IN HONOR OF THE NBA PLAYOFFS

Permit me to be the first “I don’t get it” commenter for this one — and by “it” I don’t mean the humor of the video (which is self-evident) but the concept of the “Miami Heat Golden Oldies” itself. My first instinct was to think that that the Heat were bringing back some of their dance team members from the franchise’s early years, kind of like Georgia does on Homecoming when they bring back some of the now-elderly folks who were cheerleaders in the ’50s and ’60s. But then I looked up the Heat on Wikipedia and found out the team has only been around since 1988!

So from that, I can only infer that the Golden Oldies have little to no connection to the team’s early years but are simply just some random old folks the Heat organization plucked off the street in south Florida to occasionally shake their variably geriatric asses on the b-ball court. Of course, if the whole thing is just designed to play off of Miami’s reputation as a Promised Land for the retired and/or elderly, then I applaud it for being a phenomenally ballsy exercise in civic self-deprecation, sort of like if the Tennessee Volunteers were to start a pep band called the “Smoky Mountain Moonshine Drinkin’ First-Cousin-Fuckers” and trot them out for halftime shows at Neyland.

The Vols band isn’t called that already? Call me confused.

The NBA. It’s Fantastic!

I love me some Mark Cuban, but I think he’s partially to blame for this. He started the idea of having fat guys in skimpy T-shirts dance during timeouts, and now the ceiling’s been removed in terms of getting anything other than the skanktacular dance team out there.

DIBS!
Yall heard me call it. DIBS on Margerie, the third one from the left. MMMMM Yeah Margerie. Gotta get me “sum-a-dat”

You think that this is a joke, but it’s just the setup for an AARP “dark” operation to start inserting geriatrics as the new sex goddesses. There will be no MILF, only GILF. FSM help us all.

The Heat are my new favorite team. Everything they do is hilarious. Jamie Fox is laughing his ass off. But you cant beat Haslem (UF alum) throwing his mouthpiece at a ref, priceless.

Curves – An official partner of the NBA.

Did anyone see 40-year-old Virgin? GILF isn’t such a bad concept when Catherine Keener is carrying the flag for the idea.