RENT! THE USC VERSION

I’m starting to like Stewart Mandel more and more. And that’s not just because I dislike Pete Carroll.
http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2006/writers/stewart_mandel/04/28/usc.sanchez/index.html

I actually thought you were being clever by calling the apartments the Medici. Man, self-awareness is dead and buried, but irony’s zombie corpse walks amongst us always.

Come on now, let’s be fair to Lorenzo. It wasn’t his fault that the Medici fell apart. If I remember my reading of “The Agony and the Ecstacy” correctly, it was Pietro de Medici who let that dynasty fall apart. And the translation of Pietro from Italian to English is . . .

anyone?

Wait a minute, are you telling me that EDSBS is now going to come into the wheelhouse of Renaissance Italy? Because I would be totally down for that because then I could count my time here as time spent working, and that would be awesome. Nice connection by Andrew with the Pietro/Peter, although it might not work here since Carroll also could be credited with bringing USC back into prominence as well, while Pietro was basically given a situation that was in many ways out of his control (pope, king of France, Savonarola, etc.).

Andrew, that’s a superb observation. Who’ll be the Savanarola to start the Bonfire of the Vanities? We nominate [NAME REDACTED.] He’s built for the role.

Fredo should never have betrayed Michael…

No offense, Orson, but somehow [NAME REDACTED] doesn’t strike as self-righteous enough to rein in that program. Maybe this is just the Notre Dame fan in me talking, but there’s a coach with an excellent reputation as a “Molder of Men” who’d be perfect to make the necessary changes at Southern Cal. And he’s not that far away, just up the coast in Seattle, the head coach of the Washington Huskies, the one, the only, Tyrone Willingham.

Ah, the black [NAME REDACTED].

How funny would it be if eventually the condoms do bring in Lionel to right that ship? and then we beat them 3 years in a row by 31 pts? Would everyone finally get the fuck off our back about firing him? I hope that even the most casual peruser of this site will understand that the guy can’t coach.

Actually, I think I’m going to go light some candles, say a rosary, and pray to God they take him in after Peet gets the boot next year.

Tyrone in LaLa Land? Well, he would have to consider whether or not he would get a private golf club membership. If that was part of the package, then he would probably consider making the move. After all, the golf weather is almost perfect in Southern California all year long.

We’re number one! we’re number one! we’re number one! Huh? Oh.

Damn near $4,000 a month!?! What is this? Melrose Place! Do you get an in-house Hooker to satisfy your daily needs?

I think I could rent out the SEC Headquarters here in the Ham for less than $4,000 a month!

I can actually see Leinart, Bush, et al. doing a pretty fetching version of the showtunes from “Rent”. Led by Pete “Jazz Fingers” Carroll of course.

I know he’ll be able to pay back his dad, but they might as well have just rented and whole house of that sorta loot.

Here’s the website for the Apt complex. You’d think they coulda gotten a better website for that kind of money.

The rent is that high to cover the wasted courtyard / garden space.

Do NCAA violations count in Fulmer Cup standings? If so, Southern Cal has to be in good standing considering the sex assualts and ecstacy and Victoria Secret parties and . . . damn, where was I going with this?

I wonder if Leinart or Jarrett has AIDS.

“Rent II: Sublease”
Everyone has AIDS!
AIDS AIDS AIDS!
AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS!

Fulmer would definitley be Alexander VI in this NCAA Renaissance Italy. Universially hated schemer whose name would be synonomous with inbreeding and corruption for hundreds of years. Neither the Borgia nor the Fulmer apartments would be occupied for centuries, leaving scholars with scant clues and a fine orange powder covering everything.

My question is how much did Matt rack up at the butterfly nail bar and did big bob cover it?

It also does highlight an important point. Why should it be okay for a kid with money from his parents be able to live high on the hog and a kid without shouldn’t? I mean I understand it’s family, but if Dwayne Jarrett is worth $1250 a month as a roomate, why can’t bob/matt pay for it? I mean, my roomate has to do the laundry, walk the dog and have sex with me for her half; I’m sure the Leinart and Jarrett could have struck a similar bargain without running afoul of the NCAA.

So essentially, it comes down to this. If your a draftable player, go ahead and live in the fatty pad of your well-to-do teammate’s dad. Float the kid a loan and then come collecting immediately after the NFL Draft.

Can anyone NOT see why the NCAA wouldn’t want to allow this?
Substitute Mr. Leinart for Mr. Sports Agent and suddenly you see the potential clarity of the problem. Kid gets floated a loan for a phat pad and the rest is history. Only the seemy side? The kid doesn’t get drafted and suddenly has to work his ass off to appease the agent. Or he (the “student”-athlete) exposes said agent to the NCAA in hopes of bad press that will hurt him getting future clients. In that respect, it becomes a crap shoot for the agent. But one game in which every agent will bet on.

Every, single, time.

Miracles Dept:

Miracle #1. Wow! A whole day went by without a USC player involved in a scandal. Cheers! Hooray for Hollywood!

Miracle #2. Have the saintly Notre Dame Pedophiles been tarnished by a bit of sleaze? The Los Angeles Daily News’ Scott Wolf just reported the following, regarding ‘the receding hair line of a 30-year old high school junior’ Clownsen:

“We’re 2,000 miles from South Bend but I talked to someone tonight with first-hand knowledge who said Notre Dame sent a Hummer stretch limo to pickup Oaks Christian quarterback Jimmy Clausen during his recent visit and commitment. Sounds a bit excessive, no?”

“There’s also reports that a sports agent helped coordinate the public announcement of the commitment at the College Football Hall of Fame.”

http://www.insidesocal.com/usc/

The NCAA should investigate and dock Weis his morning’s half dozen or so donuts for a day or two!

Or, be forced to see Berman’your with me, leather’ NFL draft show. Nah, that would be cruel an unusual punishment.

Thank you, Mr. Wireman. Clearly pickup via hummer > sexual assault. Please excuse me while I flagellate myself.