As we prepare to depart, Bernard Pollard (late of Purdue, now with the Chiefs) will share his secret family recipe for guacamole. On your way to the party tonight, go ahead and be sure to pick up:
–One Gary Russell
Then simply lift and pound into the ground at terminal velocity. It’s just that simple.
Happy Cinco de Mayo!
As reported on Deadspin, the ever-crumbling ombudsman George Solomon allowed Stuart Scott to respond to reader complaints about his…”poetry slam” reports he performed on air. (In case you didn’t see them, we searched YouTube and found no trace of it. This may be a good thing, since future generations won’t be subjected to its “brown note”-like effects, which caused rectal spasms in viewers nationwide and made for a huge month in the carpet cleaning business.)
An artist’s rendition of our response to Stuart Scott’s poetry slam.
Scott’s defense of his on-air Dr. Seuss impression:
“The reading of poetry is an African-American thing — expressing emotion,” he said. “I do it as an ode of respect to the community and an interesting way to do a highlight. It’s a way of expressing a passion that’s creative and instructive. Sure it’s different. That’s what we’re supposed to do. I want African-Americans to see you can do the job and still be who you are.”
Scott lays out this equation as his defense: “ETHNICITY=LICENSE TO DO WHATEVER STUPID CRAP I WANT TO DO ON AIR.” (more…)
Les Miles’ phenomenal first season at LSU–shy of the loss to Tennessee that drained Tennessee of all talent, motivation and karma for the remainder of the season and the SEC title game defeat–left very little for Tiger fans to complain about. This became doubly true after LSU gave Art Kehoe and the rest of the Miami offensive coaching staff in the worst beating in recent ‘Cane history, the 40-3 braining in the Peach Bowl where the punishment didn’t stop with the end of the game—a Miami player involved in a post-game brawl was knocked out by an LSU player swinging a helmet like Sammo Hung in the tunnel.
One thing fans could complain about: Miles’ big, dorky white baseball cap, which seems to hit all the tick marks of bad hat choice. It sits too high on his head, the bill juts out like a dork awning, and the sparkling white beanie is visible from space. TigerSmack’s been working on this problem. They’re just trying to help, really.
Miles Hat Mondays: be sure to click over for the other compelling submissions.
Despite lots of posturing last year, the Texas-Oklahoma game will remain at the Cotton Bowl at least until 2010 even without any promises of improvements to the dumpy stadium. Out of habit, we feel like making a Texas as Stoops’ bitch joke here, but they pretty much got rid of that monkey last year, didn’t they?
That monkey off Mack Brown’s back is behaving quite well…we think.
One of the greatest Washington D.C. busts of all time is one step closer to returning. Health Shuler has won the Democratic primary and is looking to challenge Republican incumbent Charles Taylor for his western carolina house seat. Although Taylor has been in office for some time now, Shuler’s chances must be helped by Taylor’s association with Jack Abramoff and warlordism in Liberia.
Can Shuler beat this man???
Orson Swindle and Stranko Montana are two men pushing thirty who should know better than to run a college football blog, but evidently don't. Both graduated from the University of Florida, and both agree that college football is far too important to be left to the professionals.
Comments? Questions? Long strings of profanities directed at something we said? Please send your comments to harumphharumph -a- yahoo -dot- com. Please direct all tailgating photos and stories to edsbsfans -a- gmail -dot- com.
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