Taste the genius of Big Mike with the updated Fulmer Cup scoreboard:

You may see the full board here. A few clarifications and notes are in order:

–The Miss. State score will have to come down with the reduction of all charges to a misdemeanor this week. This should land them somewhere around a 6, though the jury may award them an extra pair of style points for beating up a cop, even if he was off-duty. This would put 2-A Delaware back firmly in the lead for their Tarentino incident involving teammates staging armed home invasions against other teammates for cash, steroids, and other drugs.

–Still a shocking silence from the Florida State and Miami camps. The two could still team up for a scoreboard shattering double hit with a cartel/human trafficking/Scarface episode, but we doubt it’s going to happen at this point since both teams had trouble scoring anything (points or drugs) towards the end of last season.

–Wisconsin, Marshall, and Purdue all lurk within easy striking distance here, having compiled impressive totals one small crime at a time. We’d put our money on Marshall, since Matthew McConaughey just shot a movie there and may have spread the dance fever that is naked bongo-playing to the locals, including the football players.

–Tennessee, despite making their debut this week, cannot be given additional points for booting Raymond Henderson off the squad, since he wasn’t charged with anything. As much as we dislike Phil (who is very, very fat,) we have some standards around here.

–Note the new ingredients of the cup. There’s reasons our sponsor changed…