight due to the G-Forces, Stoops didn’t lose the club sandwich he’d tossed down his gullet just a few hours prior.
“I didn’t have any problems, but I didn’t think I would. I haven’t had any trouble with my stomach over the years,” Stoops said. “I ate a club sandwich a couple hours before we went up.”
When you whip out the blockquote tag about Stoops eating a club sandwich and then whipping around in a trainer for a half-hour, you know it’s the offseason. We searched for video but couldn’t find any, so this will have to suffice if you’re just craving a little Blue Angel action. (Safe for work, since we’re referring to the actual USAF Blue Angels, not the act of lighting a fart in front of an audience.)
Other coaches are sure to want to try this, though some may have to supersize their flying experience to accomodate their authoritative physiques. For instance, we’re sure a C-5 Galaxy would suit Phil Fulmer just fine.
Like Phil, capable of holding vast amounts of cargo loaded just under the nose.
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