Chauncey Washington’s miraculous ascension from a struggling student to 3.8 GPA savant at USC may or may not have something to do with a renewed interest in academics…but for the moment, we’ll assume that he just got fascinated with his schoolwork for some reason. Or, if he was taking women’s studies classes with Dr. Diana York Blaine, two very specific reasons:
Random crowd shot from the Sears 400 at Talladega? Nope. That is Dr. Blaine herself, a women’s studies professor at USC and a self-described “adventurer” whose topless photos of herself raised some eyebrows when students found them on her private site this week. She’s gotten quite a bit of pub over the deal, including some light scrutiny from the Trojan admins and the honor of being told she has “National Geographic breasts” by anonymous commenters.
This really should not be a big deal, since academics have been going topless in public for years. (HT: Bill.)
Dr. Michael J. Fay, seen here topless. If you’re going to do a Megatransect, at least have the decency to wear a shirt, sir!
Texas has done built themselves the biggest damn scoreboard in the whole rootin’, tootin’, convict-executin’ state of Texas, y’all. Not that the rest of the world matters, but the scoreboard would also qualify as the biggest in the known universe…as if that mattered. (HT: Kevin)
Mack Brown will watch movies on this. Mark our words.
All that matters for the Longhorns is that the scoreboard will mesmerize opponents with its irresistable magnitude, which could be bad for them since Dennis Franchione, transfixed by his own panty-dropping good looks broadcast on a 7,370 square foot screen, could be absent for most of the A&M/UT game, allowing the Aggies to actually score points and compete. Perhaps blinders would help.
A horse track in Tokyo plans on eclipsing the Texas screen later this year. No news on who will be the first to watch their own homemade porn on either screen (and thus see their penis magnified by a factor of thousands), but we have our own suspects.
“Just look at it, Matsumoto-san. It’s three hundred feet long up there!
Football programs are almost exclusively run by men. Men, on occasion, buy expensive crap they don’t need, like an XBox 360, Cadillac CTS, or six South African hookers on the credit card during a wild weekend in Jo’burg. (Man, do they get testy when your card’s declined. Or so we’re told…we just remember waking up with staples in our back on the veldt in front of a very confused safari van full of Israeli tourists.)
The University of Arizona Athletic Department obviously fell for the OOH SHINY THING! card when they announced the purchase of a SportsMotion system for use by Wildcat athletic teams. (HT: The Wiz) Cost: $325,000, according to XOS Systems, the Florida-based company that cranks these things out. What does the athletic department plan on doing with this?
The idea is similar to a basketball player being form-fitted with an outfit with sensors to capture precise movements for a video game, such as “NBA Jam,” said Albert Tsai, XOS’s vice president of advanced research and development.
Albert reps himself some Sega Genesis! If they don’t have the feature where a basketball player who makes more than three shots in a row bursts into flames, the U got gipped here. We used to thrash bitches with Rony Seikaly and Harold “Baby Jordan” Miner, and if we were an athletically gifted 6′10″ 18 year old–which we’re the opposite of, by the way–this would be a key selling point of any campus visit, along with complete wireless internet access, fat-bottomed girls in hot pants and go-go boots, and the presence of live, potentially man-eating animals on campus.
The SportsMotion system would allow players to capture their motions and create entire virtual environments for them to practice in, which if we were in charge would mean that the U of Arizona has purchased the largest, most expensive game of Tekken ever created. Capturing you and your friends’ invidual motions and turning them into hilariously unintimidating fatality moves? Well worth the $320K, no matter what the state auditor says.
Our killer move would be the “espresso bitch slap.”
Actually, it’s not just crap–it’s OLD crap, according to GatorSports.com. A tip of the hat to Tigerpundit for their wag of the finger at the Anderson Independent-Mail for letting the Clemson coaching staff toss shit at Florida in their paper without fact-checking the accusation.
Just another example of how the MSM doesn’t “get it.” [/colbert-reynolds-take-your -pick.]
Can’t stand newspapers. All “fact,” no heart.
Gov. Dave Heineman did something that Steve Spurrier never could. He apparently beat the revered Tom Osborne in the Republican primary for the Nebraska gubernatorial election. Knowing nothing of Mr. Heineman, we are left to puerile rumination over how much fun it is to say gubernatorial.
Now that Osborne is unemployed and still younger than Joe Pa, Callahan should be even less popular in Lincoln when his QB throws 5 picks.
Loading ...
